Question

[Urbs Aedificator]

Not sure what part of the forum this question belongs in, but I'll try here. I'm not use to soliciting advice on forums, and one's that I am new on. Also I do not usually discuss family matters on forums, but I feel the caliber of the individuals here are pretty outstanding as far as I am able to discern so far.

Here is the question, with some background first. Several days ago, my father at the age of 83 passed away. He was my mentor, especially as he introduced me to the wonders of the Roman world, and it is from him that I gained my passion for Rome and what she stood for. Many evenings we sat and discussed anything and everything about Rome. I was fortunate to have had a father who was rather knowledgable about Rome, and who never missed an opportunity to talk with his son.

My question is, I wish to in some way commemorate my father in a Roman fashion, but I am completely unaware of, in different ages of Rome, and by different classes of Romans, how they honored those that had recently passed on. I wish to ask how you, my fellow forum citizens would honor someone in a Roman fashion?

This question may sound odd, and maybe even a bit 'hocky', but I am quite sincere. I cant think of a better way to honor my dad than with something that would ring true as a Roman.

I'm of limited means, so I cant do anything greatly extravagant, but I have lots of energy and time to devote to his memory.

Your honored opinions would be greatly appreciated.

Alex

[Ludovicus]

Not sure what part of the forum this question belongs in, but I'll try here. I'm not use to soliciting advice on forums, and one's that I am new on. Also I do not usually discuss family matters on forums, but I feel the caliber of the individuals here are pretty outstanding as far as I am able to discern so far.

Here is the question, with some background first. Several days ago, my father at the age of 83 passed away. He was my mentor, especially as he introduced me to the wonders of the Roman world, and it is from him that I gained my passion for Rome and what she stood for. Many evenings we sat and discussed anything and everything about Rome. I was fortunate to have had a father who was rather knowledgable about Rome, and who never missed an opportunity to talk with his son.

My question is, I wish to in some way commemorate my father in a Roman fashion, but I am completely unaware of, in different ages of Rome, and by different classes of Romans, how they honored those that had recently passed on. I wish to ask how you, my fellow forum citizens would honor someone in a Roman fashion?

This question may sound odd, and maybe even a bit 'hocky', but I am quite sincere. I cant think of a better way to honor my dad than with something that would ring true as a Roman.

I'm of limited means, so I cant do anything greatly extravagant, but I have lots of energy and time to devote to his memory.

Your honored opinions would be greatly appreciated.

Alex

 

What a nice thought. You might create a website as a memorial to your father. There are a number of providers of free homepages. Your email provider may offer this free service to you. On the site you could include a brief biographical sketch, links to your father's favorite books, articles, pictures, etc. You could even provide links to UNRV and other sites with a special connection to your father's life. You don't have to publicize your site on Google. You may want it just to send to family and friends. Best of luck. Your father's life achievements and your warm memories of him will help you through this period of mourning.

[ASCLEPIADES]

My condolences.

[Urbs Aedificator]

My thanks to you both. It's funny, I'm sad about my dad, but it's the realization that I'll never have our wonderful conversations again that is hard to accept.

Ludovicus, that's a really interesting idea about a website as a memorial...I would never have thought of that. Thanks.

I was pondering trying to find a sculptor that works in marble to make a bust in the classical style.

I love the idea of a muneris, but people might think I'm 'cracked'. A muneris seems fitting...

Alex

[Sextus Tempanius]

Sorry for your loss. Just a thought here, but if I remember correctly Romans tended to bury the dead outside of the city walls along the roads out of the town. Many inscriptions ask the passerby to remember the dead. Perhaps a wooden plaque in the entryway to the house. With the carving of a suitable looking roman or a Romanized version of your fathers name would be fitting, perhaps a Latin quote underneath? That way you would honor your father and his memory would be preserved by those recalling him in their coming and going from your home. A modern twist on older traditions.

[The Augusta]

My thanks to you both. It's funny, I'm sad about my dad, but it's the realization that I'll never have our wonderful conversations again that is hard to accept.

 

My mother passed on 19 years ago, and I still miss our nightly conversations. She was my one true kindred spirit, so I can appreciate your loss, Alex. She wasn't very knowledgeable about Rome as much as other eras of history, but she would avidly listen to me going on and ask me relevant and pertinent questions - from which she formed quite an 'attachment' to one, Marcus Agrippa. She was a darling, and I still miss her.

 

The idea of the website is a very good one, I think - as is Sextus' inscription idea. I am not sure what ideas you have formed for his actual funeral service (if, in fact, it has not yet taken place), but perhaps a little reading from Virgil or Horace - or even a witty Cicero letter - if he was inclined that way. And there are, of course, many Latin quotes and inscriptions that could go on to a commemorative plaque or stone.

 

My condolences, Alex.

 

ETA: I like your idea of a bust. As a confirmed genealogist myself, I don;t find this in any 'wacky'. Our ancestors should be honoured - and our parents are even more beloved.

Edited July 9, 2007 by The Augusta

[Bryaxis Hecatee]

Another way to remember him in a roman way, and probably less costly than a bust, would be a mask of his face made in wax, which you would keep in a place of honor, eventually next to an inscription in his memory as suggested by the others. In any case know that you will have no better place to keep the memories of him than your own heart and I'm sure that's also the place he'd have wanted to be most honored and would thus be proud of you at the present time.

[Lost_Warrior]

::hugs:: you have my sympathy.

 

May your father live long in Elysium!

[Urbs Aedificator]

Thank you all. I don't really feel like I'm in mourning, just lost a friend I liked to chat to....thanks again.

You have all presented great ideas, some of which never occured to me. This coupled with your sympathies, only confirms the caliber of the people here on the forum.

Ave Amicus.

Alex

[dcb188]

My condolences also, Alex. The members came up with some really good ideas re honoring your dad. Maybe a combination of most of them would be nice, a bust made, a letter read, a website. They are all great ideas. You could do more than one.

[Maty]

Something else to bear in mind is that for the Romans one of the greatest tributes to a father was that his son should be worthy of him, or even greater. Therefore, honouring your father Roman-style means living your life in such a way as to do him honour. If every time you consider doing something you ask yourself 'would this make my father proud?' your actions will help to determine the construction of the greatest memorial a Romanophile father could ask for - yourself.

[Vibius Tiberius Costa]

The greatest tribute you have already given.

Your love.

Something every Roman is proud of.

This may sound odd but why don't you suggest to (or give to) your children (for theirs if applies in the future).

Or the bust idea.

 

vtc

[Urbs Aedificator]

Something else to bear in mind is that for the Romans one of the greatest tributes to a father was that his son should be worthy of him, or even greater. Therefore, honouring your father Roman-style means living your life in such a way as to do him honour. If every time you consider doing something you ask yourself 'would this make my father proud?' your actions will help to determine the construction of the greatest memorial a Romanophile father could ask for - yourself.

You know,it's funny you should mention the above...that's exactly how I'm feeling these days...and I feel that this is what I will ultimately do. My dad and I where both afficianados(if you will) with regards to Roman Stoacism. We both admired the practical stoacism of Epictetus(yes I know, a GREEK slave during the Principate) and his influence on the likes of Marcus Aurelius(Meditations),et al. It's funny, three books left to me from my dad were: M.Aurelius' Meditations, Seneca Letters From A Stoic, and Cicero's On The Good Life...all pretty good philosophical tomes on how to live a flourishing life...whether you are a modern or a Roman.

Maty thank you.

[Urbs Aedificator]

The greatest tribute you have already given.

Your love.

Something every Roman is proud of.

This may sound odd but why don't you suggest to (or give to) your children (for theirs if applies in the future).

Or the bust idea.

 

vtc

Vibius, thank you kindly. It's funny even in these modern times how we are still greatly influenced by Roman values. Love for my dad will always be there.

I am seeking out someone to carve a bust...but here in Canada, it seems to be a lost art... but I'll find someone in good time I'm sure.

Thank you all.

Cheers

Alex(Lar Aeternius Donax)

[M. Porcius Cato]

I am seeking out someone to carve a bust...but here in Canada, it seems to be a lost art... but I'll find someone in good time I'm sure.

 

Sandra Shaw, a sculptress in Toronto, accepts commissions for portrait busts that would strongly evoke the Greco-Roman attitude toward portraiture. Her website is http://www.sandrashaw.com. I've seen her work in person, attended her lectures, and discussed ancient art with her at some length. I think she would understand, appreciate, and admire your goals. Good luck.