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The Imaginary Party


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Panther? Now we're talking....

 

You'd better not hurt my panther with that big sword of yours, Caldrail.

 

-- Nephele

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On the contrary Nephele. Caldrail sees the adoring panther and drops to his knees placing the sword firmly at the feet of the panther and begins a ritual of worship! AC sees this as an opportunity to rid himself of the leash and drops it quietly beside the panther who looks a tad bemused at Caldrail and his strange antics. Maybe it's wondering whether to bite his head off... but then thinks if he is subserviant then he can get free meals and pandered to all the time. So the panther merely lies down and pretends to be 'lost'.

 

AC goes off with his dutiful but masterful wife for this fine beverage offered to him. He casually struts to the centre of the floor and awaits quiet before declaring the party get started. Many drinks begin to flow from their vessels to their wine swilling owners mouths and merry is made. Much light is made of Caldrail and his new play thing... the panther stays cool!!

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It was late in the night when the knock upon the door brought a message from Crassus himself, delivered by his slave to Marcus Larconius Ralla, owner of several haberdasheries in the Greek Quarter. What a tale! Brutus Brittanicus Thrax, an oafish gladiator of some repute has thrown an agent of Crassus into the pool! And now I, Larconius, must infiltrate this party on behalf of my exceedingly wealthy patron. After that last shipment of cloth went down in the Mare Internum near Massilia my profits have vanished. Tomorrow I will need cash to gamble at the side of the arena and show everyone that Larconius is both wealthy and generous. If my mission succeeds tonight, Crassus will reward me greatly....

 

"Manlius!" I call impatiently for my big nubian slave, "Manlius!... Ah there you are. Lamps and a litter. We travel to the party tonight and... bring my box... you know, the special one?"

 

"Yus, Master." And so the slave is about his business in his unhurried and unstoppable manner. I kiss my wife goodbye as I ignore her whining about never taking her anywhere. Perhaps I'll tell her one day that I know of her secret assignations at the Ludum...

 

The streets are quiet at this time of the evening. A warm night. Ugh! The stench does not agree with me... There! Was that a sicarius hiding in the shadows? No matter. He knows better than to mess with Manlius. Ah, at last, the party. In full swing I see.... To business. I step over the panther pooh on the atrium floor and enter the fray...

 

Who's that by the pillar? Gasp! Augustus Caesar! Tonight we play for high stakes indeed!

 

"Ave Caesar. You're looking well. Hmmmm... Homespun.... No thats definitely not you. I'll have my slaves prepare a suitable tunic for you Caesar. No no, one should look the part in front of their adoring public. Psssst! If its not too forward of me Caesar I'm aware of your reputation with the ladies. Perhaps a little something special for the weekend? Manlius... the box...."

 

"Yus, Master."

 

"Here Caesar, a gift from the Larconii. An aphrodisiac potion that caused Cleopatra's heart to flutter in the company of your lamented great uncle. Your secret is safe with me...... Ahhhhh! The Augusta! What present can I give Rome's first lady? Manlius, the box..."

 

"Yus, Master."

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Which 2 words: vini and vinci? :P

 

Even still...Doc, satisfied that the party is going at full speed, steals herself away to a quiet corner...all this organizing and making merry takes a toll now and then! She seeks out her favorite snuggle-bunny and curls up for a quick cat nap. Hopefully all will continue well.....

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Antiochus drops in so everyone knows he still exists... but Antiochus thinks the party is starting to die off a bit... so he reinvigorates it by making it a...

 

COMMUNIST PARTY!

 

the_communist_party_zoom.jpg

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Behind my pillar I feel safe, but this is an illusion. A hand snakes round my upper arm - softly, but persuasively. I look round and my head swims - someone far too noble to even have looked at me during this night is holding a finger to her lips and pointing to a secluded alcove. A refusal to grant her an audience could mean death! But so could her message. She clearly wants to delegate some unspeakable task to me. Why me? I feel my purse of Octavius' gold weighing heavy and I resent life for not permitting me the oppurtunity to spend it. Ah well, now for the message. Get it over with!!

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Manlius remains standing arms folded.

 

Nephele tickles Manlius' nose with a peacock feather, while considering swapping her panther for Caldrail's Nubian. He's prettier than the panther. But he'll require a larger, diamond-studded collar...

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From my safe vantage point behind the pillar I notice the arm slowly advancing along NN's lower arm and wonder who this could be!! I have heard many tales of ill goings on in this household and deals of a rather ropey nature. I try to get a better view and trip over the darned panther which looks at me with those eyes that say 'That's the third time tonight someone's done that!!'. I spill my drink and head off for another and am accosted in the doorway leding to the impluvium. I know not who this is as I am struck unconcious by a blow to the head. Was this meant for me? Or has there been a terrible mistake as it was meant for another? I barely hear the screams of shock and terror butI am safely carried back into the party where everyone is nervously looking around to see what has happened and who the culprit was.

 

The communist leader is immediately under suspicion and Caldrail summonses his rather brutish slave to take of him. Sadly the barrier is not strong enough to hold the leader when pushed against it and he falls to a rather crushing death at the foot of the hillside. There's a hush then much rejoicing as the rest of the communist party get up in disgust and walk out. I am coming round quickly and am able to rejoin the revelry where a fresh drink is handed to me and the panther shows his toothy grin!!

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Doc goes and asks for a bush of catnip...maybe that'll keep the big kitty at bay...

 

Meanwhile, with all this commotion and rebel-rousing, enough attention has been diverted away from the kitchen staff, where they finally get a hold of enough time to prepare a scrumptious supper. With the food ready to be served again, Doc can breathe once again...unless someone else decides to try and ruin her party!

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I think it's about time good young AC took his place and asked everyone to respect the host and this wonderful event she has laid on for all us good citizens of Rome.

 

"Be quiet you lot at the back and give me respect or I'll have you all thrown to the lions!!" AC commands slence and gets it. Good job too coz he hates watching lions having a good time... "Now you all know that the Doc here is fond of a good razzle or two and maybe some other things as well but there's no need to keep causing a rumpus just because you feel like it. I've been watching you all in here with your ideas of merriment etc and I must admit some of it is getting out of hand. I suppose it might be too much to ask for a civil party to begin to take shape and for us all to get on with what us good Romans do best. So I'm gonna ask that we all get totally ratted but in a 'nice' fashion."

 

With that silence again left its ugly head hanging over the procedings and Doc was quite chuffed that at last the party was about to get into a proper swing. "Hurrah for AC!!" she shouts... "YAY!!" went up the cheers all round the floor. Caldrail hung his head and looked at the panther. They sleeked off together in the sunset but stayed a close distance to the party to hear all the jolly goings on. Manlius began to sneeze all over Nephele who still hadn't given up on the peacock feather!! Maybe if Caldrail brings back the panther a deal for the Nubian could still be done.....

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