Publius Nonius Severus Posted March 27, 2007 Report Share Posted March 27, 2007 On the Adam Carolla Radio show in the U.S., there is a regular short bit where Adam attempts to explain a feature of modern day society to "1780s Guy" under the pretense that today's world is quite different from the 18th century and therefore would require some explaining to our ancestors. "1780s Guy" then asks a witty question or makes a comedic statement in response. I think that if we had to explain our world to the Ancient Romans we would also see some hillarity ensue. So, pick an aspect of modern day society, pick a notable Roman guy or gal to explain it to, and try to think of a witty response to your explanation. I'll begin: Severus: You see Cicero, In America, we elect our chief executive, called a President, for four-year terms. In fact, it is possible for the President to be re-elected and serve eight years in a row. Cicero: Is your President's name Marius? Ok, mine was kind of geeky...let's see what you can do! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaius Octavius Posted March 27, 2007 Report Share Posted March 27, 2007 (edited) *Blundered.* Edited March 27, 2007 by Gaius Octavius Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Publius Nonius Severus Posted March 27, 2007 Author Report Share Posted March 27, 2007 *Blundered.* Blundered as in I botched it, or as in not funny, or as in a bad idea overall? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maladict Posted March 27, 2007 Report Share Posted March 27, 2007 Severus: You see Cicero, In America, we elect our chief executive, called a President, for four-year terms. In fact, it is possible for the President to be re-elected and serve eight years in a row. Cicero: Is your President's name Marius? You see, Mr. Constantine, the modern western world, made up more or less of the successor states of your empire, inherited Christianity as its religion because of your policies. Constantine: Well, then I guess I won't have to bother with that Donation I had in mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Publius Nonius Severus Posted March 27, 2007 Author Report Share Posted March 27, 2007 (edited) You see, Mr. Constantine, the modern western world, made up more or less of the successor states of your empire, inherited Christianity as its religion because of your policies.Constantine: Well, then I guess I won't have to bother with that Donation I had in mind. That's it...Well done! Here's another: Severus: Well, today we have a marvelous compound called soap, Mr. Pliny, that comes in solid or liquid form. It can be used for cleaning all manners of things including clothing. You just mix the soap and some water, add your clothes, agitate them, rinse, and they come out fresh and clean! Pliny The Elder: So what am I supposed to do with this chamber pot then? Edited March 27, 2007 by Publius Nonius Severus Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Augusta Posted March 27, 2007 Report Share Posted March 27, 2007 Hehe - interesting....Spring is in the air and we can all go mad.... HBO representative - You see, ma'am, this is a modern invention called television. Actors portray the lives of the great as we imagined them to be. This scene shows some of the more intimate moments you may have shared with your husband. Livia - Great Gods! - If he'd given me such a wonderful time, I'd have been happy to sit at my loom for the rest of the day! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaius Octavius Posted March 27, 2007 Report Share Posted March 27, 2007 (edited) *Blundered.* Blundered as in I botched it, or as in not funny, or as in a bad idea overall? As in: Vercingetorix' last words: "Caesar, is this really necessary?" but: MPC and Cicero to Caesar: "The Americans don't fix their elections, nor do they have dictators." Caesar: "Oh?" Edited March 27, 2007 by Gaius Octavius Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaius Octavius Posted March 27, 2007 Report Share Posted March 27, 2007 Hehe - interesting....Spring is in the air and we can all go mad.... HBO representative - You see, ma'am, this is a modern invention called television. Actors portray the lives of the great as we imagined them to be. This scene shows some of the more intimate moments you may have shared with your husband. Livia - Great Gods! - If he'd given me such a wonderful time, I'd have been happy to sit at my loom for the rest of the day! Continued: HBO Rep: What happened to your internet site, you Tattle Tale :notworthy: ? Livia: Ask Miss Bobbit! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nephele Posted March 27, 2007 Report Share Posted March 27, 2007 NEPHELE: As you can see, at our circuses we don't bet on chariot races. Instead, we are entertained by performances that include animals, acrobats... and clowns! EMPEROR HADRIAN (irritably picking cotton candy out of his beard): A dozen clowns squeezing into a tiny chariot is not my idea of entertainment. Although, I quite like the tigers. But when do the tigers stop their tiresome jumping through the hoops so the bestiarius can do battle with them? NEPHELE: We don't do battle with tigers at the circus. An organization called People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals would shut down the circus, if a tiger got hurt. HADRIAN (looking at me as though I'm nuts): What if a tiger eats the bestiarius? Is that permitted at least? NEPHELE: Haha, that's not going to happen. HADRIAN: You people pay money for this? -- Nephele Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maladict Posted March 27, 2007 Report Share Posted March 27, 2007 Maladict: "....and that concludes this summary on the EU's policy of agricultural subsidies". Cato: "Interesting. Furthermore I am of the opinion that the city of Tunis should be destroyed". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Publius Nonius Severus Posted March 27, 2007 Author Report Share Posted March 27, 2007 (edited) Awesome contributions all...you put mine to shame! My turn again: Severus: "In today's fast paced world there is no time for lavish dinners that last several hours nor does anyone have time to cook...but, all you have to do is speak into that clown face there and tell it what you want to eat then I drive the auto-lectica around the corner and pick up our food!" Apicius: "Intriguing! (leans head out window) Ahem, yes, I would like a McDormouse with Cheese...extra garum please..." Edited March 27, 2007 by Publius Nonius Severus Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
M. Porcius Cato Posted March 27, 2007 Report Share Posted March 27, 2007 MPC: And this, Nero, is Hollywood. Nero: Finally, now I can live like a human being. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Augusta Posted March 27, 2007 Report Share Posted March 27, 2007 MPC: And this, Nero, is Hollywood.Nero: Finally, now I can live like a human being. Class! Sheer Class! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julius Ratus Posted March 28, 2007 Report Share Posted March 28, 2007 JR: Alright Marius, we call this an A.L.I.C.E. pack. Marius: Very nice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaius Octavius Posted March 28, 2007 Report Share Posted March 28, 2007 G.O. to MPC: And this, my good man, is Alcatraz. MPC to G.O.: Damn, I picked the wrong side - again! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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