Ursus Posted December 14, 2006 Report Share Posted December 14, 2006 A woman on North 24th Avenue told police her ex-boyfriend was sending her dirty text messages. The ex-boyfriend told police he was receiving harassing phone calls from her. Both of them were told to leave each other alone. A man defecated on his father's vehicle along South Black Avenue. A deputy stopped to check on a vehicle pulled over on the interstate. The driver stopped his car to talk on his cell phone. The deputy praised the man for being safe and stopping his car to talk on the phone. A disgruntled employee defecated in a bag and set in near his job trailer in Cobblestone subdivision. The disgruntled employee then set the poop on fire. A teenager on Driftwood Drive was upset with his parents for making him work all the time. They also don't pay him for the chores. The boy was told to listen to his parents. There were some cows at large on Jackrabbit Lane Sunday. A man witnessed a cat and pigeon fighting on South Sixth Avenue and took the pigeon home after deciding the fight was unfair. Deputies assisted a disoriented motorist on Interstate 90 who pulled his vehicle into a ditch while wearing no pants, one sock and sunglasses at night. A rabid squirrel, foaming at the mouth, chased a man on South Third Avenue Sunday. The squirrel was not located. A man threw up on a dancer at a Gallatin Road strip club Thursday. A sick looking gopher was reported on West Main Street. The caller was concerned the animal might "jump out and eat someone." Police could not find the sick animal. A dog escaped a kennel on Amsterdam Road Sunday. The dog was corralled, kenneled and warned. A door was damaged on a Reese Creek Road home and a caller said a gopher definitely didn't do it. A woman who attempted to destroy a marijuana bong was cited for possession of drug paraphernalia. A man was running behind the Law and Justice Center. Police stopped him and found out he was just jogging. Officers responded to a 911 call from a woman on High Ridge Road and said two attackers were in her home holding a knife to her throat and hitting her repeatedly. She said the attackers stole "beanie babies" according to the report. When sheriff's deputies arrived they found the woman in the house alone, with no marks on her and found nothing was taken. The women, who was heavily intoxicated, then admitted to making the story up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Antiochus of Seleucia Posted December 14, 2006 Report Share Posted December 14, 2006 Nothing interesting happens where I live. Well, sometimes there is, but it is usually bad, and happens to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ursus Posted December 14, 2006 Author Report Share Posted December 14, 2006 But what kind of world do we live in when a mad squirrel can terrorize the populace and get away with it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pertinax Posted December 14, 2006 Report Share Posted December 14, 2006 But what kind of world do we live in when a mad squirrel can terrorize the populace and get away with it? And a crazed gopher is still at large... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Primus Pilus Posted December 14, 2006 Report Share Posted December 14, 2006 A man defecated on his father's vehicle along South Black Avenue. A disgruntled employee defecated in a bag and set in near his job trailer in Cobblestone subdivision. The disgruntled employee then set the poop on fire. Poop crimes. A dangerously growing trend in Bozeman. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pantagathus Posted December 14, 2006 Report Share Posted December 14, 2006 This post makes me think of something I read every week here in Atlanta: The Blotter: Bizarre Crimes from Atlanta Police Reports Crackheads are always good for a laugh... AN OFFICER responded to a call about a burning car on Luckie Street. When the officer arrived, a man refused to step away from the burning car. Eventually, more police showed up, and the man walked across the street. Once the fire was out, the parking-lot attendant asked police to remove the man from the lot. The man said he was a cop killer and threatened to kill an officer. The man tried to punch another officer. A police wagon showed up, and the man fell trying to get inside. He hit his head on the wagon's corner. According to the police report, the man started spitting on police officers. Then, he drank some of his own blood from the asphalt and spit his blood onto an officer. The man, age 39, went to jail for disorderly conduct under the influence. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Primus Pilus Posted December 14, 2006 Report Share Posted December 14, 2006 From the Blotter: The officer asked, "Why were you fighting on the dance floor?" All the man could say was they wouldn't let his girlfriend use the bathroom. If there was ever a time to stand your ground and fight, surely this must be it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pertinax Posted December 14, 2006 Report Share Posted December 14, 2006 Can someone clarify the size of the gopher please? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pantagathus Posted December 14, 2006 Report Share Posted December 14, 2006 Can someone clarify the size of the gopher please? Plains Pocket Gopher Makes me think of in Oh Brother Where Art Thou?... Delmar: "Care for some gopher"? Everett: "No thank you, Delmar. One third of a gopher would only arouse my appetite without bedding it down" Delmar: "Oh, you can have the whole thing. Me and Pete already had one apiece. We ran across a whole... gopher village." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pertinax Posted December 14, 2006 Report Share Posted December 14, 2006 Puzzling, so only a very small person could actually be eaten by a gopher? Unless they work as a heist team. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Germanicus Posted December 14, 2006 Report Share Posted December 14, 2006 A police wagon showed up, and the man fell trying to get inside. He hit his head on the wagon's corner. yeah....right. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaius Octavius Posted December 25, 2006 Report Share Posted December 25, 2006 (edited) Motto of Montana: "Where men are men and sheeps beware!" Don't you ever have anything exciting happen out there in Boozeman? Cops putting neat little holes in unwary citizens? Bank jobs? Exceptionally tall buildings come tumbling down? Civil rights marches? Subway strikes? Bomb scares? My Lord of the Herbs, don't let these colonials pull the wool over your eyes. A gopher is someone who gets coffee for the boss. Inedible. Come in different sizes. National Anthem of Montana: I come from Montana, I wear a banana, My spurs are of silver, my pony is gay. While riding the ranges, my luck never changes, With my feets in the stirrups, I gallops away. Edited December 25, 2006 by Gaius Octavius Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaius Octavius Posted December 27, 2006 Report Share Posted December 27, 2006 (edited) Nothing interesting happens where I live.Well, sometimes there is, but it is usually bad, and happens to me. Well, whadyewant? How about blowing the burgh City Shack into tooth picks? I could have the head of the rackets in your parts render that 'service'. Bump off all of your enemies? - for a small fee - of course. Puzzling, so only a very small person could actually be eaten by a gopher? Unless they work as a heist team. Notice how His Lordship :notworthy: , is taking to Brookfordshiresexinghamese? Must be the Earl's good influence. A couple of questions: Have Montanans put a decent floor in the Field House at MSU (Bowzmann) yet? Have y'all put a roof back on at Chico Hot Springs? Is Butte still on the proper side of the Earth's crust? Has pizza replaced Butte Pasty's yet? -_- Edited December 27, 2006 by Gaius Octavius Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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