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The Monty Python Thread


jugurtha

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With Jug and PP on board it was obvious that at some stage the Monty Pythons would be mentioned, so to honor those brilliant dudes i split it it and dedicate them its own thread.

 

This thread is for Jug, PP and everyone else who thinks that Monty Python rocks.

:)

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I thought it is appropriate to post here the sketch that gave the email spam the name.

 

here it goes.

Spam Sketch

 

The Spam Sketch from the second series of "Monty Python's Flying Circus" and

"Monty Python's Previous Record"

 

(Spam = Spiced Pork And Ham, a sort of cheap luncheon meat)

 

Scene: A cafe. One table is occupied by a group of Vikings with horned

helmets on. A man and his wife enter.

 

Man (Eric Idle): You sit here, dear.

Wife (Graham Chapman in drag): All right.

Man (to Waitress): Morning!

Waitress (Terry Jones, in drag as a bit of a rat-bag): Morning!

Man: Well, what've you got?

Waitress: Well, there's egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and spam;

egg bacon and spam; egg bacon sausage and spam; spam bacon sausage

and spam; spam egg spam spam bacon and spam; spam sausage spam spam

bacon spam tomato and spam;

Vikings (starting to chant): Spam spam spam spam...

Waitress: ...spam spam spam egg and spam; spam spam spam spam spam spam baked

beans spam spam spam...

Vikings (singing): Spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam!

Waitress: ...or Lobster Thermidor a Crevette with a mornay sauce served in a

Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with

truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and spam.

Wife: Have you got anything without spam?

Waitress: Well, there's spam egg sausage and spam, that's not got much spam in

it.

Wife: I don't want ANY spam!

Man: Why can't she have egg bacon spam and sausage?

Wife: THAT'S got spam in it!

Man: Hasn't got as much spam in it as spam egg sausage and spam, has it?

Vikings: Spam spam spam spam (crescendo through next few lines)

Wife: Could you do the egg bacon spam and sausage without the spam then?

Waitress: Urgghh!

Wife: What do you mean 'Urgghh'? I don't like spam!

Vikings: Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!)

Waitress: Shut up!

Vikings: Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!

Waitress: Shut up! (Vikings stop) Bloody Vikings! You can't have egg bacon

spam and sausage without the spam.

Wife (shrieks): I don't like spam!

Man: Sshh, dear, don't cause a fuss. I'll have your spam. I love it.

I'm having spam spam spam spam spam spam spam beaked beans spam spam

spam and spam!

Vikings (singing): Spam spam spam spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!

Waitress: Shut up!! Baked beans are off.

Man: Well could I have her spam instead of the baked beans then?

Waitress: You mean spam spam spam spam spam spam... (but it is too late and

the Vikings drown her words)

Vikings (singing elaborately): Spam spam spam spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful

spam! Spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam. Lovely spam!

Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Spam spam

spam spam!

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  • 3 weeks later...

Controversy around the new Mel Gibson Flick THE PASSION OF CHRIST has brought about a fresh theatre release of the Python cult movie THE LIFE OF BRIAN! Teasers already offer potential moviegoers the choice between "the Passion or the Python?" So far the release is only planned for the US I believe.

 

I think this re-release is really only for those who REALLY like the Pythons. If you DO decide to go however, be prepared for the hardliners to shout some excellent oneliners even before they hit the screen! (remember the stage shows!) ;) You might be in for a load of fun though! :D (bring some beers!)

 

On a personal note I'd like to add that this would mean a final closure on the controversy that surrounded the movie - for the Pythons themselves that is. The Pythons had always been very clear that the movie was not about Christ but about a poor sod who is mistaken for the Messiah. Jesus actually appears briefly at the beginning of the movie. This is however not the way church officials and some fanatics saw it, with all known consequences (poor Michael Palin).

 

On the other hand, this could just be a stunt and we might see the Pythons come into action to prevent this from happening.

 

- JUG

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  • 4 weeks later...

CENTURION:

What's this, then? 'Romanes Eunt Domus'? 'People called Romanes they go the house'?

BRIAN:

It-- it says, 'Romans, go home'.

CENTURION:

No, it doesn't. What's Latin for 'Roman'? Come on!

BRIAN:

Aah!

CENTURION:

Come on!

BRIAN:

'R-- Romanus'?

CENTURION:

Goes like...?

BRIAN:

'Annus'?

CENTURION:

Vocative plural of 'annus' is...?

BRIAN:

Eh. 'Anni'?

CENTURION:

'Romani'. 'Eunt'? What is 'eunt'?

BRIAN:

'Go'. Let--

CENTURION:

Conjugate the verb 'to go'.

BRIAN:

Uh. 'Ire'. Uh, 'eo'. 'Is'. 'It'. 'Imus'. 'Itis'. 'Eunt'.

CENTURION:

So 'eunt' is...?

BRIAN:

Ah, huh, third person plural, uh, present indicative. Uh, 'they go'.

CENTURION:

But 'Romans, go home' is an order, so you must use the...?

BRIAN:

The... imperative!

CENTURION:

Which is...?

BRIAN:

Umm! Oh. Oh. Um, 'i'. 'I'!

CENTURION:

How many Romans?

BRIAN:

Ah! 'I'-- Plural. Plural. 'Ite'. 'Ite'.

CENTURION:

'Ite'.

BRIAN:

Ah. Eh.

CENTURION:

'Domus'?

BRIAN:

Eh.

CENTURION:

Nominative?

BRIAN:

Oh.

CENTURION:

'Go home'? This is motion towards. Isn't it, boy?

BRIAN:

Ah. Ah, dative, sir! Ahh! No, not dative! Not the dative, sir! No! Ah! Oh, the... accusative! Accusative! Ah! 'Domum', sir! 'Ad domum'! Ah! Oooh! Ah!

CENTURION:

Except that 'domus' takes the...?

BRIAN:

The locative, sir!

CENTURION:

Which is...?!

BRIAN:

'Domum'.

CENTURION:

'Domum'.

BRIAN:

Aaah! Ah.

CENTURION:

'Um'. Understand?

BRIAN:

Yes, sir.

CENTURION:

Now, write it out a hundred times.

BRIAN:

Yes, sir. Thank you, sir. Hail Caesar, sir.

CENTURION:

Hail Caesar. If it's not done by sunrise, I'll cut your balls off.

BRIAN:

Oh, thank you, sir. Thank you, sir. Hail Caesar and everything, sir! Oh. Mmm!

 

Aaron

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