Clovis and the beginning of France

[dnewhous]

The French kingdom may not have started until the reign of Hugh Capet because that's when the Duchy of Franconia entered into the French kingdom.  That's too late for a beginning of the dark ages.  IIRC, I think the answer that I once put on a test and got right was the death of Childeric I, Clovis I father.  Why that?  Because that's when Clovis I started on the rampage.  That would be 481 AD.  I was graded on the event, not the year.  The National Geographic world history book implicitly chooses the death of Childeric I, saying that in 481 the Franks had a new king. 

The headings here are Gregory’s.

"Clovis Becomes King (II 27) On Childeric’s death [a. 481/82, at Tournai], his son Clovis reigned in his place."

Gregory of Tours: The Merovingians: 10 (Readings in Medieval Civilizations and Cultures) . University of Toronto Press, Higher Education Division. Kindle Edition.

There is a reprint of a letter written to him to congratulate him from the Catholic church.

LETTER OF BISHOP REMIGIUS OF RHEIMS TO CLOVIS, a. 481/2 In 481 or 482, at the time of his succession to the kingship of his father, Clovis was still a boy, probably of fifteen. There were other kings of the Franks at the time. The following letter is best dated to Clovis’s succession, but some would date it following his defeat of Syagrius in 486 (below, 46, c. 27). The author of the letter, Bishop Remigius, was metropolitan of Belgica secunda. Bishop of Rheims for over seventy years (ca. 458-ca. 532), Remigius outlived Clovis by two decades; he is also the author of a letter on the occasion of the death of the king’s sister (40, below) and another letter that dates just after the king’s death (44, below). A letter that Remigius received from Sidonius Apollinaris is also extant (37.21). Source: Epistolae Austrasicae, no. 2, ed. W. Grundlach, MGH Epistolae 3: Epistolae Merowingici et Karolini Aevi, with Emendata by Bruno Krusch, pp. 719-20; reprinted (and re-edited in conformity with Krusch’s emendations) in CCSL 117, ed. Henri Rochais. Translation by A.C. Murray. Bishop Remigius to the noted lord, greatly esteemed for his merits, King Clovis. Great news has reached us that you have taken up the administration of Belgica secunda. It is no surprise that you have begun to be as your parents ever were. You, who have already reached the very top by the practise of humility, must see to it through your merit that God’s favorable judgment does not turn from you, for, as the saying goes, the deeds of a man are tested.

From Roman to Merovingian Gaul: A Reader (Readings in Medieval Civilizations and Cultures) . University of Toronto Press, Higher Education Division. Kindle Edition.

 

"In the third quarter of the fifth century the most important of the Frankish chiefs of the Merovingian line was a prince of the Salians, named Childerich, who dwelt at Tournay, and ruled in the valley of the upper Scheldt. He died in 481, leaving his throne to his sixteen-year-old son and heir, a prince named Chlodovech or Chlodwig, who was destined to found the great Frankish kingdom, by extinguishing the other Frankish principalities, and conquering"

Oman, Charles. The Dark Ages 476-918 A.D. (p. 40). Augustine Books. Kindle Edition.

 

What about the legality of his claim?  Precisely because Clovis I ended up inheriting a title from his father in law and not his father, this worth looking into.  Salic law was first issued while Clovis I was an adult.  What was the legal system that Clovis I's father was living under?

"The Frankish period is rich in legal sources, though these are frequently beset with major problems of interpretation. A number of law codes were in use in one way or another in the Merovingian kingdom: the Breviary of Alaric (a version of the Theo-dosian Code, cf. 32), the Burgundian Code (first issued by King Gundobad), the Salic Law, the Ribvarian Law; and beyond the Rhine, in the seventh and eighth centuries, Alamannian and Bavarian codes."

From Roman to Merovingian Gaul: A Reader (Readings in Medieval Civilizations and Cultures) . University of Toronto Press, Higher Education Division. Kindle Edition.

 

Burgundian law will tell us whether his father in law may leave his Burgundian title to his son in law.  

Again, what were the laws for his father?

 

Now, Clovis I title may have changed when coronated in 509

"In 509 (A.D.) he was elected king by the Ripuarians, and raised upon a shield in the city of Cologne, according to the Frankish custom, amid general acclamation. "And thus, said Gregory of Tours, " God daily prostrated his enemies before him and increased his kingdom, because he walked before him with an upright heart, and did what was pleasing in his eyes!" — so completely did his services to the Catholic Church conceal his moral deformities from the eyes of even the best of the ecclesiastical historians."

Collection, .. Clovis . Editions Le Mono. Kindle Edition.

Interestingly, you can look up events for each year from 481 to 509, what leaps out is that 509 is the death of Chlodoric, the old king of the Ripuarian Franks.

Manoralism started during late antiquity and there's no reference to feudalism in medieval documents until after Hugh Capet, so I don't think anything epoch changing happened between Childeric's death and Clovis's coronation.  

"The term "feudal" or "feodal" is derived from the medieval Latin word feodum. The etymology of feodum is complex with multiple theories, some suggesting a Germanic origin (the most widely held view) and others suggesting an Arabic origin. Initially in medieval Latin European documents, a land grant in exchange for service was called a beneficium (Latin).[ 16] Later, the term feudum, or feodum, began to replace beneficium in the documents.[ 16] The first attested instance of this is from 984, although more primitive..."

Wikipedia contributors. Focus On: Feudalism: Feudalism, Prince, Serfdom, Nobility, Lord, Peasant, Emirate, Charter, Manorialism, Motte-and-bailey Castle, etc. (Kindle Locations 177-184). Focus On. Kindle Edition. 

So basically feudalism started after the fall of the Carolingian Empire.

 

Curiously, IIRC, the title of the French king in the 100 years war is "Prince de Paris."   Currently, it is the name of a restaurant in Casablanca.  Did Clovis have control of Paris?  

With a closer reading of the wikipedia,

"Clovis I united all the Frankish petty kingdoms as well as most of Roman Gaul under his rule, conquering the Domain of Soissons of the Roman general Syagrius as well as the Visigothic Kingdom of Toulouse. He took his seat at Paris, which along with Soissons, Reims, Metz, and Orléans became the chief residences. Upon his death, the kingdom was split among his four sons."

So, yes he did have control of Paris. 

Note, in the books Dark Ages and History of France when it refers to the emperor it means the eastern, Byzantine emperor.  

On to the origin of the Basilica of Saint-Denis:

"Dagobert I who, as every French schoolboy knows, put on his trousers inside out.* But he also did a good deal more. In 630 or thereabouts he annexed Alsace, the Vosges and the Ardennes, creating a new duchy, and he made Paris his capital. Though his debaucheries were famous – hence the perfectly idiotic little song – he was deeply religious and founded the Basilica of Saint-Denis, in which he was the first French king to be buried."

Norwich, John Julius. A History of France (p. 30). Grove Atlantic. Kindle Edition.

According to the wikipedia

"The Basilica of Saint-Denis (French: Basilique royale de Saint-Denis, or simply Basilique Saint-Denis) is a large medieval abbey church in the city of Saint-Denis, now a northern suburb of Paris. The building is of singular importance historically and architecturally as its choir, completed in 1144, shows the first use of all of the elements of Gothic architecture.^{[citation needed]}

"The site originated as a Gallo-Roman cemetery in late Roman times. The archaeological remains still lie beneath the cathedral; the people buried there seem to have had a faith that was a mix of Christian and pre-Christian beliefs and practices.^[1] Around 475 St. Genevieve purchased some land and built Saint-Denys de la Chapelle. In 636 on the orders of Dagobert I the relics of Saint Denis, a patron saint of France, were reinterred in the basilica. The relics of St-Denis, which had been transferred to the parish church of the town in 1795, were brought back again to the abbey in 1819."

Now I remember his title on his tomb is prince of the Bergundians, a title he took from his father in law.

Brittannica comments

"His baptism is considered one of the formative dates in French history. For Catholics, he was the first major Germanic Catholic king, and Pope John Paul II celebrated a mass in Reims in 1996 in honour of the 15th centenary of his baptism."

 

Now his marriage:

"Clovis Marries Chlothild (II 28) Another king at the time was Gundioc, king of the Burgundians [a. 455–73/74?], from the lineage of that [Gothic] persecutor [of Christians] Athanaric [† 381]. He had four sons: Gundobad, Godigisel, Chilperic, and Godomar. Gundobad put his brother Chilperic to the sword, tied a stone around the neck of Chilperic’s wife, and drowned her. He sentenced her two daughters to exile. The elder of the daughters was called Crona; she put on the habit of a religious. The name of the younger was Chlothild."

Gregory of Tours: The Merovingians: 10 (Readings in Medieval Civilizations and Cultures) . University of Toronto Press, Higher Education Division. Kindle Edition.

 

As to his royal title, the first French king in Paris to have control of the Duchy of Franconia is Hugh Capet.  That's well after Charlemagne.

 

Clovis's title needs to be enumerated

title after birth

title after father's death

title after marriage

title after baptism

title after coronation in 509 by the Ripuarians

title at tomb in Paris

 

1) prince of the Salian Franks

2) king of the Salian Franks

3) ????

4) ????

5) ????

6) prince of the Bergundians, which I remember from a history textbook from Stingley elementary.

Also, there was a climactic battle between Clovis I and the Byzantine emperor.  IIRC they fought one on one and the Byzantine emperor had the victory.

Clovis I was married before he was baptized, and his first child by his wife died.

"Now the king of the Burgundians was Gundevech, of the family of king Athanaric the persecutor, whom we have mentioned before. He had four sons; Gundobad, Godegisel, Chilperic and Godomar. Gundobad killed his brother Chilperic with the sword, and sank his wife in water with a stone tied to her neck. His two daughters he condemned to exile; the older of these, who became a nun, was called Chrona, and the younger Clotilda. And as Clovis often sent embassies to Burgundy, the maiden Clotilda was found by his envoys. And when they saw that she was of good bearing and wise, and learned that she was of the family of the king, they reported this to King Clovis, and he sent an embassy to Gundobad without delay asking her in marriage. And Gundobad was afraid to refuse, and surrendered her to the men, and they took the girl and brought her swiftly to the king. The king was very glad when he saw her, and married her, having already by a concubine a son named Theodoric."

Gregory of Tours. A History of the Franks (p. 41). Neeland Media LLC. Kindle Edition.

"In the meantime, the faithful queen presented her son for baptism and had the church adorned with hangings and drapery, so that he who could not be prevailed upon by instruction might more readily be brought to believe by this mystery. The boy was baptized and called Ingomer, but he died, still wearing the white robes of his baptism. The king as a result became bitter and was not slow to reproach the queen."

Gregory of Tours: The Merovingians: 10 (Readings in Medieval Civilizations and Cultures) . University of Toronto Press, Higher Education Division. Kindle Edition.

From Britannica: "Gregory places Clovis’s baptism in 496 and characterizes his subsequent battles as Christian victories, particularly the engagement with the Visigoths in 507 that has long been identified with Vouillé but now is believed to have occurred at Voulon near Poitiers, France. Gregory portrays the Visigothic war as a campaign against Arian heresy. "

Now to really confuse the issue there's a quote from Pharamund to Clovis I that says the qualifiers on the names are wrong

"This is another merger of the bloodlines
Clovis (466-511AD) who became King of the Salian Franks at the age of 15, was also an Roman official.
FIRST FRANKISH KINGS
Kings of the Salian Franks
Pharamund (370-430 AD)
Clodion (395-448 AD)
Mérovée (411-458 AD)
Childeric II (437- 481 AD)  Clovis (466-511 AD) 2"

of Antrustions, Order. From Pharamund to Clovis: History of a Sacred Bloodline (pp. 13-14). UNKNOWN. Kindle Edition.

So, in addition to the possibility of the Dark Ages starting with the death of Childeric I, there are three related events.  His final title, prince of the Bergundians, came from his father in law,  the king of the Bergundians.  I remember being taught that the decision on when the dark ages starts is made by historians, not the pope.  However, a papal bull on the issue might still be informative.

The Roman emperor tried to get rid of Clovis by stripping of his title in multiple steps.  He betrayed the empire with his victory at Soissons.  He also strangled his first bastard son and first legitimate son to death.  Making him unholy.

ex-communion - Clovis I strangling his eldest son to death

imposition - the Roman emperor stripping Clovis I of his title of the king of the Salian Franks

the ban of ???? - banning any progeny of Clovis I from the French monarchy - was this a joint act of the French nobility?  I remember they had to reconvene the Nicene Council.

 

I believe the text from Stingley leaned towards ex-communion as the start of the dark ages.  I would say it were the imposition.

This material came up because the instructor subjectively asked me, "how'd Clovis lose?"

Dear God, Ben Russell thought we were talking about how we lost Vietnam.

 

What came up was the meaning of legitimate children.  Some thought that legitimate children were produced asexually, which shocked me.

Thus, we quoted Bill Cosby himself, "natural child birth."

Macbeth, "

Be bloody, bold, and resolute: laugh to scorn
The power of man, for none of woman born
Shall harm Macbeth."

Shakespeare, William. Macbeth (p. 84). Global Publishers. Kindle Edition. 

 

"Despair thy charm,
And let the angel whom thou still hast served
Tell thee, Macduff was from his mother’s womb
Untimely ripp’d."

Shakespeare, William. Macbeth (pp. 127-128). Global Publishers. Kindle Edition. 

A discussion of caesarian section. 

In the Epic of Gilgamesh, Enkidu is made from clay and I'm not sure that was mentioned.

 

"The goddess Aruru, she washed her hands, took a pinch of clay, threw it down in the wild. In the wild she created Enkidu, the hero, offspring of silence, knit strong by Ninurta."

Penguin Classics. The Epic of Gilgamesh (Penguin Classics) (p. 4). Penguin Books Ltd. Kindle Edition. 

Edited December 28, 2023 by dnewhous

[dnewhous]

I think the year of ex-communion is 483.

About Hugh Capet's coronation:

"The Carolingians limped on until the death, in May 987 as the result of an accident while hunting in the forest of Senlis, of Louis V the Lazy – or, as the French call him when they mention him at all, le Fainéant, the do-nothing. Since he left no legitimate offspring, the lords of France met to elect his successor. There were two candidates for the crown. The first was the Carolingian Duke Charles of Lower Lorraine; the second was Hugh Capet,† a great-grandson of Robert the Strong. According to the principle of heredity, Charles was obviously the legitimate king; but at an early stage of the proceedings the Archbishop of Rouen made his preference clear: ‘The throne’, he thundered, ‘is not acquired by hereditary right; he who is elected to it should be distinguished not merely by the nobility of his birth but by the wisdom of his mind.’ His words were heeded, and Hugh Capet was awarded the crown of France. It was, as he must have known perfectly well, a poisoned chalice. For a start, he was surrounded by a number of great feudal lords – the Dukes of Anjou, Aquitaine and (more recently) Normandy, the Counts of Flanders and Blois – who had risen up over the past century and who considered themselves every bit as worthy of the supreme power as he was himself. Had they combined against him he could not have raised a finger in his own defence. In the south, the crown was hardly recognised at all; there the Count of Toulouse was far more respected than the king could ever be. Hugh’s subjects did not even share a common language; Celtic was spoken in Brittany, German along his eastern borders, Flemish to the north, the langue d’oc in Provence and Aquitaine, to say nothing of at least a dozen dialects across the country. What did the king have on his side? It helped, of course, to have been unanimously elected; but above all he had the Church. And the Church gave him all it had got, including probably the most elaborate and impressive coronation service it had ever mounted. The oil with which Hugh was anointed – not just on the forehead but on various other parts of his body as well – was, it was claimed, the same as used by St Remigius to anoint Clovis five centuries before, when it had been brought down by a dove from heaven. After his consecration the king took communion in both kinds, and when he stepped out of the Cathedral of Noyon* into the sunshine, the crown radiant on his head, he must have seemed to many of those present a semi-divine being. He was almost certainly the first of the French kings to be credited with the power of curing scrofula (‘the king’s evil’) – a miracle which he is said to have performed on many occasions. Yet never for a minute could Hugh Capet have felt like a king. Between Paris and Orléans he possessed towns and estates extending over four hundred square miles; there were also a couple of small properties near Angers and Chartres. But nowhere else in France was it safe for him to travel; to do so would have been to risk almost certain capture, and though his life might perhaps have been spared he was sure to be held to ransom – quite probably in extremely unpleasant conditions. ‘Charlemagne’s successor’, remarked a contemporary, ‘did not dare leave home.’ It was doubtless this uncertainty, this constant feeling of living a lie, that prevented him from ever calling himself King of France; nor indeed did any of his successors do so until Philip Augustus at the end of the twelfth century. ‘King of the Franks’ – Roi des Francs – was the title with which he was crowned; and King of the Franks he remained."

Norwich, John Julius. A History of France (pp. 41-43). Grove Atlantic. Kindle Edition.

This is why we should all take Latin - if I'm not mistaken "Roi des Francs" is not a very good title.  To indicate full sovereignty the title needs to be "rex du...."

I remember two textbook related problems in freshman world history 1) The text had the publication of the History of the King of the Britons off by two years, the correct year is 1138.  We had to get a first press and look at the inside cover.  2) The instructor did not have a teacher's version of the book, instead relying on lecture notes from Wendell Holmes, the instructor from the community college.  A real instructor's version is 15 times the cost of the student version.  Now I do remember, we had one until Corine Sims decided to read about the fall of the Roman empire herself; she was so unhappy with it she had the teacher's version banned.

Since there were accusations of widespread cheating in history education the reformers thought they could improve the value of history education by requiring the signature of an independent grader to validate the grade.  When the instructor thought he could regrade and sign a valid grade under pressure from the students who missed the question; reform fell apart.  He wouldn't stand by the answers the grader considered correct, because, and I forgot the simple explanation, they would have to admit the graders weren't butt ugly.

I'm not sure how members of the public got into the classroom.

The test question I beat Jason Jeffreys on for the first exam was one where "mesolithic" was the right answer and I think it had to do with homes with wooden frames without solid walls.  He gesticulated when he understood why "mesolithic" was the right answer, from my explanation, and lay prone on his desk.

The textbook explained that the subdivision of the stone age is the responsibility of anthropologists.  I have confirmed this by skimming anthropology for dummies.  We had a classroom discussion where Adrianne Candia took the lead in desiring to throw the term "mesolthic" out and use "chacolithic" instead.

At one point instructor Alan L Dobson said "I want to kill whoever thought of the word 'mesolithic!'"

The big issue on the first test was the beginning of the middle ages.  I remember that he insisted that the coronation at Rheims in 496 could not be it.  That left the death of Childeric II as the answer, not the ascension of Clovis I to the throne.  The death of a father is not a sin, so it can be the beginning of a Christian era, that's an interpretation from Gary Anderson.  That has been grosely misinterpreted as to suggest gifted students should be chaste.  Which is why staff, members of the public, and remedial students have no place in a classroom like that.   I remember at one point Jackie Banks had to put a gun to my freshman English teacher's head to restore order.

Gary Anderson was certainly supposed to be there for, well, a high ranking religious opinion.  Gary Anderson is the guy who should have been teaching at Mancini Music.  The reason I chose him is they wanted a religious opinion higher than the archangel Michael.  Is that why Ben was there?  I don't know how NHS got that stupid.

I remember a discussion with Peter Freeman about whether Robin Hood was real.  Well, there is a gravestone and it appears he is real but he didn't do anything exciting like marry Maid Marion.  Peter thought that Ben would be the perfect man to talk about history because he would tell a moral story.  That is one without sex in it.

Once he was in class Ben said that WWII didn't really happen (I have no idea how it came up).  He said someone said, "Gah!"  Julie Walner pointed out he knew someone said "Gah!" therefore he knows history.  You see, you are supposed to know history to give a liturgy.  You are also supposed to be ordained.  You also aren't qualified to give one unless you are the Roman emperor, the king of England, Daniel Webster, saint Michael (Roy E Lancaster), or chosen by him.   Roy Lancaster chose me to give the liturgy that made it my divine right.

Another reason Ben was chosen - someone asked what is the source for these things (meaning history or the texbook) and Ben replied "my ma."  Making him a moral and historical expert for all time.  This could also come with confusion with the grader's name, "Marissa N Martin."

He considered the liturgy (the book) about the fall of Rome unholy.  The book was written by the Roman emperor at the time; that's a damnable offense.

A point worth noting - most historical sources were written by the Roman emperor.

Roy E Lancaster said to that "That's not fair Daniel..."

Also, the man who asked Ben that question assumed Ben was smarter than I because he looked nerdier.  I didn't get a chance to answer the question myself.  He assumed that all nerds have bad grades because Ben has them.

Ben also suggest "my ma" is where babies come from.

 

The recurring question over what is the beginning of the middle ages seamed to frequently be misinterpreted as asking for the age of manhood of a monarch?  16, according to the textbook.  But the historically important coronation of Clovis found in "Clovis" appears to be at Rheims when he was 30.

Jason Jeffreys seamed to support instructor re-grading even though he got the answer right.  Here's the problem with instructor regrading, it creates two right answers.  This makes the students with the original correct answer look like liars.  I didn't get a regrade, I think the instructor actually offered me to change my answer and I wouldn't do it, because I wouldn't participate in his falsification of history.  Jason did get a regrade.  The answer the instructor decided upon was "Temujin."

Embarrassingly enough, the grader's name was Marissa N Martin.  When I was supposed to read back the name of the grader to the instructor, my father's thumb was covering most of her name, leaving "ma" exposed.  She was a Student Resource Officer.  That is, a student employee.

The thing is - conservatives think that having a grader co-sign a grade to ensure authenticity is impossible because none of themselves knows the answers to those test questions anyway (the conservatives are usually the average and remedial teachers that like to encroach on the gifted program because they are "cool" or something).  I don't remember exactly who ventured this explanation, but it is the most important one.

What compounded all the problems was the presence of Kelly S McMahon, 

Corine Sims interjected a comment that if you are looking for a grader it must be Kelly because gifted students are always fat, viewing gifted students like "Gorillas in the Mist."  This woman said that without any experience with gifted students!  Teachers of gifted students outrank all staff members so she was in over her head and didn't recognize it.  It was a revolt of the remedial teachers against lawful authority.  We are looking for a gifted student. Our scientific theories said she must be fat.  Look at this girl right here!  With the revolt of the remedial teachers (proof that they revolted, Mrs Graves went from remedial economics to AP economics and is absolutely not qualified for that material) it stuck.  Kelly, a terror who would go around trying to scribble a "0" on my exams or write an essay for me.  

I compared my first exam to the answer key, which the instructor had given me to review.  I don't really remember getting anything other than 100 in that class anymore.  The problem with the answer key is that people thought it was a workbook.   The answer key looks like a workbook.  Carol A Freeman took it off my desk and said it was a remedial textbook.  The instructor, Alan L Dobson lied and said that's what it was. 

Oh, dear.  At one point I was reading the answers aloud from the answer key as the instructor had asked.  Corine Sims, took it, inspected it, and took it.  The reputation that I make things up comes from the answer key.  In college Kelly S McMahon waved it in my face and it was called the "book of lies."

Now I remember, with my grade reduced to 99, Steve Spade said I should take responsibility.  Like I should take a '0' because the rest of the class was misled?  Once I was reduced to a 99, I became prey to the redneck riviera.

I couldn't be a real grader because I was forced to regrade one of Ben's 8th grade tests to a 100, making me ethics questionable.

Also, one unattractive girl asked "Can we argue?" The one in cross country.  I said "no."  This is after grades had been returned by the grader and Jason and I were the only ones to get a question or several of them correct.  Becky Bilovecky, a friend from Ohio pointed out that the girl who asked the question was such a bad student she couldn't believe she was talking.  She admitted that the idea was crap.  For some reason, Steve Spade thought that was the right answer!  Jane Garrett criticized Becky as being a horrible student.  She said she wouldn't be allowed at the front of the classroom unless she were a terrible student.  I don't remember her at the front of the classroom.  I do remember her comments a little bit.

To wit of Becky's presence.  There is some question about the source for Clovis I's title, which is obscure.  I think he ended is reign "Prince of the Burgundians."  I explained the source as a table from a history textbook from Stingley.  The conservatives tried to counterexplain that tables come from math textbooks.  Fortunately, the math book from the same year did explain that tables are used in history textbooks.  I think it was 3rd grade.  Becky was from Ohio to bring the books.

There were a couple of other issues that bothered the students throughout the year.  One was the issue of Marco Polo and what was said to Kublai Khan.  Another was the name of Tamerlane as the ruler with the cursed tomb.  His tomb is called the Gur-e-Amir and I got that from Britannica.  A recurring problem was that the graders (I think they were Student Resource Officers) were prettier than Bridget Bardot, thus making it hard for people to believe they knew the material as well as they did.

K, now I remember I started with the answer "Casimir IV Jagiellon", and did change to "Tamerlane" after the argument about the correct answer in order to maintain my grade of 100.  Especially since Kelly crimped my ear.

Next thing I was trying to describe what was in a Marco Polo movie, which I thought would be beyond the emotional maturity of the class.  It came up because I thought Tamerlane was the first Ottoman emperor, and then people pointed out that would make him a vassal of the Mongol emperor, which brought up Marco Polo.  I called the mission an "embassy" and some people had a cow.   This movie is no longer available on Amazon.  There's a B/W old movie and a newer one (1975) that is a martial arts flick.  The one with gravitas had Marco Polo asking Kublai Khan for "deliverance of heaven."  Due to a threat, which I think came from Warren Russell, Ben Russell proceeded to punch me in the face and say "lies" until I mangled the line to "deliverance from heaven."  "Deliverance of heaven" implies heaven is in danger and they need Kublai Khan's help.  "Deliverance from heaven" implies that heaven is after them and they personally need help from being slain by angels or something ridiculous.   I am not sure whether the class's lack of emotional maturing got into a discussion of sex, which I was hoping to avoid because it is a side track.  I will say, letting staff, members of the public, and remedial students into a gifted class is a disaster.

I wouldn't bother bringing up the Marco Polo movie if it weren't for totally inane discussion of "deliverance of heaven" vs "deliverance from heaven."  He is asking for deliverance from Muslim/Ottoman invasion.

This is the problem with the Russells and the remedial teachers; they think if there are religious issues involved it is fine to accuse everything of being satanic.  I will tell  you, Kublai Khan accepted neither Marco Polo nor Roy Lancaster as the leader of Christianity.  It eventually comes around to Marco Polo to invoke the prayer.

I remember being confronted by the police.  The instructor had asked me to stand up, and I don't remember why.  I had already received a 100.  They accused me of complaining about the answers!  And told me to change one of them!  So I didn't have 100 anymore.  Or did I?  I'm not sure what was decided, but in a situation like this you should basically take two different answers as correct at the same time - that's the right way to override the grader, which really shouldn't be done anyway.

Then came accusations that Christina B Maxwell the re-regrader was a satanist because she was good looking.  I pointed out that Kelly S  McMahon was the only one I knew who was a satanist.  That's why I'm glad for the overturning of Roe v Wade, now we can be honest, sometimes fat women are the bad guys.

Why did we need a re-regrader?  It started when Kelly S McMahon wrote Ben Russell over my name on an exam from the 8th grade to make it look like Ben was a good history student.  So when the instructor calls on me because I got the highest grade on the first test in world history my freshman year, people think that can't be right because my mother said it would be Ben, who isn't even in my history class.  Ruckel, you aren't supposed to give out those old tests unless its the prince of heaven himself who asks.

Ben Russell proceed to give the worst speech in history on mesolithic, which he interpreted as "hyperlithic."  No, it means "middle stone age" and the key worth "lith" is Latin for stone.  Also, stone tepees were built in the paleolithic age, which is the oldest.

He also gave some gawdawful speech on Clovis I including the opinion that he wasn't allowed to marry or be coronated until after his mother was dead.  Have you seen the image of Clovis I in the bathtub?  That's supposed to be his baptism.  When I denied that the image means Clovis is fornicating I got the response from Ben that that must mean he isn't allowed to marry until his mother is dead.  I also pointed out that there is no historical doubt that Clovis I was a fornicater because he had a bastard son, the image of the bathtub itself is not demonstrating an act of fornication.  This is a very controversial thing to contend with conservatives who seam to go apeshit over any hint of nudity.  There are many images of Clovis I's baptism that appear to refer to the baptism font in front of the Licoln Cathedral at Tournai.  Some of them appear to be a young man.

 

Also, Steve Spade had told Ben, the bumpkin, and I have no idea why he kept intruding on my class, that if he wrote "ma" on his test it was like getting 100.  So he wrote "ma" on his exam and said "Only I can argue," repeatedly.

I also remember - Corine Sims asked Ben for the answer; he said "George Washington" and Corine Sims moved to mark my grade down.  

Also, Carol A Freeman, a relative who shouldn't have been there, thought I was trying to trade my grades down for sexual favors; since apparently that's a normal thing for conservatives to do.

Gods be good.  In the south, they are cheap, and never let anyone write in their workbook until they get to foreign language in highschool.  In Ohio, the school system pay the bill so every student has their own workbooks!  In Florida, the students don't know what the word "workbook" means!  I think they thought the term was sexual!

That reminds me, my aunt Elizabeth Anderson who was a highschool teacher in Tequesta, FL was there to mouth off, reminding the faculty of NHS that she makes 4 times more than they do.  Now, I remember, she was there because she the highest paid teacher in the country.  They treated her like a bumpkin.  Oh, dear.  As soon as she heard what the teachers on the Emerald Coast had to say, she lied and she said she taught average students.  No, she taught gifted ones, and made money doing it.  Yes, gifted program teachers qualified to teach AP Literature are supposed to make quite a bit.  Tequesta, FL made the decision that the gifted program in this country will never learn what it was supposed to learn, ever.

Liz is the teacher who came up with the term "white zinger" to describe the teachers on the emerald coast.

Melodrama aside, Ben Russell thought T-e-q-u-e-s-t-a spelled a Satan, in an attempt to discredit the Anderson family and make them look like the bad guys.  Chris Anderson said "Woah, you guys are not teachers are you?  That is so not happening."  Referring to Niceville High School.

Somehow - years later than it should have happened, Pratt and Whitney got the engine contract for the F-22, so Tequesta wins one in the end. 

Corinne Sims was flabergasted when she finally looked at the exam years later and it had my name on it.  And what the hell was she doing in the physics undergraduate lounge anyway?

I remember Kelly McMahon coming around to write a 0 on the exam because she thought that the correct answer to the cursed tomb was Temujin, who had no tomb.  Many people get Temujin and Tamerlane confused, that isn't my fault.

Another problem - the grader's signature is also on the test.  When the grader showed up and wasn't butt ugly she thought there was a mistake and Kelly S McMahon was the real grader.  If I recall, she said the grader can decide who the grade of the exam is for, thinking it is Kelly and having the real grader, Christine B Maxwell put in prison.

IIRC Corinne Sims had Patricia Moore,  the assistant director, a county official murdered.  The county seat is at Choctawhatchee highschool.  I believe she is using identity theft to maintain her position in Niceville.  Also, somehow they got Bill Stuckey recorded as the grader and Ben J Russell recorded as the instructor?  I don't remember what the good lies are after all these years. 

Also, the other high official was Pat Baxter.  I think she was higher than the county superintendent.

Somehow Joe Ann Tabor got confused with Pat Baxter.  I think Joe Ann Tabor was a remedial room teacher who wound up in the ECLDC, which got gifted studies confused with remedial reading.  A college class equivalent to gifted studies would be Stanford college 106, that's the closest thing.  Which is where James went.

Ben got in my face particularly over the Tamerlane issue.  Is that why some people thought he was the instructor? 

In addition to test performance the instructor wanted someone who had an award in 8th grade for history to read about the fall of the Roman empire which has religious significance.  James was our salutatorian, spoke at commensuration, went to Stanford pre-med, and his father was my father's boss's, boss's, boss's, boss's, boss's, boss.   So how'd they decide on Ben Russell being added to the class for this purpose?

James also got a 1570 on the SAT.

I remember now, Milo Banbury switched Ben's record for mine.  I don't know how he pulled it off.  That's how they thought Ben had won an award in the 8th grade - from my hidden record.  I don't see it on my transcript.  He thought my GPA was high enough to say Ben was the validictorian.  No.  I was 11th in class.

Ben thought that the level 4 diagnostic that he took in special ed 4 was the history contest.  Special ed 4 is 4 levels below remedial.  Someone named Casey Coleman got in his head that their tests were more sophisticated than the gifted programs' because he looked at some crap that Kelly S McMahon wrote and thought it was the exam.

Oh dear.  My father thought that he would help me get an attractive girlfriend by covering up "10" with his thumb and waving my test around saying I had a "0."  Ben didn't concern himself with anyone else's grade because he thought that everyone gets a "0" all the time anyway!  He had "ma" on his test as suggested by Steve Spade.

I do remember, Kelly S McMahon suggested to my father that if I get a good grade I may try to ass fuck my father.  Or the grader?

Also, Corine Sims said Ben, who was not in my history classroom, should get credit for my exam because he is convinced people in the 19th century did not have sexual intercourse.

It came from an attempt at a serious sermon from Roy E Lancaster on the subjective clause, which is a technical way of reading a sentence with more than one comma, so that we don't confused over the origin of the Etruscans when we read a college level history textbook someday.  The book I read is History of World Societies third edition.  This is not an original print.  This print says that we don't know anything about the Etruscans.  The former print said that the Etruscans are people who entered Italy who are not Indo-European.  The Etruscan language, according to Britannica is not Indo-European so it is not Greek in origin.  However, that doesn't mean the Etrsucan alphabet isn't based on the Greek alphabet!  Before that they may have used ideograms.

Someone put a gun to his head and he had to butcher the sermon.

There were police.  Someone named Kevin Smith said i have to do what Ben Russell says.  Ben Russell says I can't say "Tamerlane."  The police have the answer key, they ask me what my what my answer is, I say "Timur Gurkani" which he was also known by.  They think I'm an idiot.  I remember, the instructor Alan L Dobson said they were not the same person.  They are the same person.  Also, I did what Ben said because their were police there to intimidate for him.  Someone, I'm not sure it was an actual grader, regraded the exam to be a 99.  This made me look I lost to Ben in a huge way.

I also remember some discussion of what was more important, discovering Genghis Khan's tomb or finding out when Tamerlane's tomb was "entered."  I used the false term "entered" instead of "discovered" because Milo E Banbury was there saying he'll kill me if I use the word "discovered."  This is the Mikhail Gerasimov story.  It was in our textbook.  Web searching, there are at least 2 discoveries of the tomb.

Someone accused me of lying - leading to the discussion of Genghis Khan's and Tamerlane's tomb and was derailed by the confusion of Mikhail Gerasimov with Mikhail Gorbachev.

I tried pointing out the primary source for Tamerlane in the bibliography using the endnotes which are at the end of each chapter (Chicago manual of style).  Mary Rose said, "that's made up."  I was staggered.  That made me look like a liar.  It's not wrong to wonder where a textbook gets its information.  This is a culture gap, the remedial teacher invasion was full of people who are not used to students being able to give a precise answer to a question.

Another problem was when the LMS (life management skills teacher, an average student teacher who feels like a God amongst the remedial twits who were there.)  She wanted to know the style guide for a history textbook.  Jason Jeffrey has mentioned the Chicago manual of style a few minutes before.  Then Ben said you can't say the Chicago manual of Style, which is exactly the correct answer.  So I said the MLA handbook, which is for English term papers.  Because of the threats and the remedial people in the classroom, I looked like a liar.  There is an interesting trick with the average/remedial teachers.  They are used to their students not knowing the answer, so they look at questions as an excuse to kick a student's ass instead of an attempt to learn something.  It is pathetic.

 

I remember now, my father had me play "gimme see" with my first exam and Ben Russell.  The response is even with one stolen grade, he's a terrible student.  But with one stolen 100?  He can start playing identity thief.  I think the crime is called grade shuffling.  They did it with AP scores too.  Also, if someone finds a graded exam that isn't yours, it's quite possible that the grade on the exam isn't yours in the gradebook either.

I remember my father taking Ben's side and saying I know that my son lied because history comes from the people.  He then said that the current test doesn't count.  because even with one wrong I have a 99.  Then, I think someone like Corine Sims said you are supposed to say the grade is Ben's.  So my father took the exam and crumpled it.  I said to my father you make it look like the exam is concocted by crumpling it.  So then he fell unconscious.  I then commented that Ben is so bad ass he gets 100 whenever anyone's test is crumpled.  I tried to say that Ben is claiming someone else's grade, mine, I think history tried to turn the truth around on that.

I even remember the obscure answer that Ben was looking for - Shelby Lynne.  I had a sermon on that once.

In fact, history comes from the people had a peculiar meaning.  People argued over whether Shelby Lynne or his first wife Ginnifer Goodwin had the cursed tomb.  Generally speaking, I think they wanted the first and prettier wife to have the cursed tomb.

Wait a minute.  She died in 2008.  I've been working and plowing so long that even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone.

The answer Ben wanted was Thomas Jefferson, the first Democrat.  The man my father wanted was George Washington and they fought over it.  My father appeared to be winning, then my father stopped and said, for a graded test, just write whatever Ben said.  This was "Thomas Jefferson."

The reason for believing that TJ had a cursed tomb is apparently the presence of angels that have sex with you. The reason for Tamerlane's are the two inscriptions, one outside the tomb and one inside, and the fact that Hitler invaded Russia the day after Mikhail Gerasimov opened the sarcophagus.

This was major class warfare.  This was the remedial students not liking that the gifted students learned more than they did. Wanting their credibility.  The remedials reponse is that you don't need credibilty, you need obedience.  The British response is, indigent shits have no place mouthing off.

If I had a bad grade to begin with, there wouldn't be that many people trying to steal my test grade to get the grade for themselves, to rape the graders.

 

A potential point of misunderstanding - for test questions for which there were broken hearts, the instructor would frequently call on upon myself or Jason Jeffreys to explain why the incorrect choices in a multiple choice exam were in fact incorrect.  A good instructor will know which questions the class wants to review after an exam.  The ones that broke their hearts.

The official regrader was Carrie A Moore.  Not Kelly S McMahon.  Corinne Sims thought Kelly might be the grader because had a preconceived notion that gifted students are fat.  Corine Sims had no experience with any students but special ed students and had no business in our class!  Kelly was special ed IV.  Special ed IV is 4 levels below remedial.  The discipline secretary is supposed to have power over only the special IV students.  She is stupid and thought if she has power over special ed IV she should have power over everyone.  Kelly did read a book called "15,000 historical facts nerds obsess about" because she agreed to read that one book for me in preschool, because I knew she would stalk me my whole life.  That is a book allegedly published in the afterlife.  She is about 7 years older.

Now I kind of remember.  After receiving the test the instructor asked me to give it to the grader in the back.  What was he thinking?  Just stupid.  If you want the test back, ask it to be passed to the front of the room.

I think there's some misunderstanding that the class was a sex ed class because it discussed Clovis I with a bastard son.  I remember, they thought I was in special ed 4 because sexuality came up, when it does in special ed 4 they do it in such a way as to promote sodomy from what I've heard.  The presumption in special ed 4 is that you are forsaken by God anyway.

Also, conservatives considered it Satanic that Clovis I had children with his own wife.  This led to the men's rights movement and an attempt from National Review at preventing child support for children that weren't your own.  I desperately hoped that it would succeed.  It would establish, by law that conservatives say that children are produced sexually and are not the result of cloning, ass fucking, or something else unnatural like a damn stork.

 

I remember the cultural dysfunction this video represents and it is related to men's rights.  They may have deleted a line in the background.  Basically, it means men were afraid to admit they got their own wife pregnant.  And that was in the 1950s.  A proper legal system should get men in trouble if their wife is pregnant by anyone but them! 

One of a conservatives' hitches in understanding is the meaning of "circa."  It is defined in the abbreviations and transliterations of the NIV study bible as "about, approximately."  Conservatives think it means "cunt."

I figured something else out that conservatives have a hard time with - making a distinction between a year in the text of a book, and a page number in a bibliography or endnotes.  The Chicago Manual of Style defines how to write history books so it can explain what a bibliography or endnotes are.  I think they expect that the number for an answer is a page number for the text itself, and barring that something to do with the index in the Return of the King.

School tests, called "midterms" properly understood, involve something called an "assigned grade" for academic honesty.  Conservatives tend to look upon grades as something "agreed" rather than "assigned."  When you hear "agreed grade" what you have is academic fraud.

Questions about this exam followed me into economics, where Mrs Graves was fond of pointing out that you need a "B" in algebra II to get into AP macroeconomics.   A class where my desk was crammed and the row bowlderized.

There are a couple of ancillary facts to answer tertiary questions on the beginning of the Dark Ages.  The birth of Clovis I's first son, the date of his marriage, the date of the birth of his first son in wedlock, the death of his mother and his first 2 sons, and the date he committed murder just before he was coronated by the Ripuarians. 

Anyway, a genuine reason with being unhappy with the death of Childeric I as the beginning of the Dark Ages is that the death of a father is not a sin.  Neither is a coronation.  The term "ex-communion" implies that the pope did indeed call out the strangulation of Clovis I's legitimate first son in a papal bull as a sin.   This makes the history difficult.

You can also see there is a European interregnum between the Deposition of Romulus Augustus and the beginning of the Dark Ages.

 

The coronation by the Ripuarians appears to have gone nowhere, this is how Clovis got there

 

"...champion of Catholicity, who only waited for a suitable opportunity to deprive his ally of throne and life. The present juncture was favourable to his wishes, and enabled him to rid himself of his benefactor in a manner peculiarly suited to his taste. An attempt to conquer the kingdom of Cologne by force of arms would have been but feebly seconded by his own subjects, and would have met with a stout resistance from the Ripuarians, who were conscious of no inferiority to the Salian tribe. His efforts were therefore directed to the destruction of the royal house, the downfall of which was hastened by internal divisions. Clotaire (or Clotarich), the expectant heir of Sigebert, weary of hope deferred, gave a ready ear to the hellish suggestions of Clovis, who urged him, by the strongest appeals to his ambition and cupidity, to the murder of his father. Sigebert was slain by his own son in the Buchonian Forest near Fulda. The wretched parricide endeavoured to secure the further connivance of his tempter, by offering him a share of the blood-stained treasure he had acquired. But Clovis, whose part in the transaction was probably unknown, affected a feeling of horror at the unnatural crime, and procured the immediate assassination of Clotaire; an act which rid him of a rival, silenced an embarrassing accomplice, and tended rather to raise than to lower him in the opinion of the Ripuarians. It is not surprising, therefore, that when Clovis proposed himself as the successor of Sigebert, and promised the full recognition of all existing rights, his offer should be joyfully accepted. In 509 (A.D.) he was elected king by the Ripuarians, and raised upon a shield in the city of Cologne, according to the..."

Collection, .. Clovis . Editions Le Mono. Kindle Edition.

I have found one first person source for Clovis, "Histoire generale de la Tapisserie dans les Flandres."  There is a mural of Clovis I coronation.  Another spasmohican that conservatives have over history is when you try to translate anything into a foreign language.  The French word for coronation is couronnement. 

The coronation is also covered by "Le couronnement de Clovis," which is a source listed in the source "Clovis."   The city isn't on the inscription of the tapestry itself.  It does seam to say he is a "baronne" which is not that impressive.  This is a beautiful throne room scene and not something Pythonesque with him lifted on shields.  Flanders, is that the city?

The inscription says "after the death of  his father ...honneur et de noblelle ???..."  My guess is it is an archaic form of the name Liley as Lieluy.  His full name, Lieluy Ray Clovis.

This must be the 496 coronation.

Some thought any mention of religion meant the class was remedial.  There was also confusion over whether the answer key was a remedial textbook.

The classic image of Clovis in a bathtub is supposed to be Clovis in the baptismal font in front of the Lincoln cathedral in Tournai, which suggest there was a coronation in 481 when his father first died.

I remember another one of the bad words for what didn't quite happen - "instructor led grading" is a complete breakdown of the system.

I remember another highschool rule that wasn't followed correctly - remedial teachers rank below the staff, gifted teachers rank above the staff.  The top employees are labeled "administrators" including the principal.

I remember another stupid human trick that Ben pulled.  The Seven Enemies of Israel in the Promised Land (Deuteronomy 20 versus 16-17); “In the cities of these people that the Lord your God gives you for an inheritance, you shall save alive nothing that breathes, but you shall utterly destroy them, the Hittites and the Amorites, the Girgashites and the Canaanites and the Perizzites, the Hivites and the Jebusites as the Lord your God has commanded you”.

some have charitably pointed out that these were also enemies of the ancient Egyptians.  To do so is not a reference to the Satanic bible!

The discussion ended with Julie Walner saying there was no such thing as WWII or the Holocaust.

Ben tried to agree by saying the 19th century didn't happen. 

He also stole my most organized book bag award from Ruckel and flashed it around saying it was proof he was the best history student.  

The clergy from my church in Ohio were there, James Harold Day, Roy E Lancaster, and Gary Andrews. 

Gary Andrews was explaining how a man is supposed to raise his kids with his legitimate kids and not his bastard children.  In that sense Clovis I's behavior was Christian.

Ben was saying you can only lose your virginity with your "ma?"

That means nobody gets a girlfriend for doing well in school after all.

I referred to Gary Anderson's word as the "word of God."  They thought I meant Ben.  I hate Niceville High School.  and note, that the Oxbridge standards do not have world history any more.  The attempt to teach it was an epic fail.  There is an ambiguity.  In Castlevania II it is Raphael who ends the world by crushing it with a stone, which to some means he is God.

Also, it means the European welfare state which funded single unwed mothers is more moral than the US where wed mothers were funded by AFDC.  If you are married, you are hitched to your husband.

Also, I said I was laity and since Ben was a "gentile" he thought he could tell me what to do.

Also, they asked me to sing a song about Passover, thank to Metallica's Live Shit: Binge and Purge, I knew the answer: "Creeping Death."

Faith of the unknown one
The deliverer
Wait, something must be done
Four hundred years

That's where I get the time of the Exile in Egypt.

The last discussion I remember is what caused the baby boom?  I don't remember what Ben Russell said, but Michael I Ledeen, our textbook author was in class and said "by fucking you idiot!"

We found an American history textbook and it said the baby boom was caused by "marriage" caused by the GI Bill.

Whether marriage was a euphemism for sexual intercourse became a terrible discussion because of the presence of the remedials, the retail community, and little old ladies in the classroom.

Also, there was some argument over whether people involuntarily discharged from the armed forces could have been honorably discharged.  I don't remember the conclusion in class.  An intelligent discussion of the post war draw down was hard to come by.

It got to a discussion of the Epic of Gilgamesh and how Enkidu is "stiched" together.  That's a pagan classic.  Yes, that means its devil worship to supposed people can be made that way.  Actually, we had a more complete version back then that James H Day had with him.

Disturbingly enough, the video game X-Com UF Defense features angels' body parts apparently stored for scientific experiments on starships if you play the difficulty high enough.

Since the "adults' won the issue that people don't come from "fucking" Ben threw his exam, with a "0" on it on my lap.  To quote a sermon "if you give the devil an inch, he will take a mile!"

Of the people mentioned I think only Adrienne Candia made it to the Wall of Fame for the graduating class.

There was also some inane argument between Ben and my father over whether children come from ass fucking ma or pa.  Celebrated in the Southpark episode "Retard Babies and Butt Sex."

I also pointed out, it's Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve, for which they still make t-shirts.

Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve

 

 

Edited December 9, 2023 by dnewhous

[dnewhous]

531

• The Franks under King Chlothar I march against the Thuringii with Chlothar's nephew Theudebert I. The Kingdom of Thuringia comes under Frankish domination.

And so, the reign of the smurf king comes to an end.

525

• Frankish tribesmen, under the command of King Chlothar I, plunder Burgundy.

524 - Burgundy strikes back

• May 1 – King Sigismund of Burgundy is executed at Orléans after an 8-year reign, and is succeeded by his brother Godomar. He rallies the Burgundian army and begins plundering Frankish territory.
• June 25 – Battle of Vézeronce: The Franks under Chlodomer, Childebert I and Chlothar I are defeated by the Burgundians and allied Ostrogoths near Isère (France), averting the Frankish advance into Burgundy. During the fighting Chlodomer is killed. Later Childebert annexes the cities of Chartres and Orléans.

523 - 

King Chlothar I takes part in an expedition against Burgundy and captures the town of Autun. Now about 26, he makes plans to expand the territory he inherited from his late father, Clovis I.

King Sigismund of Burgundy is defeated by the invading Franks under Chlodomer, Childebert I and Chlothar I. He is captured and taken as prisoner to Aurelianum (modern Orléans).

511 - November 11 - King Clovis I dies at Paris^[1] (Lutetia) at age 45, and is buried in the Abbey of St. Genevieve. The Merovingian Dynasty is continued by his four sons (Theuderic I, Chlodomer, Childebert I and Chlothar I), who divide the Frankish Kingdom and rule from the capitals at Metz, Orléans, Paris and Soissons, respectively.

509 Clovis I (Chlodowech) becomes the first Catholic king of the Franks, uniting all the Frankish tribes under his rule. He controls an immense territory in Gaul (modern France), and delivers a major blow for the Church against the Arian heresy.  This is also the year is is coronated by the Ripuarians.

508 - This is the year that Clovis fails to take Carcassonne in southern Gaul, and then is baptized.

500 - Clovis surrenders at Dijon to the Romans.

496 - December 25 – Clovis I is baptized into the Catholic faith at Rheims, by Saint Remigius. The conversion strengthens the bonds between his Gallo-Roman subjects, led by their Catholic bishops.  

According to the wikipedia, 496 is also the year that Clovis is crowned king of the Franks.

494 - my own guess - third annointment and the first with olive oil, some consider this the beginning of the middle ages.

493 - marries the Burgundian princess Clotilda.

486 - Battle of Soissons and victory.  Defeats the Roman empire here.

481 - Was there a coronation?

481 - King Childeric I dies at Tournai after a 24-year reign. He is succeeded by his 15-year-old son Clovis, who becomes ruler of the Salian Franks in the province Gallia Belgica (modern Belgium) until his death in 511.

I don't know that conservatives understand the Gregorian calendar.  Without it, there is no knowledge of history.

Now I see, his birthdate is unknown.  It's not on the wikipedia by year, nor in the book "Dark Ages."

The theological dispute was over whether someone's age is an assigned value or a calculated value.

Clovis's father died when he was 15, so he may well not have had a coronation until later.

Despite losing battle Clovis I wins in history by marrying the princess of Burgundy.  That was a serious blow from which the empire did not recover.

I suppose the following year can be considered the effective end of the empire in the west, in 532

• Battle of Autun - The Franks, under command of King Childebert I and his brother Chlothar I, invade the Kingdom of Burgundy. They defeat the Burgundians under King Godomar near Autun (modern France).

The Franks and the Burgundians fought like cats and dogs.  

Edited May 14, 2023 by dnewhous

[dnewhous]

Tamerlane by Sokol, Edward Dennis does not have anything interesting about his tomb.  It does talk a little about how they failed to get his heir back to Samarkand in time after he died.

One misinterpretation of an unpopular position I took, I took the position that students who haven't been baptized shouldn't be in the gifted program anymore in highschool, does not mean I am a conservative.  I may be construed as a religious prick.

The bathtub baptism of Clovis appears to be an image of a baptism font in front of the Lincoln cathedral at Tournai.  Tournai?  That would suggest he was baptized when he was a young man in 481.  There are some images of this history, where Clovis I looks young.

The last issue is that there may be something between his father's death and his coronation - his annointment with olive oil, which is a ceremony that goes back to at least king David.  For some reason that fact that annointment predates the Catholic church matters in assessing his annointment. 

The question is supposed to be, when did Clovis become king, when his father died or when he was annointed?  NHS said when his father died and Stingley says it was his third annointment.  I also remember Kevin Thomsen mutter under his breath "he wasn't king until his annointment."

"Baronne" is supposed to be "baronness."  No, that can't be it.  So the official title is supposed to be "baron" and not "baronet" which is a lower peerage.

I would guess baronne is lower than baronet and that m-w and babelfish still need work.

IIRC, also the methodists were trying to make it a practice that there is a consecration after baptism and before sacrament of completion.  Never had it.

The POV at Stingley was that the middle ages started with the consecration of Clovis I. 

If you split the middle ages and dark ages, with the dark ages being brief, then it makes sense to say that the middle ages began with the coronation of Clovis I.  

Then the Dark Ages begin with the Deposition of Romulus Augustus and end with the Battle of Soissons.

I remember another problem I found baffling.  When the instructor prompted me to sing a song about the Reconquista, Jason and I sang "The Inquisition"' from History of the World Part I.  They didn't like the word "educate" as in "educate the jews."  Conservatives don't recognize school is for education.  They thought that I was a Satan worshipper because I wanted to go to school for an education rather than for achievement.  By conservatives I mean the people who were not supposed to be in the class and I include my future LMS teacher.

The word that conservatives like to use is "achievement" as if passing through school just happens.

I remember another problem, the remedial students panned Schindler's List as fictitious, so when it came up in class, Jason Jeffrey's started goofing off.

So, in the end, they decided I must be wrong about everything because of Holocaust Denial.

I am one of the founding members of the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum.

https://www.britannica.com/event/Holocaust

https://www.britannica.com/topic/Holocaust-museum

Movies :

To be or Not to Be

Never Forget

The Music Box

Schindler's List

The denouement of the Music Box is when the defense attorney finds the Music Box she finds proof that her grandfather was an officer in the gestapo, and committed exactly the crimes he was accused of committing.

Also, I remember singing "The Valley of the Kings" and "Ptolemy" in class.

Corine Sims said that Ben is my executor because he knows heavy metal?

Ben's final answer to the cursed tomb was "my mother."  I pointed out that she's still alive.  

Aaron Weinstalk, special ed student, tried to answer that for me, getting me in trouble.  Because his answer was stupid.

The remedial bunch did not understand what cursed means.  I said it means "damned."  They didn't know what that means either.  They asked how it was spelled, and where I learned it.  I learned it from Robotech comic books where they use the words "damn" and "dammit."

When asked about why we bury I tried to say "respect for the dead."  I got smacked by Peter Freeman who didn't think gifted students know anything about the dead.

I think I may have had to say a 2nd best "honor the dead." The remedials don't know what the word "respect" means.  

In the game series Civilization, the first advance you need is "Ceremonial burial."  Archaeologists have found cemeteries in Egypt back to 5000 BC.  

Ben was on academic bowl (academic team is a downgrade of quiz bowl) at Ruckel Middle School.  That's where his reputation comes from.  It's in the newspaper archive.  My memory isn't so good - it's like they turned Knowledge Master tryouts into the scores for academic bowl.  Knowledge Masters became invitational Knowledge Master Open in highschool.

I believe the point of Knowledge Master Open was to see if the gifted students in a public school know as much as a private one.

I'm in the paper for graduating NHS with at least a 3.25 GPA. 

I remember, Ben was a sub for Tommy Holler because she was so pretty they thought she would cause a nuclear war on the academic bowl.  Her likeness lives on in the Star War KOTOR video "The Return" as Satele.  Somehow they managed to confuse her with Kelly McMahon.  A Gorillas in the Mist effect, this fat girl must be the one with the high scores!  Some said that with Ben's grades, he should not sub for Tommy despite having good quiz bowl scores.  So some suggested Kelly McMahon as a substitute for Ben and I objected to that and got my way.  I don't remember who had the next highest score for sure.  Andy Tipton was still around.  Me?  Suprisingly, some wanted to dump Alex who was the one objecting to Tommy's presence and put me on the team instead of Alex.  If I had been on the academic bowl team, I would have subbed for Alex, because of his misogyny.  Alex found a way to dispute Tommy's scores.  When I stood up for her, some people wanted me to sub for Alex.  And some people acted like I was a threat to Tommy Holler.   At one point I had an M-16 in my hands pointed at Tony Weber.  Ben, being on the team is subbing for Tommy Holler, for being excessively attractive.

I did have another condition - if Tommy is not on the team, Alex is certainly on the team because those were are two heavy hitters.

Also, you need to understand, an alternate is someone who is understood to have inferior scores, like a 2nd string quarterback.  The reason alternates were considered were because of Tommy Holler's beauty, it caused a fistfight between Justin Woodard and myself at the very least.  And the reason he couldn't be on the team is that I beat him up.

Edward P Tally, excuse me, Todd Taly, tried to make the final decision and it didn't really work.

I think I took a lot of blame because I was supposed to be the rumored "rich man's genius."  People always asked what kind of toys I got.  My father lived like a pauper compared to most government employees.  James K Senechal was clearly the rich man's genius kid.  Or maybe it was Anna Chessar?  Her dad was a civil engineer with a better idea than the midbay bridge - connect what is now Spence Pkwy to White Point Road while we still can.  My middle school psychology teacher had James's tryout score reduced so he couldn't be on the team.  She's not a gifted program teacher, it's none of her business.  If I were James I would have had her arrested.

Also people put too much stock into the notion that I was an "alternate."  That usually doesn't mean didly.

At one point though he cheated by copying someone else's answers to get on the team.  That didn't work, he was reduced to "indigent reclusive" and wanted his "alternate" status back.  I mean, basically he was supposed to be expelled regardless of his score at that point.  I think he copied Anna Chessar which once again means there was a problem with her being on the academic team as pretty as she was.  That makes two women who were not allowed on the team because of how pretty they look.

K, when I tried to explain to Ben that neither he nor I were on the team, he thought I was claiming to have made the cut.  No.  Some people may have made me say that.  He thought Anna's exam would be the worst, because she is a cheerleader.  I think she had the absolute high score, and because she is a cheerleader they have been using her scantron for anti-knowledge ever since.  I think it was my highschool LMS teacher who said she would take it and say all the answers are wrong.  Thus, the decline and fall of American democracy.  I was trying to explain they gave Ben a 0 for copying Anna, not that Anna got a 0! The problem is that she is a remedial teacher, she has no business around the gifted program or academic bowl.  It really is illegal for her to get involved or to find out what the academic team tryout scores/knowledge master tryout scores were.  I think Kelly was classified as "indigent warban."

I also remember, when Ben first got word that his score was lower than Jeremy Lehman's, he thought that he had been flunked out.  No.  The problem is that Ben had already flunked out, and he hadn't realized it or something.  And he thought that the Ruckel tryout score was what did it.  The staff got that confused.

I remember, my future LMS teacher wanted to give him straight A's for wanting to ass fuck his mother.

Corine Sims said that they can give my record to Kelly McMahon whenever they want, making her a grader?

I do remember, before the class Kelly McMahon wrote an "A" down on Ben Russell's midterm where the score was a "0" which I noticed because junk like that had been done before.  David Freeman didn't notice and Ben has to win because he got an "A."  Win what exactly?

Jeremy Cooper gave a gawdawful speech on how history and the bible are separate.  He even said that the Exile and the Exodus are not real.  

I said that the Exile is real.  

Then Mary Allen Sheppard, the Calculus teacher, came in and said that history teaches that the Exile is fake.  If you hadn't noticed, set theory would suggest that if there were an Exodus there would need to be a prior Exile.  

But we don't get as as far as IB Further Math.

After that I was forced by Chris Johnson to say some stupid shit.  His adopted mother, Susan Wilkerson, said, "I ordained my son."  Ordainment is ordainment by God, only.  My grade was saved, though, but when  you are forced to say stupid things publicly, it makes you look dishonest. 

Meanwhile Grunge magazine has a top 10 list for the most accursed tombs of all time and a separate article on the tomb of Jagiellon.

I did well enough on the tryouts to be on the Knowledge Master Open (KMO) in highschool. 

The people for KMO were called up in 2nd period.  The invitee list was compiled every year by Patricia Moore and Pat Baxter.  They outranked the principal.  Neither one constituted "office staff."

Also, I don't think KMO was called KMO until my junior year to clarify the nature of the competition.  It was a Knowledge Master Open all 4 years.

The hierarchy of prestige for extra-curricular activities was 1) academic team 2) math club 3) chess club 4) knowledge master open

Your one time academic team tryout score is used as a basis of admission to any of the clubs.

Also, since Anna got the highest score in the country at Ruckel middle school for the original Knowledge Master tryouts, she didn't have to try out for academic team at NHS.

Because of this we said Anna had a "bye" like the NFL playoff.  Anna once commented that she had a "bye" which was interpreted by some interlocutors as an attempt to throw me out of Knowledge Master Open.

Alex certainly had the grades and the scores and I wasn't the only one who wanted him off the Knowledge Master team for not believing Tommy Holler could be a genius, back in Ruckel.

Ben cheated off of Anna's answers at Ruckel, which he thought would be low, rather they gave him a perfect score; and it hard to believe that it came from Anna's scantron.

My senior year, Alex is the only student from Niceville High School to make "Team Florida" for the Panasonic National Championships.  "Team Florida" is more like a "Team Emerald Coast."  Alex Penn, Jeff Foxworthy, Randi Thomson, and ... 3 alternates?

The Niceville High School academic team that went to the tri-state Emerald Coast Invitational Academic Tournament did include Ben Russell and Alex Penn.  Niceville High School...got first place in Okaloosa County?  According to the paper NHS was in the top 3 in the tri-state competition - the other two schools being out of state.   Alex Penn was the NHS student that went to nationals in Orlando with Randi Thomson from Choctawhatchee and Jeff Foxworthy from Fort Walton Beach as "Team Florida."

I think I was able to get MVP one year in KMO.  The questions for academic team were much harder.  The only category I got anything right in was history, and I got 5.  The highest history score though was Andy Tipton who had 6 right in history and overall like 17.  IIRC, Ben had 11 questions right overall, and 4 right in the history category.

The question where Ben thought he could get me was whether papyrus or clay tablets came first.  We had a 4th grade reader that said man started writing on Papyrus.  Historians have changed their minds.

Here's something in Archaeology Magazine.

The World's Oldest Writing - Archaeology Magazine

Also check out Oxford's History of the Biblical World.  The earliest history is written on clay tablets.

 

I also got a question right about sports history - what was the nickname of the defensive line of the Minnesota Vikings in the 1970s?  Answer, "the purple people eater."  This was the Frad Tarkenton era and I've seen replays on TV.

 

There were some potential disputes in my favor that were ignored when Carrie A Moore tried to regrade the academic team tryouts.  Carrie A Moore felt that there were 3 additional questions that I got correct that Joe Ann Tabor did not count. 

One question that Carrie A Moore said that I got right that Joe Ann Tabor didn't was what correlates most with intelligence, the correct answer was "beauty."  That is a biology question.

Another one Joe Ann Tabor and NHS didn't credit for me came from the Ultimate Bathroom Reader, how many times are you supposed to have sex with a girl before she is a girlfriend?  I think it was 114.

 

Neither the Ultimate Bathroom Reader nor the sex trivia book have that fact anymore.

 

I remember, the AIDS coverup  There were AIDS questions I should have been credited with

What disease is AIDS?  Answer: Polio.  I got that right? ... the card said "intestinal ischemia"..but I was warned that if I gave that answer Ben would kill me by Jason Jeffreys.

What is the origin of AIDS?  Answer: Savannah Monkey.  I got that right and wasn't credited.  Ben said it was the "Green Monkey."  No.  If you elide the difference because of English/American differences you can bullshit your way out of that.

Then some Indian guy from Quiz Bowl tells Mrs Tabor "You can change the answer if you want."  I started muttering "I am the last Roman..."

 

Even if AIDS is intestinal ischemia you can still cure it with 4 polio vaccines.  The polio vaccine is very potent.

 

Religion and sex are power plays
Manipulate the people for the money they pay
Selling skin, selling God
The numbers look the same on their credit cards
Politicians say no to drugs
While we get paid for wars in Saudi Arabia
Fighting fire with empty words while the banks get fat
And the poor stay poor and the rich get rich
And the cops get paid to look away
As the one percent rules America

 

 

I used to remember the exact reference numbers for the papers at Yale and Cambridge that tell the story of AIDS.  That it is Polio was proven at Yale, that it is from the Savannah Monkey was a Cambridge paper.

 

Another source for my weird trivia knowledge - Trivia Adventure.  A game that my parents became unhappy with.

 

IIRC, Joe Ann Tabor said that she used official "quiz bowl" questions for the tryouts, and then since the school was not happy with them we downgraded to academic team.

 

Another dispute my freshman year was over a geology question from KMO.  It was a geology question concerning mining technology.  We got it right.  And Ben thew a conniption because it wasn't his answer.  Otherwise, he was good back then.  He may have even been MVP that year.  He demanded he be given MVP his junior year when it should have gone to Amy Foster.  We needed a girl to beat Alex!

The remedial teacher club tried tampering with the computer.  Apparently the server does not necessarily save whether the answer is correct, which means the system may be successfully hacked.  They wanted to alter an answer, the mining question, and essentially grade it double correct, more or less disregarding that the team had already been graded correct with a different answer.  

I even had to much with an EEPROM to try to get the computer to behave the way they wanted.  The teachers did not recognize hexadecimal numbers and thought it was garbled text.  There were two prongs I remember, one to view the EEPROM table and another to view the text of the current status.

EEPROM programing is usually considered the domain of EE because there is no high level programming language - you have to work the digital logic out by hand in terms of nand and nor switches and translate that to a hex table.  When you display an 8 bit byte it displays as a two digital hexidecimal value.

The people at NHS don't know what software is, much less an EEPROM which used to be part of EE education.  Machine learning?  I'm not sure.

It's not "firmware."  And a tech support guy electrocuted himself trying to do what I was doing.  3 of them.

Someone, Joe Ann Tabor? asked me to start tampering with the computer.  It didn't work.  I got blamed.  We had some sort of tech support guy come in who we shot.   We had Alex examine it.  He figured out how to manipulate it as best as possible until we got the double correct denied message.  Alex already had a job as an engineer.  A bunch of remedial teachers came in and thought it must be Ben!  Because he looks the nerdiest?  That thwarted human history badly.  My mother is the fool who called them in.  I don't know how she got so confused.  I don't remember how we got Ben to agree to stop fiddling with the computer.

The remedial club thought Ben was a computer genius for his idea to remove the "RAM" switch from the EMM manager on DOS.  That way nerdy people have no RAM!  Removing the switch inhibits the use of expanded memory.  And we used a IIe anyway.

Mrs Graves in particular wanted to give Ben a score equal to the number of questions ahead of time.  Fortunately, there's an international limit to the score you can give to one person so that the total score exceeds the number of questions and limited Ben's score.  That must have been done after the contest.

This stems from a misunderstanding from my freshman year in highschool - the immaculate conception is not the story of Adam and Eve.  And all are fair game on the KMO.  

To prove my point I had a couple of friends make changes to a couple of books, On the Origin of Species contains "sexual selection" not just "natural selection."  Also, the academic version of Paradise Lost clearly had the passage where Raphael threatens to kick Adam and Eve out of Eden for not "consummating" their marriage.

 

Also, the network used for KMO is an old pre-cable modem network.  The DB25 serial connection is ARPANEt, the BNC connection was securenet.  We used ARPAnet which is wrong.  Also, securenet, and now I am not sure what kind of connector it had, had a special extra secure pin if we  use a Navy recommended version of an Apple IIe which we did not use.

I remember Mrs Boller, an elementary school, tromping into the ECLDC my senior year and declaring that secure means we can score it locally.  Wrong!  So we continued to use ARPAnet and probably lied about it.

The BNC connection is to ensure that the scoring operation is done by the server.  Many different computers run the Knowledge Master Open program semi-simultaneously.  IIRC, the server was in New Haven, the same city as Yale.  I tried to make New Haven Academy the chief highschool of the circuit.  Marla Mayfield jilted me and made it New Haven ????.  New Haven Academy is a magnet school.  It is a public school that requires applications.  I didn't remember it.  Generally speaking the most famous magnet school in the country is Thomas Jefferson Highschool in Alexandria, VA and University Laboratory Highschool in Champaign, IL.

Or maybe I said Hopkins highschool.  The best private school there.  But maybe I was afraid nobody would recognize the location as Yaletown.  That is a joke.  John Hopkins University is in Boston.  So it's a weird name for a school in Connecticut.

We may have said Rocky Bayou Christian school as a compromise.  The Okaloosa county private school.  IMO, this are is too different to use that as a national barometer.  Also, being careful, the national standard for perochial school is Campbell Hall in Studio City, CA.  It's tuition is 2.5 times Rocky Bayou Christian school, and Campbell Hall's tuition is a little more than Harvard Westlake in the same city, or a Boston private school, so it is not taken that seriously.

I think perochial schools are presumed episcopalian unless specified otherwise because that is the denomination of the national catehdral.

The default perochial school in New Haven is Saint Martin's.  It was free but has no homeschool.

Campbell Hall is where Dakota and Elle Fanning went.  Back then it was about half the cost.  I've wondered if Harvard-Westlake bought it.

Hopkins School in New Haven, CT is $41,000/year which is a little more moderate, no football team!  that should be the best highschool in the country.  It has a lot more extracurricular activities than Harvard-Westlake.

Woah, but Rocky Bayou Christian school is much more expensive than the Catholic school in New Haven which is $4500/year.

Of those select school, Harvard Westlake (private), Campbell Hall (perochial), and Thomas Jefferson Highschool (magnet) have football teams.

I just thought - forced Rocky Bayou Christian School to abandon their football team - for their moderate price a football team is ridiculous.  Campbell Hall with the highest price in the country can do it.  I've looked at a few perochial schools web sites.  They love to put cheerleaders on their home page.  But the prices are too low to afford facilities of that magnitude.

Harvard Westlake has a football team but no extracurricular activities.  

Hopkins highschool has more extracurricular activities but no football team.

I coudn't get everything I wanted but I got some changes.  I preserved Rocky Bayou's home schooling by yelling and screaming - they may be where it started, but if you homeschool you are still supposed to pay tuition!  It's not a bad idea that way.

The reason I got to decide is that Carrie A Moore rescored by Academic Team tryout to 8 and weighted (by proclivity) it higher than Alex even though Alex got 51 right.  The problem is that she is attractive so they thought flat liner Ben could be the leader because that would be a match, because that is how "white trash" thinks!  Which defeats the whole purpose of the competition.  By proclivity the questions were supposed to be weighted according to their...IIRC...tendency to impress attractive girls.  Carrie A Moore was supposed to represent both the country's prettiest girl and its biggest genius.  Some got her confused Jessica C Wilson. Who was from Ohio - Columbus.  At one point Ben got Alex to anti-proclivity weight the results, which is to try to give me a score of 0.  The cops tried to drag Jessica off for some reason.  A firefight ensued, and I shit you not the Roman emperor himself had to come to take charge.

Carrie A Moore said that by proclivity, I had the highest score.

 

There were a few entertainment history questions that Joe Ann Tabor didn't count that I got right.

Who was the most popular musician in the 70s? Peter Frampton.

Who is considered the best guitar player of the 80s?  Mick Mars

What did Peter Frampton change his name to? Randy Rhoads (Ozzy!)

 

What did Randy Rhoads change his name to?  Alex Leifson..wait, I answered Tom Lavin which is right.  Ben answered Alex Leifson and got credit.

 

Another question they didn't count right, was "What is the fighting style of a ninja?"  The answer, I remember after all of these years is Bujinkan.  The question didn't say ninja, it said "Oniwaban."  That is the same damn thing.

Also, I think there was a question for which fighting style is fictitious?  "Ninjitsu."  Life imitates art.  A fictitious style becomes effectively real.

Another question I should have got right is, how many books are there in the Greek version of the bible? Answer: 75

The bible we use usually has 66 books in it, but some of the later versions are growing.  The preface says the bible was written in Koine Greek, it doesn't say they used that as a source...

Adrian Smith brought in the authentic ?? book bible and Joe Ann Tabor still didn't believe.

The NRSV bible has 18 books restored to the Old Testament; it is a 84 book bible.  Some of it is claimed from Greek sources.  It restores the story of the Babylonian captivity.

I think that the correct number is 95.  The Kindle version of the ESV is extraordinarily long and I haven't had a chance to look closely at it.

I still don't know for sure what the right answer is!  Try 404.

Yes, the bible is derived from manuscripts from multiple authors.  They are not usually considered necessary for publication.

 

At one point Joe Ann Tabor wanted Ben out of the tryouts because he got another F in history, hoping he would finally get an A, which is ridiculous.  He didn't need reform, he needed the boot in the ass.

Yes, I think they used the ARPAnet for Knowledge Master Open.  That's old and meant for classified information.

Newspaper archive has Kristen and James listed as valedictorian and salutatorian.  There are a list of graduates in '94 with a 3.25 GPA and a list of graduates with a NMSC.  Kristen is also listed as having won a presidential scholarship.  There is also a caption where she is listed as the student council president.  Student council?  That sounds wussy.  Why not student government?

They don't have an MVP listed for the varsity Knowledge Master Open.  I do remember, people on the KMO are supposed to get a prom date.   

They are calling varsity Knowledge Master Open varsity academic team?  Academic team is a buzzer game like quiz bowl.  Varsity academic team was like the 2nd team Knowledge Master Open team.  I remember it a bit.

I do remember that one of the things that public schools were  hoping to demonstrate that good at math people were not good at any other subject.  The truth is reversed, you can't be good at anything until you are a goodatmath.  

Also, since no teacher ever explained the academic team tryouts to him, he thought that Ben's dispute over one question put him on the Knowledge Master team.  No, papyrus did not precede clay tablets!

My highschool graduation year was 1994, and I don't see anything on my class published before 1989.

The Emerald Coast team included Niceville High School, Choctawhatchee High School, and Fort Walton Beach High School.  The other highschools in our county are Freeport, Crestview, DeFuniak Springs, and Laurel.

Choctawhatchee is the county seat - for education.  The county courthouse is in Crestview.

There is a new highschool, Destin High School!  It wasn't around back then.

KMO may pick higher than chess club.

The purpose of the picks is to prevent the same 4 people from being on every team.

I think Alex got a 51 on the academic team tryout.

K, we weren't sure how to pick for the teams, acdemic and math club and chess club.  Also, math club has a 2nd team.  Instead of the first 4 people going to the academic team, we tried to pick so that the first person goes to the academic team, the 2nd to the math club and so on so that the math club does not have intellectual weaklings.  But shouldn't the math club be based strictly math scores?  Yes, and since a lot of students, including cheerleaders who were in the gifted program had a straight As in math.  So they had to look at people's raw percentages since preschool. 

So here's how you do it, the person with the highest academic team tryout score, the 2nd pick goes to the math club based on the highest math test percentage, provided that they have not already been picked by the academic team, 3rd pick goes to the chess club, 4th pick goes to the math club 2nd team...

In addition to picking people from academic team, math club, and chess club for KMO, they were going to invite cheerleaders to the meeting.  

Here's the deal, you don't need to pick the ones with lower grades to get the prettier ones - at least that was true with Kelly Green was around.  They seamed to have given up on outstanding scholars on the cheerleading squad after she left.  Anna lied about how good a student she was.  Tricia Hanson was not a very good student and not the prettiest cheerleader.

Mrs Boller, who was an elementary school teacher, came and yelled and screamed at us that the cheerleaders were remedial math.  No they weren't.  The cops stood up for her.

Anna was an engineer at UFL.

Amber at FSU.

The last restriction - to be on KMO - you had to be baptized, and ordained?  That's why Patricia Moore handled the list.

I think, to be really clever about it, the way it would need to be done is...

The math club picks first, and it picks based on raw percent math grades, since several students had all A's in the subject, then chess club picks first based on quiz bowl tryouts, then academic team based on quiz bowl tryouts.

I tried to float the idea because some students (Kelly Green) wanted to perfect the selection.

The arguments were Pythonesque.  One thing was to sort out the scholarship money we were s-u-p-p-o-s-e-d to get.  Based on that math club was supposed to be the most important thing.  Surprisingly, there is no highschool scholarship money for quiz bowl.  There is for chess club and I didn't know it.

That pecking order would have worked.  But esoteric arguments cropped up, like which gets you more college scholarship money.  Which is a little far afield since we were not giving out highschool scholarships.  

Anyway if math club picks first, math grades are more important than overall grades.  Since there were a bunch of students, including cheerleaders, who had a 4.0 for the math grades, they had to look at raw percentages for their exams.  Math grades v overall GPA v tryout score, I forget where the arguments went.

K, Kelly Green was a new import - I think Pat Baxter is in charge of that - to have a girl who is even smarter than Alex Penn.  Randi Thomson thought that Kelly McMahon, a non-student who just shows up and acts like she owns the place, was a genius when she was the retarded girl the police were looking for and never correctly identifed.

When Jessica C Wilson showed up, the genius from Centerville, she was misidentified as Kelly S McMahon.  By the police?  I don't know.

Also, I now remember, if KMO is supposed to include cheerleaders the Navy recommended Apple IIe, which was extra-securenet, was about $114,000.  It had a 32" monitor and 756K memory and cleared some legal hurdle for having cheerleaders present in the ECLDC.  The Navy brought it as a gift and were turned away by the police who did not know what they were doing.  I insisted the school pay for it so they would know what is going on.

Here's the kicker, since math club has a 2nd team, somehow Ben got people to agree that varsity KMO would have a 2nd team too, and that since there were cheerleaders that would be the more important team since the worst students should always match to a girl better.  In their mind.  That's why Ben's in the paper for Knowledge Master Open.

See, it is misogynist to try to match the girls to the worst scholars and that's what Niceville High School did.

In all the years I thought of something to try to get even NHS to adopt the math club scholarship system without scewing it up - matching funds, the student and the highschool both get scholarship money!

 

In retrospect, it looks like having team 2 in the math club, for each class, was a bad idea.

 

I do remember the initial newspaper article said that Ben Russell was an "attendant" for the KMO which means  he wasn't a competitor.  The white trash brigade led by Mrs Graves the AP Economics teacher said that must mean he is our best student.  Kevin McFarland used that to get my father to punch my in the face.  

Never take electric guitar or bass lessons.

 

The ECLDC is the Exceptional Cognitive Learning Development Classroom.  It used to be room 531.

Joe Ann Tabor was the remedial reading teacher and I saw the actual gifted studies teacher shot, she was an old lady.  The old lady, I now remember, was Patricia Moore's mother!  

The point of all that is the young dream

 

The newspaper (Northwest Florida Daily News) has a list of students with a National Merit Scholarship offer, which is shorter than I thought.  And a list of students graduating with a 3.25 GPA.  Kristen and James are listed separately as valedictorian and salutatorian.  I'm curious to see if any of these students made it onto academic team or Knowledge Masters.  

Upon review, what we have referred to as the county academic team tournament was really a tri-state affair called the Emerald Coast Invitational Academic Tournament including Florida, Alabama, and Georgia.  The newspaper headline calls it "brain tourney" and says it was won by an Alabama school.  K,, NHS was top in Okaloosa isn't saying much.  The competition was held at Choctawhatchee High School.   I am surprised it included Mississippi and not Georgia, it must have been we were afraid that Georgia would kick our butts.  This is a tri-state academic team competition.

I am also skeptical that NHS really beat Choctawhatchee in the tri-state academic team competition- it's not that Alex isn't that smart is that Choctaw treated Randi much better than Alex was treated and I kind of got that Alex was considering throwing the match.

I also remember Alex was arrested for winning something once.  Todd got him out.

I also remember when the teachers asked me to fiddle with the Apple IIe for KMO; we had an engineer from Yale working for me.  He got shot eventually.  He showed me how to use Wireshark in a fancy way.  I had to debug Gnome.  Rick Bottone (NGC-Aersopace) showed up and put a restriction on my work.  I had about 5 people yelling at me.  Three local tech support people were shot.  A tech support person from Knowledge Masters was shot.  They shot Carrie Moore and she didn't die.

After I almost finished they had Ben fiddle with the computer to no end for 5 days.  Then Alex for 3, who wouldn't get it to work. 

Ben  had to claims to faim - one was removing the "RAM" specifier from the autoexec.bat file.  Because nerdy people don't deserve RAM, being nerdy and all.  Also, he tried to use the "inline" keyword in the autoexec.bat file.  Which has nothin to do with Apple or UNIX.

James had 3rd shot and was arrested.  Todd showed up and had to leave and rescue James.

Then I was given exactly 13 seconds and I got it working.  I had nearly finished before.

AFAIK I didn't rewrite any assembly.  Assembly is also considered EE domain.   EE is considered higher than software engineering.  Then again there was a jump value I had to change.  Yes I did change the assembly.  Operating system are compiled from source code.

5 students have been offered a National Merit Scholarship at Niceville:
Niceville

Loren A Boyer
Michelle M Buckellew - found a picture in the 1991 yearbook.  I thought she might be the Rush fan.  No, I think I have only seen her picture in the yearbook.
Daniel L Newhouse
Trent D Patterson
Mary F Pletcher

high GPA:

David Cortes
Daniel Newhouse
Alexander Penn (Brain Tourney)
Mary Pletcher  
Erik Urban

Kristen Reyher (Knowledge Master Varsity)
James Senechal

Varsity Team Members of the Knowledge Master Team:

Samantha Allen

Jerry Belue

Andrew Burns

Jim Colee

Theri Cook

Jonathan Fehl

Brian Fiegel

Gerry Hicks

Barry Kress

Jack Landham

Alex Penn

Kristen Reyher

Ben Russell

Justin Woodard

 

 

Jonathan Fell, a junior from the math club is on the Varsity Knowledge Master Team to indicate something went wrong.  I think he subbed for me so my mother wouldn't shoot me.

Samantha Allen - I think they wanted Samantha Bosik instead, who is mentally retarded.  This girl is also from the math club.  A college student!  Anna Chessar was supposed to go here.  Samantha Allen said "no way" to Anna being on the team, Carrie Wilke told her, Anna, "He can't win."  As in get either one of us on the Knowledge Master Open team.

Jack Landham - also a college student

Jerry Belue - he moved out of the area!

I think Ben was on the team because he would be on the National Merit Scholarship list with the other nerdy students!  So, of course he must be a Knowledge Master!  He was a semi-finalist.

Ben was a flat-liner and Patricia Moore kept trying to get rid of him.

I do remember Mary F Pletcher but I could never remember her last name.  I kept saying Mary Smith.  I don't remember Michelle M Buckellew.

The Brain Tourney led to the national academic team, called the "Panasonic National Championships," not Knowledge Masters!

The way KMO works is, the person at the keyboard decides which answer represents the team, enters it, gets feedback if it is correct, and if it correct, quickly enters the first person who provided the team with the answer.  So although there is a team score there is a way of accounting for individual scores as well, even though there is only one computer.

Joe Ann Tabor at one point wanted to know where the headquarters for the Knowledge Masters Open was.  Ben thought it was my home.  

Also, some false, salacious questions were generated to blame the Clinton administration for why Ben couldn't get any answers right.

Other pointers, Mark "Jeffco" Jeffcoat from Choctawhatchee is not the same person as Jeff Foxworthy, a student from Fort Walton Beach highschool, who was actually quite good looking.  I met Jeffco at math club a number of times.  When I saw his name printed in the paper I had a heart attack from people thinking I had him confused with Jeff Foxworthy.

I saw Jeff Foxworthy once, at NHS, Terri Cook flirted with him until she learned he was from the national academic team championship, that is the "Panasonic National Championships," with Alex Penn and Randi "Morphus" Thomson and acted like he had cooties.  She was overweight and wasn't.  

They (the remedial teacher people) thought I was saying I was on the national academic championship because they thought I was "Morphus;" Randi Thomson having to describe himself that way to try to prevent me from being kicked off the KMO.  I think there was some confusion about the Choctaw and Fort Walton people coming to meet our KMO our senior year, rather than be members of our KMO team.

Choctaw is closer to Niceville than Fort Walton, Racetrack Blvd v Hollywood Blvd.

My main memories of Choctawhatchee are playing Tetris on the Game Boy and staring at a painting of Michael Jackson and Mick Jagger and being unsure whether it was a drawing or a painting.

They are cross streets between Eglin and Beal Parkway.

The most famous celebrity from Fort Walton Beach highschool is Danny Wuerffel.

They Sunshine Marching Band played that at halftime at the Sugar Bowl.

There are national organizations for "quiz team."  And the math club.  Here they are

National Academic Quiz Team: NAQT | About Quiz Bowl

This organization does not offer highschool scholarships, I checked.

Math Club: NATIONAL MATH CLUB | MATHCOUNTS Foundation

Math Club honor society: Mu Alpha Theta | Honor Society - Official Honor Society® Website

In northwest Florida, the name Mu Alpha Theta was also used to describe a circuit of places for math competitions.  The only places I remember now for sure are Choctawhatchee highschool kicked off the year and Tallahassee Community College?  The Mu Alpha Theta I visited used to have its own site.

There is a US Chess Federation that suggests chess club can get you a scholarship

https://www.uschess.org/index.php/Chess-Clubs.html

but it appears to be a looser network than quiz bowl and math club. 

Membership in that gets you highschool scholarship money.  That's why it would be a good idea to adopt Oklahoma's driver's license at 14 policy.

Chess club has several regional organizations.

The company that runs Knowledge Master Open is Knowledge Master Open – Academic Hallmarks

It is a new company starting in 1995.

The most important highschools are most likely, in a regional varying way, 

New Haven, CT - the home of Yale University

Hopkins - private, yes they have a quiz bowl, math club, and a chess club.  But its a funny name for a school named after a university in Baltimore.

The cryps said if I want to make America libertarian this school has to be the hub of Knowledge Masters.

Saint Benedict - Episcopalian high school, Saint Thomas episcopal elementary school

Episcopal school - episcopal boarding high school, I never heard of this one, is this the model for Xavier's school?

New Haven academy - magnet

Shelton High School - public, they have a chess club too.  No idea if it is compatible with Hopkins.  This appears to be the chess competition hub.

All Saints Catholic Academy - Catholic

The BSA is gone from New Haven except for a PO Box in Milford, CT

they also have Yale.  

Here's the catch - preschool starts in New Haven at 2 years 8 months.  In Studio City it starts at 3 months.

Part of the plan of expanding I-5 to 39 lanes in the Carter era; without the extra infrastructure there isn't enough high class America for engineers and scientists to have children.  Meaning if we don't build the roads, the only choice is to shrink our population.

Anyway.  The thing is, and it is really the biggest point, even bigger than getting 4 polio vaccines by 6 like the CDC says, is your first birthday party is where you meet your lifelong friends.  Like the kind of friends you need if you want to overthrow the government in a coup!

Where early childhood development gets you:

[a href = https://www.musicdirect.com/music/optical-disc/van-halen-1984-numbered-hybrid-sacd/]

[img src=""] [/a]

 

 

Boston, MA

British International School of Boston - this appears to be the best, Boston has made changes.  This appears to be part of a 13 grade curriculum.  The Germans tried it and it worked.  They got good pay without going to college. - UK public?

Milton Academy  - private

Has famous universities Harvard and MIT.

Hoosick Valley, New York

Let me preface this, in order to prevent my readers from laughing too hard to survive, that the set for Xavier's school in the X-men movies is in Canada.

The real school that is most like it is called the "Hoosac School."  It is a boarding school.  It is Episcopalian.

The closes BSA council is Albany, NY which is quite a ways upstate.

I think I tried to make this the hub for Knowledge Masters, when Trey Reyher (Kristen's younger brother by 1 year) realized what I was doing he nearly laughed to death. 

Canada

Charles Xavier's School for the Gifted appears to be named Ashwood Glen.  Unless there is really something at Charles Xavier's School for the Gifted, the exact address of which escapes me.

There are a lot of good private schools in the NYC area so it's hard to pick one.

Lower Manhattan, NYC

Let's find one.  Lehman Manhattan Prepatory School.  See "preparatory" is in the name of what is supposed to be the best highscool in the country.

Aha, look what I've found.  It's in the Meritas family of schools.

• Léman Manhattan Preparatory School located in Manhattan, New York
• Collège du Léman located in Geneva, Switzerland
• Instituto San Roberto two campuses located in Valle Alto (Monterrey) and San Augustín, Mexico
• Lake Mary Preparatory School located in Lake Mary, Florida
• Léman International School located in Chengdu, China
• North Broward Preparatory School located in Coconut Creek, Florida
• Rancho Solano Preparatory School located in Scottsdale, Arizona
• Henderson International School located in Henderson, Nevada
• The Village School located in Houston, Texas
• Windermere Preparatory School located in Windermere, Florida

Joey Johnson and I thought this should be the hub of KMO because they had earned it as a member of the Meritas family of schools.

Centerville, OH

Centerville High School (public) - my home town!

Dayton STEM (public)

not sure why they put this here.  Centerville High School you can tell from the site description is one of the best in the country.  They could have learned more from Lincoln High School in Tallahassee how to run a public school.

The Miami Valley School (private)

Alexendria, VA (this is the DC area)

Thomas Jefferson Highschool - magnet

Champaign, IL

University Laboratory School (magnet) - I've seen a list of national prep schools and this is the school there that is famous

Academy High (private) - this and a few others make me wonder if the old rankings I saw left a few out

The Highschool of Saint Thomas Moore (Catholic)

 

Tallahassee, FL, home of the FSU Seminoles, there's more...

Lincoln High School (public) they kicked our butts in math competitions.  They also beat Centerville when Centerville tried to participate.  With Dayton and Wright State University in the areas Centerville is the considered the better funded school.

Centerville High School did send a team to Tallahassee.  Lincoln did consider them so abusive they should have been shut down.  Mrs Garland was shot 3 times.  At one point the Florida National Guard did open fire on the US army.  The next year it was the Swiss army.  They were there because Todd M Taly had to remain safe.

Some of said they were Swedish to prevent Evelyn Boetcher from punching them in the face.

McClay School - largest private school

Holy Comforter Episcopal School - largest perochial

Holy Trinity - largest Catholic

Emerald Coast (always a hotbed of unrest)

 Rocky Bayou Christian school (perochial with home schooling option)  The home schooling option is something you pay for, I think it is higher tuition rather than lower tuition than the standard $20,000/year.  It is in Niceville, FL, the name is the name of the nearby housing development.  Technically, I think Rocky Bayou is the name of our city and Niceville is the name of the township.  So our address should be Rocky Bayou. 

Niceville High School (public)

Choctawhatchee (public county seat)

World's whitest beaches in Destin, FL.  Much better for your feet in the summer.  You should still wear sandles on the beach.  There are reasonably priced weddings on the beach. 

 

Studio City, CA (township of Los Angeles, CA) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Studio_City%2C_Los_Angeles#Schools

The boy scout council is labeled "Van Nuys.'" Is that what this area used to be called?

Harvard Westlake (private)

I think they have moved the location.  It used to be in just the northern part of the Beverly Hills where there are a lot of parks and where it could be expanded easily.  I don't remember the middle school and highschool being separated by that much.

There is a BSA council close to Harvard Westlake.  Closer to the middle school part, Westlake, which is what the boy scouts are supposed to be.  In highschool, you are supposed to be working on the Order of the Arrow.

Campbell Hall (perochial) Costs more than Harvard-Westlake.  Used to have half the tuition it does now.  Was shut down briefly and came back with a higher price tag.  They do not have boy scouts compared with St Martin's in New Haven, CT.  

There is an Ultrazone Laser Tag in "Sherman Oaks."  I think its new.

Los Angeles, CA

Windward School - private high school, this place looks like a community college

San Diego, CA

This is one of the only cities with laser tag centers.  Recommended for ages 10-12.

Ultrazone Laser Tag has separated itself from the pack.  Looks like your own FPS.

Permanently closed?  No! Closed since 2020.

Invasion Laser Tag remains.  Every city has a bowling alley.  

Waldorf School of San Diego private high school

 

Spokane, WA (I'm trying to remember where a famous prep school was in the area and I remember this city as more important than most)

Gonzaga Preparatory School (private - er, Catholic!).  Actually, this is a Catholic school.  I didn't catch that.  I am a little puzzled.  Yes, the name Gonzaga is...startling.  This must be the main Catholic School.  I think "prep school" is supposed to be an elite school.  The other term I've heard is "feeder school."  Either way its a measure of measuring school quality by what percent of each class they send to the Ivy League.

Saint George School (perochial) listen to Iron Maiden "Flash of the Blade"

Spokane International Academy (magnet)

There are also a lot of Catholic schools in Spokane.

There is a Spokane Chess Club with scholastic competitions.

I remember some rankings of prep schools listing a private school in Spokane, WA as kind of a dud compared to University Laboratory High School or TJ in Alexandria, VA.  I don't see a pure private school listed there anymore.

Seattle

The space needle is in Seatle.

Lakeside School (private)

Uprep (private)

Seattle Academy (private)

Redmond, WA (Microsoft land)

The Overlake School (private)

I think the reason the remedial teachers kept pushing Ben to be on the KMO is that he claimed that double density and high density disks were the same.

The brain tourney team from NHS was Samantha Allen, David Barge, Andrew Burns, Theri Cook, Jack Landham, Alex Penn, and Ben Russell.

 

Edited November 24, 2023 by dnewhous