Can the US get out of playing in the World Cup?

[Onasander]

So a series of shockers have occured, the United States has discovered it has a male Soccer team, whose name and home location remains unknown. They better not be tax payer funded, but I can't possibly see how they are funded otherwise. Anyway.... its a logical paradox, unless this is some weekend amateur team of factory workers who noticed there was no national team, and just started showing up to international matches. Its like when tropical countries send someone to the winter Olympics.

 

Other big shock is.... apparently the world cup isn't just one match. I couldn't figure out how the US was facing Germany to win the cup (better be a big cup).... there is no way there are enough grown men in the US who know how to play soccer well enough to select a competent team capable of beating anyone.

 

Well, it appears we are playing to our strengths now. A bunch of members of the German team we (and by We I mean whoever supports the US team, not including myself as I dont watch Soccer) are set to play against have been hit by a car in Italy.

 

I suspect this is our underlining syrategy.... just prior to every match, a new tragedy will occur, untraceable back to the US, taking out the best players of opposing teams just prior to playing the match.

 

Heck, we will probably still lose. But it will give us a fighting chance.

 

Hopefully, we wont qualify for the world cup again for a few decades. Its deliberately effeminate and distracts the youth from pursuing real sports. Countries who are good at Soccer tend to require UN peace keepers to stabilize their countries.... lets keep foreign problems foreign, and not play soccer. No need to import such depravity here to the US.

 

I wonder if Hitler, Stalin, or Mao had a soccer team, or the Khmer Rouge, or Mugabe? Willing to bet bin Laden was a big soccer fan.

 

I only know the name of one team, Manchester United. I wonder if he like, knew all about them, and had opinions and team Jerseys, and would shout at the TV, watching excited for hours as the teams kicked the ball back and forth without any apparent intention to score. Bet Binny was a big soccer fan. Likely watched the Taliban Soccer Team in home games.

[Viggen]

...the US hasnt discovered only recently soccer, its already America's second-most popular sport for those age 12-24, outstripping the NBA, MLB and college football. I guess you just never noticed

http://www.espnfc.com/blog/_/name/relegationzone/id/262?cc=5739

[Onasander]

Not true, the kids here don't play it anymore than I did, which involves tossing a ball to kids during first grade recess and kick it around the edges of the basketball court. At least for boys. Now girls, they play it alot, I see them put in the field playing it. Its a very quaint, safe game that empowers them without actually requiring effort or contact, and since people only score accidentally, the stress of winning or victory is not priority, drinking Capri Suns, wearing long designer socks, and having your hair cutely bundled up is. Hence why its not a sport. There isn't even a real need for a ball, people should just run around waving at one another, with some douchebag tripping people and acting like they hurt them, not the other way around. That is what soccer is, the ball is pure propagandic distraction. A Simulacrum of a Sport.

[Eric]

Does this post technically constitute as trolling? Or does it fall under satire/general leg pulling?

[Viggen]

Hi Eric and welcome to UNRV...

 

I fear Onasander meant what he wrote, he has sometimes, lets say somewhat different views than most here