Melvadius Posted February 22, 2011 Report Share Posted February 22, 2011 I recently received one of those 'this was from last year' type joke messages which seem to circulate long after the 'year' in question - in this case it has been circulating since at least since June 2009. It is usually extremely doubtful that they relate to any particular year. I did a quick check and there seem to be several slight variations on this theme including the age of those claimed to have sat the test but a couple of the supposed answers in this version give potentially worrying slants on 'current' knowledge of the Roman period. BTW I cannot take credit for the comments after some of the answers - this is how it came to me. Read and enjoy - or despair: The following questions were asked in last year's GED examination. These are genuine answers (from 18 year olds)... and they WILL breed. Q. Name the four seasons. A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink. A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists. Q. How is dew formed? A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire. Q. What causes the tides in the oceans? A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight. Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist upon? A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed. Q. What are steroids? A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs. (Shoot yourself now, there is little hope.) Q. What happens to your body as you age? A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental. (At least they get to travel!) Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes. A. Premature death. Q. How can you delay milk turning sour? A. Keep it in the cow. (Simple, but brilliant) Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorized? (e.g. The abdomen.) A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I,O,U.. (WTF!) Q. What is the fibula? A. A small lie. (This person has a career in politics awaiting!) Q. What does 'varicose' mean? A. Nearby. Q. What is the most common form of birth control? A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium. (That would work.) Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Cesarean section'. A. The Cesarean section is a district in Rome . Q. What is a seizure? A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit!) Q. What is a terminal illness? A. When you are sick at the airport. (Irrefutable!) Q. Give an example of a fungus . What is a characteristic feature? A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like tiny umbrellas. Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its meaning. A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face. (OMG) Q. What does the word 'benign' mean? A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight (Brilliant) Q. What is a turbine? A. Something an Arab or Sheik wears on his head These people vote -- They are the future generation! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaius Paulinus Maximus Posted February 22, 2011 Report Share Posted February 22, 2011 ha ha very funny particularly like the "how do you stop milk from going sour?" question.....Genius! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kosmo Posted February 23, 2011 Report Share Posted February 23, 2011 Funny but the fungus one is correct. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maladict Posted February 23, 2011 Report Share Posted February 23, 2011 To be fair, some of those questions are just begging for silly answers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melvadius Posted February 23, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 23, 2011 While others, if you considered both question and answer phonetically (which our dear lords and masters currently consider the best way to learn English) rather than as written or even spoken with some accents or dialects, you can understand where they went wrong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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