Stonehenge Planning Application Found

[Melvadius]

This article under the (spoof?) title 5000-year-old Planning Application Holds Final Clue to Solve Stonehenge Riddle on the Heritage Key website is too good not to pass on although this is a condensed version of the full Newsbiscuit article:

 

On Midsummers day, while more than 20,000 gathered at Stonehenge to celebrate the Summer Solstice, it was revealed a long-lost prehistoric document was discovered at Salisbury. The fragile deer hide document will put an end to all speculations as to the Neolithic monument's purpose, revealing that the world's most famous stone circle was never a place of worship or a giant calendar. Rather, it was the centre of commerce for Britain's Bronze Age civilization, as far as 5,000 years back.

 

According to entertainment website 'NewsBiscuit', after extensive study, Oxford University archaeologists concluded that the document is in fact a 5000-year-old failed planning application for a vast covered market place. The finds shows that 600 stalls were to be constructed over a 200 acre site, with grazing facilities for 3,500 oxen and cart. The document further reveals that the Stonehenge development was never completed, for the planning application was turned down by the 'Local Council of Elders'. One of the reasons given for this was that the planners 'did not think that the developers used of imported Welsh stone was sympathetic to, or in keeping with, local architecture', as well as serious concerns over increased oxen traffic.

 

The find does not only solve the mystery of Stonehenge's function, but also offers new insight into the history of Druidism. Dr Amy Bogaard told NewsBiscuit: "We now know that Druidism is not a pagan religion at all. 'Druids' was actually the brand name of a chain of prehistoric pharmacists, the forerunner of their modern day counterpart 'Boots'". Further details on the 'discovery' and 'research' are available on the NewsBiscuit website.

 

The team of experts now hope that now they've solved the mystery of Stonehenge, the government will reconsider contributing