Lost_Warrior

ROTFL no you're not THAT crazy. At least not compared to me. I'm the Batshit Empress.

Yep. I talk to my plants. LOL They get doted upon hugely. I just got three more today. My rooms are turning into jungles.

I get those emails all the time. The funny thing is, I'm female! I asked a few of my male friends at one point. Turns out, they all get the emails for breast enhancement! Thought it was pretty funny, myself. Gmail has a good spam catcher. I rarely see them in my inbox.

If there is a line between "house plant" and "plant house" I think I'm about to cross it. Seriously. I used to not be able to grow ANYTHING but I now have...ten plants that are *definitely* mine, and my mom has I don't know how many that are *definitely* hers, and then there are a few we fight over... My most recent additions (this week, in fact) are a beautiful palm from the local nursery and a GORGEOUS sago palm. I LOVE cycads...and I certainly hope that my new sago loves me. I managed to kill one once before... This is my new Sago beauty: (Sagos, by the way, are not palms, they're cycads. Cycads are actually prehistoric conifers. They're absolute evolutionary marvels...they have not changed much at all in 200 million years! Now THAT is an awesome plant!) I spent today repotting some of my plants: my two African violets (well, three now. I divided one. It doesn't have many roots so I hope it survives...there were two crowded into a small pot in a way that they did NOT like, and so I have given them their own 'houses' to live in. ) and my 'gold dust tree' which is growing quite large since I got it last year. Tomorrow my...zebra plant? Is likely to get divided. When we go back to the nursery (I hope soon!) I hope they still have a Fantasy plant (I think it's a type of Draceana. I can't remember what it's called exactly, but it's got red and yellow and all sorts of funky colored leaves. I wish I'd bought one when I was up there before.) It's that time of year, when I want to bring nature indoors and I can never have too many plants. This year's collecting begins... I worked this morning, and then spent the day repotting stuff. I'm beat. I'm trying to get my mind and body both together in order to do my weekly ritual, which I'll do when the sun sinks a little lower.

Oh man, 'crashing' sucks. Hang in there!!!! Enjoy your weekend.

Ah! I see. Thanks.

Gasoline? I thought gasoline was a modern invention?

Apparently they're good like that.

Happy birthday!!! Don't party TOO hearty!

Thanks! It came from Webshots. Was on the front page.

Scary!!! I couldn't really understand the guy on the phone, but I think the charge to my card was somewhere in Mexico.

So I've been making my own body balm...yummy...Recipe Here. It's so easy even I can do it and the benefits of this stuff (over commercial products) so far have been WELL worth the effort (besides, I enjoy doing this). I made some mandarin first, and tonight, grapefruit and ylang-ylang. It smells SOO good (and it's a light scent...which I need because strong scents make me sick). I made some of it stiffer, this time, and put it in an old Lip Smacker tube. I actually had just enough to fill three containers, which was awesome luck. I ordered some more fractionated coconut and beeswax as well as some essential oils in order to make more. I'm thinking of putting an order in somewhere else to get more containers, and some loose herbs besides. I think the scent of grapefruit is REALLY helping my anxiety, just based on tonight's experience. Or else the act of doing something fully involved helped a lot, or both. I got some bad news yesterday: someone has gotten hold of my credit card number and tried to charge $757 to my account. The good news, well great news, is that Capital One caught it right away. Did not approve the charge, and is sending me a new card. I also got my windshield fixed for the fourth time yesterday, hopefully for good. *eyeroll* thank gods warranty is covering it. And of course, the thing that makes me REALLY happy, is today my boss showed me how to do some really basic, but pretty awesome (for me at least) things on the RoboDrill. He also talked a bit about programming, and said that if I stick with it and I like it, I can go to programming school. I was having a really articulate day and was able to pick up on what he was saying and showing me *very* quickly...and remember most all of it...which is really rare for me. I really think I would enjoy programming these machines (my two loves: metal and computers!). I've had a really good week all things considered. Some things not so good, but it's been far better than most of the past several months of hell. So I'm content...not really happy right now but content.

ROTFL that's good.

I should have guessed you'd pop in here and do that.

I've gone and created another blog. This is blog #8...my friends all think I've totally lost it. I guess I truly am a blogger at heart. Plus, wordpress is entirely too much fun. So without further ado, I give you: Tranquil Mayhem. I posted a recipe for an awesome (and awesomely simple) hair/body/lip balm. I love this stuff. I'm currently ordering supplies to make even more. I'm doing alright, today. Actually had a good day...it's the first day in at least a week that I've actually been able to relax, at least some what. Lately I have been literally incapable of relaxing, which really sucks. Anxiety is evil and vicious. I have my next appointment with the therapist on the 18th...my appointment got moved back due to scheduling difficulties.

Oh lords. When people do stupid shit like that, I don't ever know whether to laugh, be scared, be angry, or a combination of all three.

The deification of Roman emperors was actually pretty common. Most were not deified while they were alive (I do believe that there were laws against this in Rome proper...however many were "worshiped" in the provinces regardless). However many emperors were worshiped after their death, and quite a few have temples built to them. I think there were one or two who were in fact worshiped during their lifetime (was it Nero? Or Caligula? or both?). The worship of deified emperors was incorporated into the Cult of the State, the "official" Roman cult. (There were many "cults" in Rome. The word did not have the negative connotations that it does today. There was the Cult of the State, the Family Cult, the Cult of Mithras, etc...) Julius Caesar was in fact one of them.

GO FOR IT!!! Congrats! LOL It's scary to "leave the nest" but you gotta take the leap sooner or later! What better time/place to do it than Uni?

Yay!!!

I'm hangin' in. GO I prefer to use a little thing called common sense when dealing with doctors. Maybe you've heard of it. I think it's Latin.

YAY!!! LOL One more year...damn I have to wait another year? I can't use the "I was just a stupid teenager" excuse anymore, either.

Thanks guys. I'm actually doing quite well today.

It HAS been a while. My presence on all of my 'usual hangouts' has been greatly reduced. I'm sure you guys know that I've been struggling with some sort of depression...so here's the REST of the story. I'd been slowly 'losing my grip' for months now. Most noticeably since Christmas, when I started having panic attacks. Well, about a month ago I guess it was now, a very dear friend of mine became ill (he has a chronic illness) and was in the hospital for a time. Then I stopped hearing from him. Turns out, he was busy with work, but that is NOT what I was thinking. Mind, I was already 'losing it' and this was a LONG time in coming. But for three days about a month ago, I was in such a bad way that I nearly called off work to check myself into a psych ward. About a week after that, I nearly didn't make it OUT of the bathtub one Saturday night. I finally got the nerve to talk to my mom about it, and it turns out that this is largely genetic. Everyone from my great grandmother straight down the line has some sort of anxiety disorder. My great grandmother and grandmother are both on medication. Picking up the phone to call the counseling center was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. So these past few weeks I've been trying to hold it together, trying to apply for Medicaid, and all that happy horse crap. Now for the better news: I met with my therapist for the first time on Wednesday, and I have a partial diagnosis: Generalized Anxiety Disorder. She asked me how I felt about medication, and I said that I'm not drastically opposed to it (I used to be...but that first week changed my mind) but I would rather try other things first. I am going to be doing cognitive behavioral therapy (I only have a vague idea of what that is.) It's REALLY scary for me to talk to a therapist. I think I talked her head off just because I was so nervous...I am hoping that next appointment will go better, because, well, I'm scared. LOL My next appointment isn't until March 13th, but I do have some homework and I'm getting along alright. The best part is, I am not paying a dime for my treatment. The county is paying for it all. I'm feeling wordy today, so I am jumping back into the forums a bit.

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW OMG.

Yay!!! Happy Birthday!