When the assumptions that your reality is based on are yanked out from underneath you, you have to completely start from scratch. You will spend years of doubt and insecurity trying to put things back together, but nothing will ever go back together as neatly as it seemed to before. There will always be incredible contradictions that will seem too overwhelming to resolve, and you'll feel like you are running uphill on a sheet of ice. That's life though, thats the challenge that humans are designed to struggle against, and you just HAVE TO keep pushing. You are realizing something that empowers you beyond the people who have not had their phony social conditioning broken. There are many positive things left in life, and things that will bring you joy, but they are entirely different from the things that you've been brought up to expect and you will have to find them. You're not alone and you're not the only person to wake up from your sleep-walking, so don't worry.
Good luck with your bookpress, I've developed a similar interest lately, as well as an interest in 19th century literature. Drop me line if you want to shoot the s***.
Here's a copyright-free book suggestion for you: Philip Dru, Administrator by Edward Mandell House