Gaius Octavius

Sorry!

For the un-inducted, Kali4kneeya cheese burgers are composed of kumquats, avocado, and stoat snouts; the cheese is Moose Drool! On the other hand, Turks make theirs from pistachio nuts, honey, and goat hooves; the cheese from donkey milk. Anyone who would even consider eating any slops served up by a Turk, deserves any disease he will get.

Big Deal!

I paid $7.59 for a 4-pack. Had a cardiac infarction! You're responsible! I'll send you the bills.

Well? 24 hours are up!

My Good Woeman: Canolli is Sicilian. Sfoigliatelle is Neapolitan. My Brides canolli are not cloyingly sweet. 'Spicy' red pepper to flavor - not to destroy taste buds or to cover up the rat meat.

They were certainly on the minds of Pompeians. All shapes and sizes: http://www.unrv.com/forum/index.php?automo...si&img=1149 http://www.unrv.com/forum/index.php?automo...si&img=1147

Look on the sunny side. Good thing that you weren't stuck in the porta-john.

Jews are precluded from drinking wine? Lot? Cana?

Sorry for repeat,

There is no such thing as Italian turkey sausage. Only turkeys would eat that slops!

Donna Sophia, why do you do these things to me? Is it your object to have Ursus kick me off the board?

The telereverendos all maintain that this is God's vengence on you Brits for drinking tea rather than coffee! Was Fawlty Towers affected?

Once again, it is left to the god-Consul to set things straight. Pay attention! Some alleged 'people' eat sweetened up alleged 'food'. Some alleged 'people' eat hottened up alleged 'food'. The reason for this is quite simple. One will never know if he is eating road kill, condor, sea robin, or rat - and all rotten to boot. The next time you hear of someones cat having gone missing - beware! Now, God's people, i.e., Neapolitans, use spices to flavor fresh, uncontaminated real food. How can one tell what he is eating if it is so hot as to purge the plumbing system or so sweet as to turn the blood into syrup? Hah?

Right on C. These 'modern' buildings lack class because they are made of glass. Walls of cardboard. Filled with elevator shafts and engine rooms. They assault and insult the senses.

Once again, you prove my point! The aliens couldn't stand the 'native food' (pardon the expression), and neither can you, so you eat that oriental slops. Do you also eat bait (aka sushi)?

Thanks guys. Your plaudits are truly appreciated.

Exactly what I mean! No wonder that you people talk funny! I'd rather eat raw worms. One day all y'all will discover pizza and spaghetti.

You CIA types can't fool me. The Martians died off in Kent because all the earthquakes prevented them from getting their photon rockets at the proper angle. And the native food wasn't worth the effort. A CIA leak (no pun intended) has indicated that the U.S. aliens are from Uranus! One may see Uranus in the night sky. It is commonly held that one from Uranus became president! This scourge must be wiped away! No dialogue can be held with Uranus! As for the Welsh, they are aliens from Neptune. That is why the Leak is their national symbol.

Ghagghhh! Went in twice! Finsters!

Indeed, I should presume that you are. That's why you need an air conditioner!

Well, did you get the e-mail or not? Did it provide another alternate?

Some members of the Forum seem to have some minor problems these days. Really, nothing of any consequence compared to mine. Cogitate: My Bride was supposed to go on a cruise in the Carib starting Thursday last, for a fortnight. She was supposed to meet a gaggle of her pals from 10uhC and mis(take)again in San Juan, P.R., on that day, to commence their carousing. Since La Donna Sophia, and Lady Farrow were otherwise occupied, I made arrangements for Lady Jane (Bury-Me-In- A-"Y"-Shaped-Coffin.) Harrington to make her appearance on Friday. It was decided to leave the Imperial Chariot in the mud gutter rather than in the car barn so that I could take the wandering Bride to the airport. Now, I have a plaque that allows me to park on the wrong side of the street. Tuesday was a cold day, so I figured that the Chariot was lonely. I went down to turn the engine over and keep the Chariot company for a while. A good looking 'meter maid' hove into view and commenced to make herself important by minutely examining the stickers on the windshield. Whilst she was thus occupied, I noticed a squirrel take a leap out of the tree behind her. The little bugger climbed up her leg and took a nip out of one of her cheeks of shame! You can't imagine the hellacious racket she made racing down to the corner. Woke napping gargoyles. Startled the ambling peasantry. The little tree rat sat there looking at me and hunched his shoulders as if to ask what happened. Shortly, I heard the wailing of a siren and saw flashing lights. The squad car stopped behind me. Two flatfeets exited with the screaming meter maid. "Cuff him! Shoot him! He trained that squirrel to bite my personal coolie!" Little guy scampered up the tree; commenced munching on something, and took all in. The now sniggering cops asked for my side of the story. Asked them if they ever heard of a trained squirrel? Told them that it was probably a migrant Mexican dumper biting vampire squirrel. Cops cracked up (no pun intended). Meter maid made for one of their six-shooters. Failed, thank God. Told little guy acorns were in the usual place. Ahh, but this wasn't an end to my woes. Wednesday, the weather frauds looked into their crystal balls and decided that there would be a foot's worth of snow over night. Chariot to the barn; reserve limo. Naturally, the airline canceled the flight a couple of hours before lift off. There wasn't enough snow on the ground to make a decent snowball! Push panic button; commence to worry about Lady Jane and Bride crossing paths. Bride holds on for over an hour trying to connect with a human at airline. Gaius gets on cell phone and punches a number at which one may buy a ticket. Eight minutes later, problem solved. Gaius has a couple of shots of rum. Bride will catch Friday AM rocket. Close calls, but all turned out well. Lady Jane presently out purchasing her favorite wine. That is a true bill of affairs as they stand to the moment. Lord Black Adder

Let us examine this problem from an ontological point of view. As we all know, woemans have more rights and wrongs in these days of great unhappiness, than do those made in the image and likeness of God. Right? Right! So there must have been some lad out there who wanted to ask you out, but was too shy. Right? Right! So, you should have used your secret female ESP to seek him out, and then ask him out! That is what equality is all about. Right? Right! Alternatively, you could have gone to a rave or concert, etc. Right? Right! In my never ending efforts to set the world straight, you will soon receive an e-mail addressing the problem from a Global Warming point of view.