docoflove1974

Oh good...here I was thinking that ramen noodles in the store somewhere were wonderful. As for the cider, we have some amazing stuff, especially coming out of Oregon and Washington; I've heard others in New England are equally as good. They do tend to be about the same price as quality beer--say, $8/six-pack, or $4-5/pint at a bar--and I actually prefer them on many autumn nights. Widmer does both a pear and an apple hard cider, which are particularly good on tap.

It seems to me that dictators have a tendency to bluster about much right before they know the end is near. Mr. Assad fits the bill right now. Whether the Syrian people do the job, or they get help from the outside, that remains to be seen. A student of mine brought up an interesting point: is Silvio Berlusconi a type of dictator? He has been in office for nearly 20 years, in some form or other, which seems odd. Yes, I know that people have to vote him in (as well as his party), but I have heard Italians for years now scoff at their leader. Plus, it seems like he can do no wrong, that he still gets re-elected regardless of scandal or hair plugs. My response was that the voting process has made changes in the make up of Parliament, and that this make-up will bring Silvio down if he's not careful. In fact, I think his time is done; the changes that the EU are requiring him to make will be unpopular, and they will be the last straw.

That's the song I was referencing, Kosmo...I had Pandora set up, with the key song as "How Soon Is Now?" by the Smiths, and this version song came up. I *love* song...it came out right as I was entering college, and it caught me at just the right time. And thanks for the good luck...I need it

Saturday night...after a day of not much, but so much, I feel a melancholy shadow starting starting to creep in. Well, maybe 'melancholy' isn't the right word...definitely it's subdued in nature, and even has elements of uncertainty and doubt in it. This cloud, however, does have a silver lining. My main teaching gig has me going in different directions. Various groups are asking for my time and effort in order to accomplish a variety of goals. Sure, it's an honor to do so, as they genuinely seem to be interested in my talents. And since it's all in the name of 'college community service', I'm doing many a good deed, in the hopes that it pans out in the end. Will it get me somewhere? I have no idea. But considering I have an interview in less than 2 weeks for a full-time, tenure-track position at another campus, and I have told precious few at work about it, well, who knows. By the way, the interview for this job has me teaching in both Spanish and Italian, the latter of which I have never taught and, admittedly, I'm rusty. But I can do this. I know I can. I'll be telling myself this for 10 more days, too. In the mean time, you'll be able to find me occasionally in the corner, freaking out momentarily, before I put the self-doubt aside and get to work. It's a weird sense of split-loyalty that I'm feeling right now. On the one hand, I have zero guarantee that I will get a second interview at that campus, let alone that I'll be granted the position. So part of me says, hey, you have to still focus on your current employer. On the other hand, for all of the work that I have done for them, I'm now running into a massive wall of bureaucracy, one which is seemingly unprecedented on our campus, or at least in recent memory. I'm on the precipice of change, and I know it. I'm not afraid of change, rather I want it, seek it out, and embrace it. And yet, because my professional fate, as it were, is in the hands of many other people, and I'm being told that my merits will carry me to wherever it is that I'm going, I'm incredibly nervous and edgy. Not that I want to control the situation entirely, but I'd like to know if I have a shot, or if I'm proverbially pissing into the wind. I know it's normal to feel this way, but it doesn't mean that I have to like it. Wow...I'm sounding like a spoiled brat. Or a whiner. Damn, Sarah, quit yer bitchin!

To each their own. The funniest part of this now is when a younger student tells me that they've loved U2 from the early days...Achtung Baby

You must have different cider than we have. Ours isn't $2/bottle, nor is it that bad. Then again, the pot noodles here aren't very nice.

I will readily admit it: U2 is perhaps my favorite band, and certainly in my personal Top 5 of music acts who have musically impacted my life. I was ready to write a blog entry about what's going on in the Eastern Mediterranean and North African, making comparisons with Post-Franco Spain and pondering the future of these newly-freed peoples, and suddenly started playing my entire U2 collection. (iTunes is great for that, doncha know.) Of course, in doing due diligence, I looked up the video. Oh my, how long ago was this song released??? I know I remember this performance at Red Rocks of the same song...I remember seeing it on MTV as a kid, and being struck by wonder. I loved the song...had a na

Meh, they're marking it up again...the wine, that is. Surely James May has taught you lot that there are a good amount of inexpensive stuff that we produce. Two Buck Chuck is the least of it! (Of course, the you got stupid Oz Clarke trying to get people to buy the $20-40/bottle stuff.) As for Ah-nuld, he's too busy shooing off former nannies and working with his lawyers to see how much Maria is going to take

I'm not entirely sure, Ursus, just because everything needs to be played out. My hope is that the modern tradition of moderate thinking continues, but one never knows.

So it seems that Col. Gaddafi--or, as --has met his proverbial maker. Obviously, most Libyans (and perhaps others in North Africa) are elated at the thought that their former dictator is no longer in any position where he can control their every moment. And, from what the reports are suggesting, one son is dead, and the other is in custody. I truly hope that all of this is true. Call me a cynic, but we went through this before with this family a couple of months ago, that 'the reports' said that the Gaddafi sons were in custody after the fall of Tripoli...only to re-appear later, tongues sticking out and taunting the world, "nah nah, yoooooou didn't caaaaatch me." And while Ol' Moe wasn't exactly buddies with Saddam Hussein, the latter did have numerous body doubles, and I would guess that Gaddafi would pick up the same habit. After all, you can't be too careful when your ass is on the line. The reports are sketchy, at best, and not confirmed as of 1pm PDT, but it sounds like he was delusional until the very end. He really thought that he would be able to sneak out of Sirte undetected by NATO. Guess not, eh? I think it's safe to assume that most know that the new 'transitional' government couldn't be able to gain full legitimacy from their own people, let alone others in the world, until the Gaddafi family was completely eradicated from power. So here starts the new chapter in Libya. Will it be a prosperous one? Will it be a moderate one? Will it be a peaceful one? Will it be a repeat lesson of history? Lord knows...but I do hope, for the sake of the people of Libya, that it is truly representative of the people, whatever their wishes and desires may be. So...the Wicked Witch of the East and West (of the Arab world) are no more...who's next?

Feh, not hardly likely. He could run for Senate, but I have a strong suspicion that after the state of the State once he left office, it won't happen. You can't stop us...you can only hope that the SiliValley geeks and Hollywood airheads stop multiplying...and that's not looking very likely. Thanks to Mr. Jobs and Mr. Gates, geeks have never had it so good! On the other hand, I have dreams of running a winery.

I see that, once again, California is ahead of everyone...we've been using 'chillax' for about 5-10 years. No sunglasses needed, but a park or a beach works just nice. Also in California: Santa Cruz Boardwalk, with the best arcade room ever. An entire wing of nothing but our favorite games from the 80s. I'll sit there and play PacMan for ages...but then the siren call of the pinball room calls my name. And the rest of the Boardwalk, too. Methinks you need to come out here and claim your land, Lord Caldrail. Not that you'd be able to find many jobs, but you could also park yourself on a beach and let your mind go.

You're right, Melvadius, that preparation is key. But those with test anxiety usually over-prepare, as they are so worried about failing that they cover every single possible angle, not just those that you lay out for them in a review packet. They display a high-strung nature normally, but that gets ramped up big time before and during an exam. And it doesn't matter what kind of exam it is...it's the pressure situation associated with the exam. These are people that will start to freak out on a small quiz...and God help them if there's a surprise quiz in class. Test anxiety isn't about being a bit on the slow side, or about lack of preparation. It's about true, paralyzing anxiety, the kind that most of us don't feel on a regular basis. These people are incapable of relaxing their mind enough to take an exam properly.

That was my weakness: huge stage freight, even when sitting at my desk. I had zero self-confidence, so when called on to give the answer to something, or when I had to give a presentation, I freaked. That changed my last year in college, as I gained more self-confidence, and my fear of speaking subsided completely. Of course, no one who knows me now believes me!

Well, I think there's something there...that education methods have changed over the years. When we were kids, no one knew what ADD/ADHD, test anxiety, or other 'behavioral' issues were, and those kids were often dealt with. Those with learning disabilities like dyslexia (which is really an umbrella term for so many visual learning disabilities) were often just cast aside into the 'special kids' classes, which only held them back. Test anxiety is something that, like I said, I was oblivious to before I started teaching. Either there weren't many people who suffered...or they coped in ways that weren't obvious (medication, for example). Another side is that many students in college try to 'go without' their special status...all through high school they are forced to get special help, extra time, etc., and they often feel like in college they have to try to go on their own. It's something I support them on, although usually they tell me what their learning disability is at the beginning of the term, so that I can work with them throughout and monitor them. Sometimes I end up telling them to go back to Disability Services for their special permissions...other times, I don't. It depends on the severity of the disability.

There is nothing that makes an instructor-type person feel more frustrated and/or helpless than to watch a student, who you know is well-prepared and otherwise studious participant in all areas, collapse emotionally while taking an exam. You sit there proctoring the exam, and you see said student freak out--be it crying, sweating profusely, or their eyes start growing to the size of flying saucers. You can't, by protocol, do a damned thing...you can't tell them anything, you can't give them extra time...nothing. And you know that this person studied, perhaps even over-studied. Worse yet is when they tend to excel in every other area, but when an exam comes into their presence, they can't handle it. Their brain goes into hyperspeed. They start to hyperventilate. Telling them to "just keep breathing" or "calm down" actually works in reverse, making them panic even more. Will the others in class notice? What if I fail!? Holy )(*()_)(&_) And then the tears tend to fall. In over 12 years of teaching, I've come across most all of the standard and uncommon learning disabilities. Most all of them, either I know a few teaching techniques to help the students, or I can recognize elements that I can address. But test anxiety...ugh. Not only can I not combat it, I don't even understand it. See, I always loved exams...ok, ok, 'love' is too strong a word. But I never did shrink from them...they were simply puzzles for me to play. Or to BS my way through, either way tests are challenges, and I like challenges. Sure, I occasionally was nervous (see: PhD comprehensive exams), but never having panic attacks. So for me to council a person who suffers from test anxiety, well, would be like a professional skydiver to council me on my fear of falling when up on a high platform. How in the hell can you empathize properly and not sound condescending?? This week was midterm week...well, for me, at least. All 3 of my main courses had their midterms. Thursday's class is a special group, with personalities that shine and eager pupils who want to know everything about everyone. One of my honors students was freaking out a bit, but was still upbeat. Then, halfway through the exam, I heard a lot of heavy breathing...like someone was trying to calm themselves down. I looked around, but I couldn't figure out who it is...and in a room with 9 students, it should be easy to do. Ten minutes later, I hear the even heavier breathing and sniffling. I look up, and my honors student is doing the sniffling. But knowing that she suffers from allergies, and the pollen is thick right now, I don't know if she's suffering an allergy attack, or what. Another ten minutes go by, and I see that there are tears rolling down her face...and the sniffling is being stifled unsuccessfully. And my heart sinks. She ends up being the last to finish...and I technically gave her an extra 5 minutes, seeing as no one else was in the classroom, and no one would know. Once she turned in her exam, she started sobbing...the listening comprehension portion of the exam freaked her out and got her off rhythm, and so she felt like she ran out of time. After talking with her for a few minutes, trying to get her to calm down a bit, I started the slow walk home. I really didn't want to grade her exam, fearing sections of blank whiteness. Eventually, it had to be done...I had to start grading the exams from that Thursday class, including that of the honors student who freaked out. As I went through the exams, including hers, I found that she wasn't doing that bad...yes, she had sections where she fouled up, but not so much that there was incomprehensible Spanish. Yes, she ran out of time, but there was no catastrophic or epic fail. In fact, as I totted up her score, she passed...barely, with about 4% to spare, but she passed. At that point, I felt a tear streak down my cheek. Edit to include the PS: Last night, after writing this, I emailed the student to let her know about her grade...I never do this, and make all of them wait until I pass the exam back. But I let her know how she did, and what I think the next steps are. Within 20 minutes she replied...and happily. I can now enjoy the weekend

Heh we get ours pretty much either from Alaska or Hawaii. Of course, we haven't been blustery, as you described in today's entry. And we're about to get rained on this afternoon, before hitting 80'F by week's end.

I hate white flies. The damned things are just evil to plants. Pure evil, I tells ya. They attract other pests, they often set up a scenario for mold to creep in. Not to mention the fact that they are a true infestation...if you don't spray pesticide on a continual basis, they'll just keep laying eggs and ruining your plant life. And they're all over my plants. And have been all summer. I have been using malathion for most of the summer, with some success. It's worked a treat on the tomatoes, for example, but not so much the verbena and cucumbers, and almost nothing on my herbs. The bad part about using malathion is that it's a poison...as in, it's a carcinogen for humans. It breaks down after 5 days, which is about how often I harvest the tomatoes, but if you ingest it over a period of time it will wreak its havoc. And to be honest, it hasn't done that bang-up of a job. My dad gave me this organic insecticidal soap--a better product, in that you can spray your garden and still harvest them that day. It was much better than the malation...but I still have a ton of the poison left, that I feel weird just chucking it in lieu of the organic alternative. And I'm not the only one having this problem; one of my friends in the next town over is having not just a white fly infestation, but beetles. I guess we got too much rain over the winter and spring, and this coupled with the mild summer evidently gave the green light for insects to swarm. Dammit. But, hey, at least I finally have a cucumber to harvest. Naturally this happens a week or two before I planned on pulling the plants, so that I can start the fall/winter planting. *sigh* On a brighter note,

Not to mention the Visigoths in Iberia, who seemed to adopt many Roman customs fairly early, and seemed to use Latin and/or Iberian-Romance almost from the start in their documents and daily habits.

Heh in parts of the US, you're free to bring home your own roadkill. It may not be the best of eats, but you can go for it.

Heh it's funny how people are acting, too. At his home in Palo Alto (the next town over from me) there are people leaving flowers. The Cult of Jobs, as I've seen a few news agencies dub it, was big...I mean, yes, he was a game changer, and anyone dying in their 50s anymore is 'too young', but still it seems a bit much for my taste.

Ummmm...perhaps your weather and mine here in Baghdad-by-the-Bay are connected? We were warmer than usual for October, then jarred into winter again, with cold storms the last 2 days. But starting tomorrow it's going back to normal: warm.

Heh glad I inspired you! My iTunes is eclectic, to say the least. Perhaps I've been in a nostalgic mood lately, hence the 80s/90s synth-pop blast. Watch, that'll change shortly enough.

The sexier traditions are best...then again, as a California hippie/surfer girl (hah), it's what we do best, and without worrying about social convention or stiff-upper-lip-edness. Just let your mind go, and your body will follow...go with the flow...yadda yadda yadda. Regardless, it's the least that these wenches could do...after all, you *are* Lord Caldrail.