caldrail

What is it about Christmas? All of a sudden the town center is full of people ambling about clogging up the pavement. Millions of them. They're everywhere. Where do these people come from? Is there a warehouse somewhere that stores them until the festive season? Are our motorways clogged every year by mass distribution of shoppers? Someone in town called out to me. I couldn't see who it was given the swarms of shoppers sweeping majestically across the road. She used my real name which is something increasingly rare these days. Omitting the usual taunts and insults, I've been called Gary, Paul, and Alan. UT of course has called me Alfie. At my previous job, there was a jovial woman of afro-carribean origin we shall know as Miss J, who for some unknown reason decided my name was Alfred, a name which stuck and became my nickname there. I asked Miss J why she called me that. She said - "You look like an Alfred". Ask a stupid question. So as usual, I enter the office to collect paperwork for the days stock check. "Sooooo.... Alfred..." She would say as soon as she spotted me, and then she would ask personal questions right in front of the assembled staff going about their business. Did I detect some interest here? I did indeed, and for the period of my stay there my boss, DS, considered me betrothed. Don't get me wrong, Miss J is a friendly sort, but you know how something raises hairs on the back of your neck? Ok, I've no reason to believe she's a cannibal, nor is she an axe-murderess, nor does she keep giant mutant spiders as pets. So why did DS smile mischievously whenever Miss J wiggled at me? Strange Goings On In Rushey Platt Up until now I always doubted Santa existed. Not any more. Today I spotted one of his minions, a green clad elf in a blue van, driving through Rushey Platt. I gave him a salute, and he returned a big smiley grin. Now I know. The North Pole is a clever ruse to put investigators off the scent. The real location of Santa's HQ is Rushey Platt. Ideally placed in central southern England with easy access to the motorway. I have a horrible feeling I once worked in his grotto without realising. It would explain a few things... STOP PRESS!! Santa has been spotted! Yes, its true, he was seen just now obtaining money from a hole in the wall machine. I knew I was right. That means he must have parked the sleigh somewhere near here.... But not at the car dealer with a Ferrari 360 in the rough part of town. Apparently I can come back when I've got

Awwwwwww that was kind of you. Cars like Maxie don't drive off the end of production lines every day I'm afraid (at least, not unless you're a premiership footballer). As for my sanity - who needs it? What is sanity anyway? How do you judge someone sane? Its a viewpoint, a biased observation, a comparison to a fixed standard, which kind of suggests we're all judged against a subjective 'normality'. I on the other hand don't care to much for being restricted to peer acceptability. I therefore cannot be considered normal, and must therefore be a raving looney anyway. Since no-one else is exactly like me, I therefore must conclude that everyone else is basically nuts too. Apart from DS, who's been to the Nutty Club and obviously has been cured of her looniness. Not that you can actually see any difference of course...

There I was, blissfully asleep after a long night before, woken by my mobile phone. Its AD, asking me if I wanted to come in on my day off. No, not really, but one has to make sacrifices to impress the boss (don't really want to be dumped by the roadside again). So, hungover and bleary eyed, I trudge into work to find that AD has decided to take the day off and so I must assume command of the operation. Lorries turn up to collect our goods but don't know what they're supposed to be taking away. I don't know which vendor I'm supposed to be supplying. Daily and seasonal picks delayed by our move are now going live. Where's the pallets? Where's the shrinkwrap? More containers coming in and I can't subject them to qualtiy control because our machines are stacked up in the racks. Not that it matters, we still don't have an office. Has AD done this on purpose? Is this some sadistic trial by fire designed to forge the ultimate manager? Stay cool Caldrail.... Oh no, not another stock query.... Obituary of the Week Its with some sadness that I must announce that my poor car, Maxie, is been put in mothballs, probably for disposal at some future date. The various unrequested modifications and mechanical defects, not to mention an engine that is now solely responsible for global warming, has meant that getting it through a Ministry of transport Test is all but too expensive. She's going to be a hard act to follow.

There are posts on these forums dealing with roman food if you care to do a search. I would have thought though by 500AD that roman food had become simpler, with less accent on the clever dishes designed to resemble something else (a pastry pigs head for instnce) which delighted well to do diners.

Its a case of differing military philosophies. Roman generals were happy to accept high casualty rates if it secured the victory they were after. After all, there were plenty potential recruits to be had back home (usually, anyway, apart from the punic wars and a slight case of panic by Augustus) For the medieval nobility however, there were only so many men in high places, all of whom were expected to be warriors. Its noticeable that during the period there were men being knighted after the battle, to maintain numbers. As for the staggering loss, how about this? - After the crusaders had finally assaulted and taken Antioch (1098?), they found themselves trapped in the city without any food and water by a turkish army. One young crusader (Peter Bartholemew) produced a spear and claimed it was the very spear that had pierced the breast of Jesus. Suitably inspired, the half delirious knights sallied forth in small numbers and charged the turkish army, routing them completely without loss. Does that put the medieval armoured horseman in perspective? Ok, its an eye-opener, but they didn't always have it their own way. During the march toward Antioch a great many of these men discarded or sold armour, possessions, and animals in order to survive. Some were riding donkeys by the time they got to the holy lands. Or perhaps during the Agincourt campaign when french knights were entangled in mud by virtue of fashionable cloth adornments to their armour, and easily dispatched by the opportunist english commonry.

What might be worthwhile is asking re-enactors for their opnions. Granted they don't actually hack each other down in cold blodd, but they do have first hand experience of handling confrontations and equipment. They may well be able to fill you in on practical details.

It may seem that way, but essentially there's little difference. Many roman politicians weren't installed by such dubious means, and the reason why we stress the ones that were is because of the scandal involved. Whereas an ordinary unexceptional politician achieves position normally and doesn't make waves, a ruthless, even murderous politician is hardly going to escape notice. Although I believe roman politics was inherently more corrupt than today (though you have to wonder sometimes!), if you think about it, today we still have smear campaigns, political assassinations etc. Its just now with modern detection and policing its a bit harder to get away with it, so there's a deterrent involved.

Oh no, I'm melting.......

Thats the tragedy - its not a rust bucket at all, its a very clean Eunos with a relatively tasteful aftermarket body kit fitted. I'm on low earnings at moment (thats what happens when your previous boss dumps you by the wayside) so its going to be a while before I surrender to instinct and buy something equally ridiculous - and by the way, I notice as I walked home tonight there's a 360 Modena for sale at a car dealer (in a rough part of town no less!), selling for

Who should I bump into today, but AS. This guy is reliable, a good worker, and a good communicator. Ok, he likes his tea breaks, but at least he does something useful in-between conversations. He used to work for SB in the Hangar, now he works for our new host company, and a lot happier he is too. Thing is, AS is annoyed at Big H, who sent a text message on his mobile phone to the effect that he was in the Hangar. Then he sent a text message to tell AS he was working in the office. Then he sent a message to tell AS saying he was burning his old clock cards. Then he sent another text message. And another. And Another. And so on. Twenty five messages an hour. AS took a break, got in his car, drove over to the Hangar, found Big H, and told him to stop it, before returning to work at peace with the world. It appears Big H is keeping the market for mobile phones very healthy indeed. The americans can rest easy however. Big H has been denied entry. Not only does he like keeping people informed about current events in the Hangar, he also has a fondness for matches. Now they tell me. Public Performance of the Week As is typical of my car, it decided it didn't want to speak to me anymore and jammed the drivers side door again. This time right in front of the gatehouse and the security cameras. Squeezing in through the passenger side door is definitely the way to make an impression, don't you think? Despite another public performance from yours truly, YouTube still hasn't turned me into a superstar. Life is so unfair...

I don't have enough info to help you directly, but you might want to take a look at the organisation of the Comitia Centuriata, whose top band were the 'cavalry' of peoples voting assembly and were to become the equeatrian order. Perhaps this might point you in the right direction?

Today has been my first day at the new warehouse. Poor old AD can't cope, there's no official office for us yet (Its a portacabin buried behind stock in another unit nearby) and he's got nowhere to plug in his fridge and microwave. Now there's a man with priorities. At the moment, our office is a pile of pallets shoved into one corner. Cool. Especially in winter... And what a site! Its huge!! Enormous!!! They give you a map when you sign in at security and boy oh boy do you need it. Warehousing units everywhere, lorries to-ing and fro-ing, forklifts shuttling around looking lost. A very busy place, and given they're supporting local car manufacturers, it isn't suprising. So far I've learned how to negotiate the front employee door. But not the second, which I discovered was only an old door propped up against the wall, and after it fell on me, thankfully without anyone noticing, I managed to locate the rest area. Such pit stops are a necessity of warehousing life. But hats off to our new hosts, they're very helpful and so far I haven't had to glare angrily at any of them as I walk past. Talking of SB, there were rumours he'd applied for a job with them. He's been a supervisor for years and years, pretty much doing his own thing in the Hangar. Now thats closed, he must join the real world and discover that sunshine doesn't hurt. His only problem is how to get a well paid warehouse supervisory job looking like a coal miner. We shall see. Road Hump of the Week Yes, those mammoth obstructions at our new site are truly awesome. Automotive Mt Everests, which my poor old Eunos struggles to negotiate. I grimace as something expensive grates on the asphalt ridge, proving beyond all doubt that off-road vehicles do have a place in Britain. Just one. And no, I still won't buy a 4x4, because my body parts are large enough already thank you. Thats my story, and I'm sticking to it.

Me? Last year I bought a 'grey import ' Eunos Cabriolet, a older car that had been reworked for track days and ran like a formula ford. Even had one of those napoleonic twelve pounder exhausts, which I think are fundamentally naff, but what a glorious noise it made. Sadly, someone nobbled the car and its a now a complete lemon.

Possibly, but then why do you assume there will be a WWIII? The last century was overshadowed by a conflict of ideology that began in 1914, arguably because everyone had prepared for mass-mobilisation and that once the balloon went up, no-one could stop the process for fear of creating havoc with the carefully prepared railway schedules. There's a stroty that Kaiser Wilhelm ordered champaign because the 1914 war had been averted, only to be corrected by one of his generals who pointed out that it wasn't possible to stop the movement of so many troops. The war of 1914-18 had consequences that led directly to the second. There was a newspaper cartoon that showed Clemenceau leaving the Versailles peace talks and commenting that it was strange - he could hear a child crying - and the child was labelled 'Class of 1940'. How prophetic. The facist/communist/democratic struggle in WWII led directly to the Cold War which lasted until the 90's, a struggle of political domination and much sabre rattling, with the full scale war ironically averted by the threat of mutually assured destruction. Its interesting to note that both democratic and communist sides were convinced the other was ready to invade and conquer. There is also a sobering story that during the Cold War, the soviet defenses registered an all out nuclear attack from the US. The commanders were within seconds of ordering a retaliatory strike but for a lowly lieutenant, who convinced his superiors that the alarm was only faulty wiring. It isn't so ridiculous to regard the Cold War as WWIII, given that military conflict was played out in third world countries with surrogate armies in many cases, and in theory, given the situation in Korea, one of the few last embers of WWIII still smokes to this day.

Trouble is though, this guy is the only person in the world to have discovered these techniques in the last few thousand years? So why would we believe the egyptians or the stonehenge builders did anything similar? Truth is, he's an original thinker and very gifted in terms of physical mechanics. Plus, I suspect, his education in the modern world enabled him to take this next step. Of course I could be wrong, and we're all dunces compared to those ancient master stone-manipulators. How could we possibly know which is correct?

Cars mean different things to different people. Many buy cars they can afford, others buy cars for covenience. Some buy big 4x4's to compensate for small body parts, some for status at the golf club, others buy sporty cars as automotive *iagr*. Now some cars are icons, others are good value, some are simply excruciating and an embarrasement to be seen in. Why would you pay thousands of pounds for somewhere to put a coffee cup? The Vauxhall Vectra is right there at the pinnacle of naffness. There must be thousands and thousands of these blasphemies cruising up and down dual carriageways carrying salesmen to their next petrol station. A salesman who used to work for a Vauxhall dealer informed me they were liable to fall apart. I know of one whose gearbox fell out and DS owned one that was incapable of retaining a numberplate. As I've mentioned before, DS, the frivilous boss I used to work for, believes her Vauxhall Vectra is a desirable car. Thing is, she got promoted for driving one. Seriously. The last company I worked for has this concept that all their senior staff must drive these incredibly dull cars in order to remain incredibly dull people and therefore acceptable to their incredibly dull customers. Well... DS can hardly be described as incredibly dull, but she is an incredible actress. She claims its all down to personality. Thats an interesting way to describe curves. Funny thing is, the really important bosses at my previous company tried to tempt me with a Vectra shortly before they pushed me out. They let me sit in front, they showed the sat-nav in operation, they gunned the engine, and demonstrated the suspension by driving over road humps. Wake me when you're done please... Trouble is, I like cars that are fun to drive. You know, responsive engine, blistering pace, firm ride, sharp steering, flat cornering, looks to die for and a seating position so low you need a winch to get out of the thing. The sort of car that in modern british culture puts you on par with the Dukes of Hazzard or Jack the Ripper. Ha! Tempt me not with your mass production saloon! I shall not be swayed by this icon of greyness, this symbol of.... "Ok Caldrail, you had your chance. Out you go...". And they drove off leaving me stunned on the pavement. Time to thumb a lift to the Dole Office then... So children, if you want to get ahead in the workplace, buy the same dull car as everyone else. That way you can afford to buy them.

Women like them make it worse for us normal lads too!

"Their drills were bloodless battles and their battles bloody drills". yes this quote keep emerging, its from Josephus's account of the jewish war. We know the romans did practice large scale fights occaisionally, even building temporary forts to practice siege warfare, and i can imagine the men were drilled hard. Of course they were, warfare fought face to face is a tough gritty business, one for which you need a certain mindset, and the romans were under no illusions about the reality of combat. An important observation is that this quote was applied to roman legions at that time. What the romans did stress was a need for physical training. That was why they trained with heavier practice weapons and shields, to accustom men to using weighty objects and to build strength and endurance. Its also true the romans were far from merciful. Once the decision had been made to assault a settlement, its inhabitants could expect a sword thrust into them. There's an interesting passage from Josephus that describes the capture of Jerusalem. Huge numbers of civilians were slain by rampaging troops, not too unusual for romans, but at some point even they became tired of the endless slaughter. Those lucky enough not be killed were either sent for slave labour in Egypt or the the provinces and an entertaining death. That psychological state in their legionaries was the aim of training too, because it not only made the men more frearsome, it also acted as a deterrent against resistance from the enemy by reputation. Roman pyschological warfare was far from sophisticated - it didn't need to be.

I don't usually like to sound sexist, but I've decided that after many years experience, women bosses are useless. Why? First is DG. She rose to power on the basis of impressing the male managers with her knowledge and expertise of our database workstations. Actually I don't think she knew that much - she was just better than most of making a big thing of it. Anyhow, she became the warehouse manager. All very smart and efficient, but she never left her office. The whole warehouse got to the point of collapse when she emerged one day and asked - "Whats going on?". She was also the person who left a briefcase in the foyer and sparked off a bomb alert involving police, the fire brigade, and a bomb disposal team from the army. Ok, everyone, you can go home now.... Or BB. Bless her. She was a rising star in the offices and they brought her into the warehouse for experience. One day she gathered a few of us long-timers and sat us down. "Right" She said, "I want you all to oversee stock control, and I want to sit down together each day and discuss any issues and resolve them amongst each other, and..." I stopped BB in mid flow. B, I said, whats the point? There's no issues to discuss and if we need anything, we just ask someone. BB stared open jawed at the alien concept of co-operation, then said "Yes, but I want you to discuss your issues....." Lets not forget DS. A dizzy blonde who cannot retain her balance in social situations, a woman for whom no frivolity was beneath her. A woman who turned the office into a practice range for elastic band missiles, whom I personally wrestled for possession of her golf balls (which she had been banging on the desk - why? What did you think they were?). A woman who sacks anyone who doesn't join her crowd of admirers, and a woman who has spent time in psychiatric counselling (nicknamed the 'Nutty Club' by us minions). A woman who believes a Vauxhall Vectra is a desirable motor car. Luckily she's also got a memory span that a goldfish would pour scorn on so now that she's sacked me, I can relax safe in the knowledge she's already forgotten me. How to be patient The telephone rings. I fall off the seat clumsily and pick up the receiver to speak with a bemused delivery driver who can't find my address. Not too suprising, since the address was incorrect. Is that typical for imports through Ireland? No matter. The driver was given the correct address, and I awaited my software eagerly. At 15:00 hours (approximately) I begin installing the package. Gone are the days of multiple disks and hefty instruction manuals, all you get now is a DVD. At 16:45, I realise the install procedure isn't going to be quick. Good job I'm patient. The progress bar has hardly moved. I decide to wander off and do something else in the meantime. At 21:38, the install dialog brings up a message saying "Processing Help System. Help is being installed. This may take an extended amount of time". My desk soon develops several dents and my head hurts... 00:35 and all is well! Its installed! Yahoooo! (thump) zzzzzzz.....zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.........

Yep, that sort of thing happens in merry England too. As kids, we were hugely amused to learn that a certain blonde teacher had unwittingly gotten off with a student. Mind you, I don't think she was particularly worried judging by the big smirk on her face. The woman was shameless. However, I doubt too many of us would have volunteered for that sort of detention with her. I think in most cases the female teachers are well aware of the effect they have over hormone laden lads and treat it with reasonable caution, but every so often, human chemistry interferes... and... another paycheck to a jouirnalist.

Be careful with Vegetius. He's writing about traditional methods of training which weren't current in his day. There's no guarantee that all the methods described were applied to each individual legionary in any case, and there must have been some variation in the quality and extent of training provided according to who ran the legion and the circumstances of the time. For instance, if troops were needed desperately, then much of this training schedule would have been dropped. In periods of extended peace, its also likely a lot of this training would have been viewed as unnecessary by some some commanders and men given alternative, more useful duties.

No, I didn't see that, but I'm aware that women in some moslem societies get a raw deal. Two hundred lashes is a very harsh sentence though. British soldiers of the American War of Independence era were named 'Bloodybacks' for the punishments meted out for even minor transgressions. According to my information, one hundred lashes was potentially fatal, and wasn't always delivered in one session. There are some interesting points in that womans fate however. Notice that she's held responsible and therefore guilty, that a woman of good character and common sense would not have been raped in the first place, and that she must have in some way tempted the man to wrong-doing. I would be curious to know what happened to the man, how important he was in Saudi society, or how influential the families concerned were. It does seem to me that Saudi opnion is that women are inherently 'bad' and need to be contained as a threat to societies well-being, which if I remember right is a very old and traditional viewpoint common to the middle east. There are some nasty or duplicitous women around (I've bumped into one or two in my time) but isn't this a case of being tarred with a brush?

It is pretty obvious that Sejanus wanted power in Rome, and was using Tiberius's authority to achieve it. Tiberius was a funny sort of guy, he just didn't seem to like people, something of a loner? When Sejanus offers to take away some of the strain of leadership, Tiberius is only too willing to let him have it. Was the empire run badly under the Tiberius/Sejanus regime? Its true that many leading romans were eliminated from competition at that time, but that doesn't mean the empire was being badly run, although one does wonder if the loss of talent at the top was starting to make itself felt. By this time, I think, the empire was running on momentum quite happily. Had things been allowed to continue of course, Sejanus would have assumed control and I suspect he had a fair ability in organisation, albeit a reign that might have ended quickly as did with other tyrannical emperors.

GO, try this... http://www.bonannocoins.com/blog/index.html

Thats it, my last day in the shed. Big H was friendly and almost engaged us in conversation! Especially with AD, who he never forgave for comparing a sheepdog as his dad. First time those two have spoken in twelve months. I notice an english teacher got arrested in Sudan for allowing kids to name a bear 'Mohammed'. I get called names all the time but no-one arrests them. I'd shout back at them but under british justice the poor dears would get me arrested for breaching their peace. On the news last night they reported that in numerical memory tests chimpanzees beat human beings. Comes as no suprise to me. I get demonstrations of human intelligence every Saturday night. Conspiracy Theory of the Week Apparently this year the humble hedgehog has been observed in huge numbers - particularly for this time year. Its proof of Global Warming I tell you. They're thriving on our sub-tropical winters and unleaded fuel. Nothing stops them, not even their carbon footprints. We now know they breed faster in wet weather too, because the July Floods forced them out of their little hidey holes and made them to act together to survive. Don't laugh, you have been warned... The Hedgehogs Are Coming!