caldrail

There's a tree in Savernake Forest that I know of. An unremarkable tree at first glance until you discover how old it is. That old fella was sprouting out of ground, fresh from the seed, roughly the same time William the Conqueror was striding ashore at Hastings. That day in 1066 changed everything. From that point forwards, England and France would be uncomfortable neighbours, no doubt made worse by the Germanic roots of the Anglo-Saxons. Of course now we're on good terms, despite my successful attempts to enrage my French teacher as a child. Nobody else liked her either. It's an instinctive thing, this antipathy between the British and French. Even some of our insults derive from our little upsets. The English two-fingered salute originated from medieval archers who taunted the French by showing they still had their bow fingers - the French had taken to cutting them off every time they caught one of them. We don't fight wars with the French any more, and to be honest, I'm a bit old to annoy French teachers now. Instead, we have a rivalry over language. A couple of decades ago the French created legislation to stop their countrymen using anglicised words in everyday conversation. They felt it was poisoning their traditional language. Imagine then my suprise when I see on the news that the French government are encouraging the education of English in their country. How times have changed. I watched as their schoolchildren underwent physical education classes entirely in English. They have free lessons and language camps out of term time, just to learn how to speak our tongue. The pervasiveness of the English language is something we take for granted. Usually when an Englishman encounters foreigners who don't understand him he simply shouts louder. Despite this traditional English ignorance of foreign languages, I did learn some French at school, inbetween annoying teachers. On an industrial visit to France back in my college days I had many opportunities to display this mastery of conversational French. I don't know if the bus driver actually understood me or not, but he took my money anyway and I arrived back at the hostel safe and well. As for the toilet cleaner we asked directions of, I can assure him we did find the Harbourmaster later that day. As for that idiot I tried to buy chocolate from - I wanted two bars of the stuff, not to haggle over the price. So I got to shout louder at a foreigner after all. Phone Call of the Week Talking about communication, I got a wierd phone call the other day. I found it on my answering service, three minutes of wheezing and a distant voice asking "Are you done yet?". My phone tells me there was no phone number, so I'm inclined to believe I have been contacted by aliens from the Planet Zarg who want to abduct me for sex. Thanks for the call guys, but lets stick to taking you to our leader, yes? Oh.... They've hung up......

What you have to understand is that domesticated trolleys you find in supermarket car parks are tended to by trolleyherds, but that sometimes trolley rustlers make off with them and invariably dump them in ditches, and thats despite devices to keep them shackled to their home carpark. Its a growing problem. Numbers suggest trolleys aren't an endangered species but their cruel treatment by some shoppers is ubelievable. I hope that in some small way I have made you aware of the plight of the Lesser Spotted British Trolley.

I've recently made a big deal about Bincknoll Castle. I was under the impression that it was another hillfort, albeit much smaller and a possible fortified farmstead. It turns out that in the Wiltshire listed monuments its described as whats left of a medieval motte-and-bailey. Apologies for the mistake (I'm not an archaeologist!)

According to my studies of discarded shopping trollies, based on statistical information gathered over twenty five years, not one shopping trolley mated and bred offspring. Some do flourish in their damp and muddy home however, as weeds and sediment will tend to build up around them thus creating the perfect enviroment for the urban trolley. Trolleys do like ditches though, and I have seen at least one with a thriving population of four trolleys living together in an adonised community. Brings tears to your eyes.

I think the excuses had more to do with political credibility of those supporting campaigning in the Senate. Rome never excused itself to other nations, nor was there an international forum for such disagreements.

The Romans fought wars for the same reasons everyone else did. Security, resources, territory, politics. Sometimes it was justified, sometimes it was greed, sometimes simply personal ambition of the leader, or that he needed military victory to remain popular.

In general, there was increasingly a trend for military units to go private, to secure regular pay by operating as mecenaries contracting to defend communities rather than act as part of the Roman legions. Particularly after Adrianople, tribes were hired as troops for the Romans, the feoderatii, which was becoming a looser arrangement than the strict treaty it had once been. Archaeology shows the adoption of barbarian style arms and armour. Now whilst that doesn't necessarily mean these weapons were any worse than those used before, it does mean that the Roman forces were not well trained in their own, thus readily adopted those they were more familiar with. It also implies the late empire system of equipment was not functioning well. Vegetius - he wrote De Re Militari as a guide to what the Roman legions of the late Empire should be doing, not what they were, and he hints in the text that soldiers of his day weren't as impressive as those of old. Further, he refers to legionaries as being 'unprotected'. Now whilst he exaggerates the problem (according to archaeological evidence, which admittedly isn't as accurate as we'd like because the sample is too small) there is a correlation - many late Roman soldiers had no armour. Many Roman units were no longer commanded by 'Roman' officers, nor even trained to fight in Roman tactics. Marcellinus - In Res Gestae Libri XXXI Ammianus Marcelliuns describes the Adrianople campaign. By and large Marcellinus doesn't criticise the efforts of Roman troops, but there are hints that things weren't as well organised as they might have been. Units act impetusously and seem to have little steadfastness. Valens had made prodigious efforts during his stay at Melanthia to rouse the troops to any enthusiasm for the forthcoming fight at all, especially since the Goths had already massacered Roman forces under Lupicinus and Maximus, and there's little sign of any desire for revenge. Zosimus - A particularly damning statement comes from Nea Historia, as in book four he describes the preamble to to the Battle of Adrianople. Sebastianus, observing the indolence and effeminacy both of the tribunes and soldiers, and that all they had been taught was only how to fly, and to have desires more suitable to women than to men, requested no more than two thousand men of his own choice. He well knew the difficulty of commanding a multitude of ill-disciplined dissolute men, and that a small number might more easily be reclaimed from their effeminacy; and, moreover, that it was better to risk a few than all. By these arguments having prevailed upon the emperor, he obtained his desire. He selected, not such as had been trained to cowardice and accustomed to flight, but strong and active men who had lately been taken into the army, and who appeared to him, who was able to judge of men, to be capable of any service.

The big deal in Britain at the moment (apart from our economies disappearing act that is) happens to be the plans for the expansion of Heathrow airport. Now that the airport is operating at 99% capacity they want an extra runway which requires the demolition of two nearby villages and the loss of seven hundred homes and businesses. If they want more landing space, why not use the River Thames? The Americans have shown it can be done. You have to hand it to the pilot of the Airbus 320 that made a smooth arrival on the River Hudson. His skill at the controls certainly saved the lives of the passengers and crew, and in modern airliners with big engines hanging under the wings, such a landing is potentially disastrous. I also feel some sympathy. Whilst I've no doubt the man would simply he was only doing his job, the media circus wants a hero. Amongst the people who shouldn't be called heroes are sportsmen. Scoring goals or points doesn't quite involve life or death risk in a selfless effort to save others. Come to think of it, I guess the politicians supporting the Heathrow are not exactly well-regarded in some circles right now. It's not just the poor people who stand to be turfed out of their homes, but also the green lobby who deeply resent any increase in carbon dioxide. Its hard to empathise with the green lobby. Their movement has all the overtones of religion and lets be honest, although they give their own lives meaning by striving against enviromental issues, they would think nothing of foisting their views on the rest of us. Rather like the government that wants to demolish seven hundred homes without giving anyone a chance to persuade them otherwise. Heroes? Only in their own mind. Religious Intolerance At Home The news item said that a Christian bus driver refuses to drive a vehicle with an aetheist slogan "There's probably no God". Why? Does he normally say three Hail Mary's and close his eyes before flooring the pedal? Personally I don't see his problem. He does believe in God doesn't he? So what difference is a slogan going to make? Does he really believe people are going to take any notice as the bus rumbles past and fills the air with thick black diesel fumes? People discover their own God for all sorts of reasons. Bus slogans aren't one of them. Headline of the Week Our newspaper ran a story concerning a housing estate in Swindon. Abbey Mead and its drainage ditches are now a dumping ground for supermarket trolleys. Gasp! Surely not! Actually, West Swindon as a whole has been a dump for shopping trolleys for more than twenty years. Maybe I should have mentioned it earlier? Sorry.....

Where's Britain? Catalina Island?

Cleopatra was an absolute gift to Octavian. Marc Antony had sullied his image irretrievably with his association with her. In one respect because he was following in Caesars footsteps and thus potentially attempting to be 'king' of Rome (& Egypt - it was still an independent nation then), but also because it meant an oriental monarch was to be a partner in power. Unacceptable to many Romans on both principles. I do read that she got to see Octavian shortly before she ended it all, and one wonders if wasn't piling on the charm with him in a last ditch effort to save her skin. If so, then Octavian saw straight through it.

Aw Doc.. Surely you're not misunderestimated too? I sympathise, because I have been a victim of multisegregational misassessment and outright omni-oppressive mis-selectation for years. Its a tough world.

There were also moneylenders, and personal hoards, which were sometimes buried for one reason or another thus the money was lost. The trouble with trying to estimate the size of the Roman economy is that most asssume it worked the same as todays, with some degree of central planning. It didn't. Money was minted for all sorts of reasons, the accession of a new emperor for instance. Money was also leaving the Roman economy for foreign lands due the the empire's need for luxuries or entertainment. There was also a large degree of local investment by the wealthy in their community. I think you have to move away from a centrel planned economy such as we see today and look at the Roman economy as a network of smaller ones all paying tax - it was therefore, a 'feudal' economy.

Apparently farmers in Sub-Saharan Africa will benefit from detailed digital maps of soil nutrient quality. At last they'll know why their farms are not doing well. Isn't technology useful? Perhaps not, considering the Skycar, a para-sailing dune buggy, currently setting out on a three thousand mile journey across Africa. These skycars are ridiculous. They proved it was a daft idea back in the fifties. Can you imagine the telephone calls from frustrated motorists? "You have reached Traffic Control Helpline. If you wish to reserve a parking slot, press 1. If you're hopelessly lost over southern England, press 2. If you want to declare mayday, press 3. If you want to speak to a Controller, press 4..." Press 4.... Aha, the tone is ringing. "Yes Sir." Ah Right. This is Mr Caldrail of 22 Acacia Avenue requesting clearance for local flight to Jones Industries routing via the Primary School, over. "Roger that Mr Caldrail. Taxi to main road and hold short, weather is 23 degrees and light rain expected, please be aware traffic is heavy and currently you are number thirteen at the roundabout." Thank you Control. Roger and out.... Now kids, stop messing around back there and buckle up your parachutes.... Johnny! Stop hitting your brother with your oxygen mask.... No, we're not there yet.... Its Your Fault... No Its You... The squabble between Russia and the Ukraine concerning gas supply goes on. Someone didn't pay, someone didn't supply, someone cut the supply again, someone sent gas through the wrong pipes... Meanwhile, people in Europe are freezing. Having suffered some low temperatures this January, I have every sympathy for those without heating at this time of year. The problem with the Russians is that they have a reputation for pulling wool over peoples eyes thats well deserved. It seems the Ukraine has learned that lesson, but you can't help feeling this is a squabble over cash. Not so much whether people get paid, more about who gets paid. For the moment it still goes on with accusations flying back and forth. Are we there yet? Wagging Fingers A statistical study has suggested a link between the link of a man's finger and his success in the financial center of London. Good grief, did someone get paid to research that? Seems to me that Pinnochio has already proven that financial success is more dependent on the length of your nose. Slogan of the Week I shall take George Bush's advice and not misunderestimate Hilary Clinton. She gets Slogan of the Week for telling America that their foreign policy should employ Smart Power. What a fantastic piece of politics that is. When you look at what she's suggesting, it means they're going to do exactly the same as before but now they have a plan.

We're a little spoilt for Top Gear. The program, or its 'Best Of' repeats, goes out on Sunday nights on the beeb whilst every single possible past episode is shown back to back on cable. (gibber)

You just have to love the Goths. Whatever their faults as a people, on balance the accounts left by Romans (and some of it is very biased in the Goths favour) suggest a decent people bar one or two bad apples such as you get in every society. Rambuctuous for sure, but there's more than a hint of a spirited and lively culture for all its rudeness.

The extent of Roman activity in Germania is hinted at throughout accounts of the period, so whilst there's definitely room for archaeological research and a refinement of our ideas, rewriting the history books? Not yet.

Mondays are the curse of modern civilisation. In times of yore, men of Englands Green and Pleasant Land woke from their slumber and stirred when they felt like it. Then along comes the hated miller and with the Industrial Revolution behind him, invented working hours and the tyranny of the clock began. Now you might say that as an unemployed person I don't suffer from Monday-itis, but you'd be wrong. Required by the state to earn my paltry handouts by looking for work, I must also observe the movement of people that is Monday morning. Or at least I would had I not injured my back. Nothing dramatic I'm afraid, just simple strain and a careless reach. Getting around was a trial because the injury was sending spasms of pain down my spine. Very uncomfortable, and had it not been necessary for me to go about my business, I would have stayed at home, no doubt further persuaded by the fact that the British weather is changing and warming up, bringing with it incessant rain again. Pain and rain. I'll have to chalk up another victory to Monday morning. Legislation of the Week It seems that the government of Papua New Guinea (they have one?) is to create new legislation to outlaw sorcery based murders. This is a nation that has an official in every village whose title is 'Rambo'. I kid you not. They may not have left the primitive world behind, but they sure have embraced Hollywood.

Mr Palmer, the leader of East Lindsey District Council, is unhappy. Strange lights have been seen in the Midlands sky for a while now, and now a turbine blade from a wind generator tower has been ripped off near his turkey farm. He wants the authorities to look into the recent UFO activity and in particular the damage they caused to one of our turbines. The Ministry of Defence however has shown absolutely no interest in the goings-on, telling us that they won't investigate unless they perceive a threat to our nation. You can see the logic - the turbine isn't dangerous to anyone any more. Now you can speculate about space aliens deciding to experiment on the wind generators in order to discover their breeding habits. I wish they'd tell us, because these things just keep on appearing overnight. Or perhaps they are telling us? Maybe they've realised that all those corn circles haven't got the message across, and are now resorting to direct action to save the Earth from destroying itself with renewable energy? Hmmm... Lets see.... No, I don't think it's down to alien activity. I hardly think enlightened alien creatures are going to travel hundreds of light years just to visit the Midlands. So what caused the damage? Well, experts have suggested the blade spontaneously disconnected - insurers claim it happens five or six times a year - so you'd think someone would fix it properly. But the dodgy repair work still doesn't explain the initial damage. I think I have the answer. Mr Palmer need look no further than his very own turkey coup. I suggest to him that his turkeys are escaping on a regular basis, and that one wasn't very good at flying. There. Problem solved. Except... Who taught the turkeys to fly? (Cue theme tune from X-Files) Justice of the Week The kidnappers of that oil supertanker hijacked off the Kenyan coast demanded a colossal ransom for it. Eventually, they were whittled down to

One of the less desirable features of humanity is their tendency toward organised violence, which is really only an extension of our social animal instincts. One facet of this is in every age, despite all the knowledge and wisdom gathered and educated, young men still want military glory and blind themselves to whatever reality they may have heard of. No matter what happens in the future, mothers will still weep as they wave goodbye to their sons. The problem being of course, if you don't defend your freedoms, someone eventually takes them away, hence the need to fight. And so the cycle continues. We do laud courage in battle nonetheless. Those who have sacrificied their lives in defending their country are respected and sometimes remembered. The Romans were of course no different, but then their society developed from tribal raiding and they were that much keener on status derived from military service. During republican times, it wasn't unknown for irate senators to open their togas and display war wounds to the assembly, declaring that they had fought for Rome - it gave them credibility as individuals. Their society was very tolerant of violence. It was expected that young men, even of good birth, would wander the streets in gangs at night and waylaw passers-by. Boxing was a sport where you pummelled your opponent in brutal and bloody fashion. The pancration, an imported greek style of wrestling, was no holds barred fighting apart from biting and gouging of eyes (and even that took place). The fights that took place in the arenas are of course well documented and the Romans remain the only culture I know of that used lethal violence for public entertainment. We often read of Roman military capability but the word 'professional' as applied to post-marian legions is a little misleading. It means professional in terms of career or service as a vocation. What it shouldn't mean is that the Roman soldiers had a professional attitude similar to armies in the modern west. The average Roman soldier, despite the harsh disciplinary regime he had entered into, wasn't always as obedient as modern soldiers. Whilst the patriotic sentiment we associate with modern armies did exist in Roman legions up to a point, he was loyal to his commander, not the state. Vegetius wrote a manual in the late 4th century which is often quoted from, describing the various training methods used by legions and we do see parallels with the modern world we are so familiar with. However, these descriptions are an amalgam of what happened in prior times, and Vegetius collated that collection of activities to write a manual of what he thought the legions should be doing. The conclusion is the Roman soldiery weren't as well trained in the 4th century as they had been, and that training wasn't as formalised nor as all-encompassing before that. Roman recruitment required that recruits were of a minimum height, of good health, and of a background considered physically and mentally capable of soldiering. They didn't take just anyone (although it istn't clear how choosey they were in times of emergency) and they got a sort pyschological superiority from that. One feature of the ancient world that remains different to our own, at least those of us in the law-abding modern west, is the ever-present danger of life. Three fifths of Romans died by the age of twenty through various causes (violence being one of them) and they were as civilised as it got in ancient times. It was a brutal age for everyone and whilst we look askance at the Romans for their tolerance of it, we need to understand that violence and warfare was never far away in those times. It was part of their lives. They accepted it, they accepted the risk, and even then, Roman soldiers of hard-bitten mindset trained to fight and kill on order would nonetheless feel the same fear and nervousness that we do today, and just occaisionally, you read in descriptions by ancient sources something a little more human than the glorification of military success. It seems the Romans were human after all.

Every fort had a vicus, a civilian settlement next door that serviced their needs. Evidently ciilians had a worthwhile relationship with the military supplying goods and services, and like any modern garrison town, a fair degree of trouble. Evidence from Vindolanda suggests that the pace of life for mid-empire legions in peacetime was somewhat lazy. Although the harsh discipline existed, much depended on the commanders charactr and the centurions who administered punishment and kept order. Never forget the legions were corrupt. Bribes were commonplace, and this must have affected how they did business outside the fort. Sources also suggest that legionaries were not above 'requisitioning' goods when they felt like it. A soldier usually needed only to brandish a sword to persuade the outraged citizen that compliance was a good idea. Typically, the soldiers stuck together like glue when accused of crime and the officers were none too keen to have their men punished at the whim of civilians, and its also suggested that civilians who did complain often got a right beating for their trouble. We have therefore have men in a world apart with close knit groups trained for violence and physical labour, with a potential threat of severe punishments for infractions. Without doubt this gave them a different mindset from their civilian neighbours, but remember also that thesemen were chosen for service by virtue of their fathers profession, and those from physical and 'manly' occupations were preferred. The men would very likely be from a different part of the world, foreigners in Roman service, with a different cultural background and more than once the Romans recruited amongst warrior tribes for the same physical and psychological military values. I think civilians would cower if they had reason to fear soldiers, most however would simply give them a wide berth.

Roman superiority at sea in the first punic war wasn't due to better crews or ships. The vessels were merely copies of carthaginian ones, and therefore as good as or no better. The crews had little experience of seamanship - the Romans were never great mariners - and were only recently trained. One real advantage the Romans did have was the corvus, a gangplank on the prow of the ship, which dropped when the Roman galley rammed its opponent and provided a way for the Romans to use their infantry to fight a 'land battle' at sea. The corvus did however tend to make a ship unwieldy at sea so the idea was dropped later on, the Romans having gathered enough experience of battles at sea to fight as other nations did.

I'll bet you wouldn't! Reads this - Its by Ammianus Marcellinus, an experienced soldier, who wrote about events surrounding the Roman defeat at Adrianople in ad378 But when the barbarians, rushing on with their enormous host, beat down our horses and men, and left no spot to which our ranks could fall back to deploy, while they were so closely packed that it was impossible to escape by forcing a way through them, our men at last began to despise death, and again took to their swords and slew all they encountered, while with mutual blows of battle-axes, helmets and breastplates were dashed in pieces. Then, you might see the barbarian towering in his fierceness, hissing or shouting, fall with his legs pierced through, or his right hand cut off, sword and all, or his side transfixed, and still, in the last gasp of life, casting round him defiant glances. The plain was covered with carcases, strewing the mutual ruin of the combatants; while the groans of the dying, or of men fearfully wounded, were intense, and caused great dismay all around. Amidst all this great tumult and confusion our infantry were exhausted by toil and danger, till at last they had neither strength left to fight, nor spirits to plan anything; their spears were broken by the frequent collisions, so that they were forced to content themselves with their drawn swords, which they thrust into the dense battalions of the enemy, disregarding their own safety, and seeing that every possibility of escape was cut off from them. The ground, covered with streams of blood, made their feet slip, so that all that they endeavoured to do was to sell their lives as dearly as possible; and with such vehemence did they resist their enemies who pressed on them, that some were even killed by their own weapons. At last one black pool of blood disfigured everything, and wherever the eye turned, it could see nothing but piled-up heaps of dead, and lifeless corpses trampled on without mercy. Roman History Book 31 - Ammianus Marcellinus The battlefield isn't a pleasant place to be is it?

And of course Hamas is only too pleased to get Israel into trouble, which was the entire reason for firing rockets. Using the population of Gaza as human shields is a tactic arabic nations have been using for some time for no better reason than the propaganda victory it creates when the other side unwittingly kills civilians dropping bombs on a military target. Israel though knows full well the civilians are there, but since Israel regards them as harbouring Hamas activists, it feels justified in collateral damage to ensure the safety of its own populace.

A hint about the manners in polite society perhaps? I think Claudius was being nothing more than open-minded and making allowances for unfortunate lapses, and whereas some emperors may well have used it as an excuse to demand strict behaviour, Claudius was more congenial. Regarding Suetonius, its difficult to say whether he was trying to criticise. Suetonius had a 'warts and all' approach and included all sorts of eyebrow-raising anecdotes. Certainly he was writing to please an audience that enjoyed such imperial gossip - the same phenomenon goes on today in the tabloid press - but to me it seems thats all it is, and that Suetonius isn't trying to besmirch their name for any personal grudge or dislike, but rather because it made his history more entertaining, and notice that while he writes this, his tone remains (or tries to remain) impartial.

There are people who think I do nothing but sit at home playing on my computer. Don't let them upset you Computer, they don't understand.. Ahem... Well, anyway from to time I drag myself away The great outdoors has an appeal for many of us and I'm no different, so occaisionally the urge to see over the next hill takes hold. I decided to get up early and hopefully catch some evocative sunrises or whatever. To my disappointment the weather was dull and cloudy as I left home at six in the morning. Pretty cold despite the lack of frost, but lets persevere. As I turned a corner onto the deserted High Street in Old Town, I suprised a pair of urban foxes. One hid behind a car and scarpered. The other ran away and darted down the same alleyway to the car park I intended to pass through. As I got closer, it glanced around the corner, then pulled back. A moment later it did the same thing. Sorry, Mr Fox, but I really am going that way. It ran off. There was plenty of snow around but not too slippery. I followed a country path across the valley and on toward Chiseldon. It gets pretty spooky walking through the countryside in pitch dark with only the snow on the ground to stop you wandering into a frozen lake. Once past Chiseldon and out into the Marlborough Downs, the first dim light was making itself apparent. So was the weather as it began to snow. Funny - I thought the weather forecast was cloudy sunshine? Don't you just love British weather? Another funny thing is how wildlife seems to know when human beings are locked up safe in their warm brick caves. Out there amongst the hedgerows and fields, foxes, hares, rabbits, all manner of birds gaped in suprise at this idiot out walking on a very cold morning. I did see some deer tracks but the animal was too wiley to get seen by me. The climb to Castle Farm Hill was pretty tough though. A cold wind, a deeply rutted track, frozen ground and fresh snow made going hard. I was puffing like an old man when I got up on the ridge. No comments please. Pics of Yesterdays Expedition The pictures make the Downs look like an isolated and rugged landscape. It is. Not as much as it once was. Over the forty years I've visited the area, I've seen it farmed more intensively and yet it still seems empty, almost wild in places. Thriving communities lived there in ancient and prehistoric times, and only wooded bumps and eroded earth banks are all thats left. They were certainly fitter than me. Helpful Comment of the Week This dubious accolade goes to the security guard at the library yesterday after I got back, cold and tired from my travels. Ok, I was still in my hiking gear and didn't exactly look like I'd escaped from a fashion magazine, but the young idiot made a reference to my appearance as a reason for my single status. I wonder who I'm supposed to impress? An eighteen year old security guard who's life experience amounts to dealing with acne? Who exactly am I supposed to meet out on the downs in the grip of winter? Probably that young lady learning to be a truck driver who walked past me at a petrol station. Tight jeans and leather boots. I kid you not. I guess my olive green military surplus doesn't cut it with the fairer sex now World War Two is over. Perhaps you need the american accent as well?