caldrail

At the risk of overstating the obvious, I'm sure anyone can understand that presenting the accumulated insight of pure speculation as established facts is too unrestrictive and misleading, to say the least; after all, potentially any ignorant guy can do that. Then again, anyone might also understand that if you don't investigate possibilities, you learn nothing new. For instance, I might say that it's possible the Romans built a settlement by that tree over there. Gut feeling. Your response might then be not possible, because there's no evidence or literary basis for a settlement to exist there. You might be right. The settlement might not be there at all and I've wasted my time. On the other hand, I make a new discovery, get my face on television for five minutes, and become unbearably smug. Under no circumstance whatsoever would I ever deny the possibility of things, even though on occaision commonsense tells us the possibility is remote. Otherwise, history is a stale subject akin to memorising a dictionary. You can't make discoveries unless you speculate on possibility. Incidentially, the Notitia Dignitatum might well be a list of dignitaries, but the list includes military commanders, their units, and their stations. That comes under the heading of assets as far as I'm concerned, and indeed, the entire list of dignitaries could be viewed in the same manner.

The Notitia Dignitatum was a list of assets. It covered a whole range of stuff. Also, due apologies, it seems I was incorrect about Aella. He did land in Britain in 477 but his attack on Pevensey was 492 as Scylla stated. Thanks to the Anglo-Saxon Chronicler for sorting out that little error. Sorry to hear about the monastery. Hope the insurance covers it.

My first clue to the importance of the day was spotting the library security guard. He's a portly chap, walking with a pronounced sway, sort of like an oversized chimp. He was carrying a bunch of flowers. Never in my life have I seen him look so incongruous. I couldn't help asking him if this was part of his usual duties. He chuckled, but I think what he really wanted to do was punch my lights out. Later I went to the library for my daily dose of internet goodness. What is going on? The interior of the building was festooned with white balloons. Library staff in gothic and dickensian dress. Pretty normal day then? I asked one librarian, a woman whose normal seriousness was replaced by a bizzare black and white wig, what was going on? She smiled. Ye gods, she is a human being after all! It seems the Library is a year old. I heard the Mayor of Swindon and his retinue making a speech downstairs followed by polite applause. Everyone else sat slack jawed as they played card games on their computer screens. How time flies when you're having fun. Baby Fair Walking through town yesterday afternoon I was noticed by a pair of young mothers and their ubiquitous baby buggies. One turned to the other and made a scornful comment amount my credibility as a sharp dressed man. Well, at least she was discrete about it, and in all honesty, I wasn't overly bothered. I've heard worse. Mind you, her bog standard unmarried-mother-of-one uniform could do with a makeover. So could her ridiculously crinkled offspring. Then again, the child was behaving itself. A little further on a young girl, maybe five or six years old, lay on the pavement screaming purple-faced at her mother to pick her up, as her parent shook her head in amused non-compliance at her childs very explicit command. The little girl kept on screaming. I hope those tantrums get sorted because otherwise she is going to grow up an unbearably spoilt bossyboots. Like she is now, but driving a BMW to the schedule on her laptop. It so happened I spotted an advert pasted on the plywood protection on abandoned shops. Baby Fair. This Friday. What on earth is that all about? Buggy races? Sponsored potty training? Screaming contests? Not that I'm worried. I won't be allowed entry on account of being more than two feet tall. Or is this fair something more commercial? I can imagine a dampened street, wooden racks with canvas shelters overhead, and lines of bemused infants making random limb movements. A grizzled old babymonger shouting his sales pitch to the passing throngs. "Babies for sale! Get-cha babies here! Two and six a dozen! 'Owbout you Sir? Present for the missus. She'll love this bundle of fun. Quality babies... You can't get these at Harrads... Prices so low I'm almost givin' 'em away. And you madam? Come on, don't be shy..." Cloudscape of the Week From the second floor lounge of the library I get a good view over Regents Circus, a connecting road in central Swindon. Better still, there's little to impede the view of the sky. Today is another grey and indifferent vista of mediocre clouds hiding the sun, with the sky turned white by icy layers high above. Yesterday was completely different, one of those uncertain days of sunshine and showers. The sky was blue with a faded pastel grey layer, and tall bulges of cumulus lit in deep contrast by the late afternoon sun, and together with their dark ragged satellites drifted menacingly by. A bright rainbow arched across in front of the scene. It was genuinely beautiful to see.

I blame the Moon. That lump of grey cheese hanging over our heads does all sorts of crazy things to human beings. Now it seems the guys at NASA have decided to plan ahead for more manned missions there. That new Aries 1X probe isn't going to be cheap. It's a lot of cash to spend to find a little buried ice on a rock two hundred and fifty thousand miles away. Is this a good thing? On the one hand, I'm thrilled to bits that NASA haven't given up space exploration, despite the obvious danger and potential failures they might encounter. For a human being to send himself into a dark enviroment he couldn't possibly survive in at such distances, with so little chance of rescue if things go wrong, is inspiring. It really is. The spirit that made sailors cross seemingly endless oceans, risking falling off the edge of the world (or more usually, crew mutinies), has always been the stuff of legend. Take those hardy Vikings. They sailed out to Iceland, Greenland, even as far as Newfoundland if current thinking is correct. There are some people who believe some Vikings migrated as far as South America. They did this in open row boats. A modern reconstruction was sailed from Norway to Ireland as part of a celebration a few years ago and the crew suffered horribly even in relatively calm seas. Those dark age adventurers were made of stern stuff. The problem of course is that other side of human endeavour that remains somewhat more selfish. Conquest and wealth will be part of the human pysche for as long as we exist on this earth, because it's an extension of our natural instincts and a major reason for our success as a species. NASA are hoping to reach Mars, setting foot there fior the first time. That would be a stunning achievement. Nonetheless, when it all becomes a mundane part of our lives as space explorers, writers, and dreamers often so wish, we will eventually bring with all the human foibles we despair of at home. Most of us are familiar with Star Trek and its successors. There's a wonderful underlying optimism to these theatrical tales of science fiction. So much so that the concepts are almost imbedded in our culture. Could we really build a benign and unselfish federation of worlds? We're lucky. The chemicals that combined to make life on Earth are everywhere in the universe, but the conditions in which it could start and thrive are extremely rare. Our planet is one in countless others that couldn't possibly support life. I wonder how many of us are thinking "Ahh, but that's life as we know it..." Good luck to NASA and the astronauts who will sit on top of a metal cylinder filled with explosive substances that will hurl them hundreds of thousands of miles across empty space. Who knows? Maybe they'll find water after all. Meanwhile, Back at the Ranch Last night was dragging a little. I'd played the guitar, fumbled the keyboards, listened to the radio... No. I've had enough. I just needed to step outside and get some fresh air, and my excuse was to pop down the road for a burger. You can still get those at a relatively cheap price these days. As I approached the fast food outlet I noticed customers waiting in the premises. Four men, shaven heads, lounging around with the calm confidence of people who order nails on the side with their takeaways. They gave me an appraising glance as I came in. You have to expect that with people used to violence. They automatically size up the opposition by habit. The problem is that I don't belong to their tribe. My clothes and appearance don't match their visual recognition signals of dangerous manhood. To me that means little. Human beings are tribal creatures and we adopt rules for measuring ourselves against others as a matter of course. If they're comfortable with themselves and mind their own business, why would that concern me? The problem of course is that we sometimes do jostle for social dominance. Our outward displays of fashion and gesture usually suffice. Sometimes one party feels the need to push further, to be aggressive, to force a retreat of their rivals or maybe even worse. I must be honest, whilst I wasn't intimidated as such, there was a prickly atmosphere in that takeaway last night. The vendor cooked my burger very quickly and handed it to me without the usual chat. I took the hint.

Yes. Correct. It is speculative. So what? Northern Neil informed me of a possible saxon contingent I wasn't aware of, so I extrapolated for the purposes of speculation. Think about it Scylla. If you run a local community on a coastline at risk of raids or piracy, and the only real protection are foreign mercenaries, how do you get them to act in your name? There are only three ways. You pay them off handsomely, you could attempt to force them to do so, or you provide motivation and a cause to fight for. This is nothing new. The world is full of people fighting on foreign soil for what they believe in or to fatten their wallet. If you doubt the power of symbolism in inspiring men to act, then the current news concerning the furore over the British National Party's use of world war two icons might illustrate the point. Further, the dark ages are not black. Certainly there's doubts over this or that, a few things we don't know, but by and large the dark ages in Britain are far better documented than pre-roman times. There's quite a list of annals and chronicles for instance. Local folklore. Or maybe... how about a browse of wikipedia? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dark_ages http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saxons http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Angles http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jutes http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Danes_(Germanic_tribe) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vikings http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/English_people http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Britons_(historical) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gildas http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nennius http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anglo-saxon_chronicle http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wessex http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mercia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Northumbria http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bernicia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deira That's just a selection from an online dictionary. I imagine a learned historian would know more. I certainly enjoy reading the detailed books on the period available to me in my local reference library, which does not specialise in history studies. History isn't always so cut and dried. Facts are important. But, as they say in financial circles, you must speculate to accumulate. Without speculation, there is no insight, because you're not thinking about it. Learning by rote has its advantages but you'll only learn what someone told you. I find that a very restrictive and potentially ignorant viewpoint.

Strictly speaking that's correct (although Aella landed twenty years earlier). However, there are indications that the Britons were none too happy about the changes in regime. The withdrawal of Roman troops and the collapse of local government might have made for a brief period of prosperity due to unpaid taxes, but the stronger members of society would have responded by attempting to attract power, and indeed, Gildas writes about such changes, labelling local warlords as 'tyrants' (of which the legendary Arthur is mentioned as one - not quite the chivalrous king of medieval fiction - and Gildas seems to have some grudge against his memory. The point though is that the Roman element of British society hadn't died in their memories. The reason that the majority of early dark age romano-britons seem so un-roman is that they always had been, living alongside the Roman administration and obeying it's laws, but retaining a certain 'celtic-ness' all the same. A long term successful administration under which people generally prospered was bound to leave an impression. There's a strange duality in Britain in that period amongst the natives. On the one hand, there's a flowering of celtic culture which has left engraved stones in passing, plus the lingering retention of Roman ideals, and at least one northern tribe maintained latin titles throughout the dark ages. Both however were largely swept aside by the germanic settlers, who dominated the locals with their own beliefs and structures, complicated by the emergence of two forms of christianity, one Irish, one Roman, that contended for precedence in those times. Rome was therefore not entirely dead in peoples minds in the Dark Ages, whatever the actual political reality was. As to whether the foederatii still manned the battlements bearing Roman symbols is impossible for me to say. It isn't entirely implausible, though if existent I would suggest that the powerful image of Rome was something iconic and a rallying call rather than a direct command structure. A modern equivalent might be Middle England. Something we know has actually gone (if it ever really existed) but nonetheless a mindset, a concept, that persists despite changes in fashion and one that still motivates individuals toward certain actions.

As I've mentioned before, an extended spell of unemployment changes your perception of time. Life is at a slow pace, nothing hurried, and all those little things you used to cram into every spare five minutes now assume the status of your entire days activity. However, the recent near-fatal experience with my computer has changed all that. Suddenly I'm pitched into a battle of wills with the company that made the wretched thing. The law says I'm entitled to a repair, replacement, or refund. The company says that they aren't doing anything unless I pay for it. This is gambling at it's worst. They know I'm unemployed and can't afford solicitors fees. As it happens, so do I. Having sought legal advice from one of that elite crowd, she asked me if being unemployed was going to cause any difficulty in paying bills. Well... Ahem... I am going to struggle a little there.... She leaned forward and with her very best air of legal dominance, stared me in the face and warned me that her services don't come for free, with which she got up to leave. I have heard stories about that, I responded with a certain cheekiness. I swear she restrained a guffaw. Nonetheless, the battle for justice continues. Rain Rain Go Away... Forecaster love bad weather. They really do. Any possibility of horrendous conditions and they bring out the warning signs, describing the likeliehood of death by drizzle in such enthusiastic tones. Last night they warned of a cyclone crossing the country, bringing with wet and windy weather. I have to say I'm a little disappointed. Here in Swindon it has been somewhat damp but as yet, no terrific downpours. Hardly a breath of wind either. In fact, as I glance out the library window, I can see... Ahhh.... yes... Well that's okay, I have my waterproofs with me. Visit of the Week Earlier today I visited the National Monument Record. It's a large library of documents and so forth based in a former office of the Great Western Works. The lady on the security desk told me to observe the restrictions on items brought inside. They do provide lockers so I went through the list to see what needed to be stowed away before I entered. Almost everything. Oh well. I must say, the staff are very cheery, very helpful, and pointed me in the direction of the information I was after. Thing is though, there's also a kind of spooky atmosphere in there. I can't really imagine any headless draughtsmen wandering around the aisles. Given this was a drawing office in times gone by, I suspect the only deaths were down to boredom. The reason for my unease was that everyone seems to look at you in a certain disapproving judgemental manner. You can't help feeling that you're intruding upon an inner sanctum, in a place of reverence fit only for the pure of academic image. I wonder if I could get away with making a sudden loud noise? I used to get paid for doing that. Maybe not, eh? Come on Caldrail, grow up. Anyway I still have another six thousand photographs of muddy ditches to trawl through. Wow. What an exciting life I lead. I can feel myself turning into a ghost already....

Entertainment is becoming harder to achieve without my trusty computer. Certainly I'm going to be a better guitar player from this interlude of electronic fulfillment (my neighbours might disagree) and I'll have time to get to grips with keyboards again. It also means that the desire for news has led me to start listening to the radio, which I usually ignore for more visual information. Last night it so happened that Ricky Gervais was being interviewed. He's released a film called The Invention of Lying which I admit, I haven't seen. I'm not really a fan of Ricky Gervais (Sorry, Rick, but you wouldn't want me to lie, would you?) but he really is an engaging conversationalist. It turns out he too has a mother who wanted him to be christian. In his case however, the matter has been settled. He did make an interesting observation about fame. He stated that becoming a celebrity is worthless unless you've actually done something. Thanks, Rick, I can now continue as a minor Rock God safe and secure in the knowledge I fell flat on my face. All my own work, too. The way things are going I might well try falling over again. Hey, Norman Wisdom made a career of it. Cure By Fire The US Army has acted on the issue of servicemen returning from active duty in Iraq suffering from Post Traumatic Syndrome. In Britain this was once known as 'Shell Shock', very mmuch an issue with men in the trenches of World War One exposed to continual bombardment. I remember the sorry tale of one artilleryman who simply got up and walked into No-Mans Land purely to have his suffering end. The British have traditionally taken a 'stiff upper lip' attitude toward this. Stop snivelling man, and pull yourself together. Perhaps we've become more enlightened. Modern training methods are much more focused than they were in the heady days of the war to end all wars, so perhaps it's right that care is taken to rehabilitate those who have risked their lives in the service of their country. What I found extraordinary though is the latest technique from America. They simulate the battlefield with sights, sounds, and smells common to a war zone. How ironic that to ease the suffering of former soldiers, they're put back in a simulated enviroment that causes them grief. Job Opportunity of the Week Royal Mail are going to hire on 30,000 temps this winter - twice the usual number - in order to compensate for the expected industrial dispute that is looming in the busiest postal season of all. That's great. There's a depot in my area. So now I can apply to work there if I manage to get through the picket lines. Nothing like a challenge, eh?

The question then would revolve around whether the foederatii were loyal to Rome or their pay packet. If the latter, then they either let Aella in or made only a cursory defence. If the former, it would require an attack, which Aella's saxons were ill-prepared for despite arriving in strength, which leaves open a possibility of pretty much the same behaviour from the defenders.

The lesson of todays sermon is never to to take anything for granted. My worry is that this will sound more like an exercise in paranoia. Nonetheless, the events have occured, and behind it all lurks a reason. Let me explain. I make no secret of my predeliction for using computers. They're versatile tools and sources of entertainment. But as with all complex machines, sometimes they go wrong. The ebb and flow of my computers reliability has inspired various posts on this blog already. At least once I thought my personal files were gone for good. Certainly you should make regular backups and so forth, but the reality is that the sheer volume of data on modern hard disks is all but impossible to safeguard entirely. Last night I finished reading and decided to fire up the PC and carry on producing some artwork for a flight simulator I was busy with. On the other hand, let's catch up with the news.... Click on TV.... Ahhh, here we go, the familiar scrolling messages telling me about whichever disaster has occured somewhere in the world, and a guy behind a desk shuffling papers and telling us their weatherman has interesting news.... POP! (Fade to black) Huh? Oh no, not again! The screen went dead, the hard disk gently coming to a stop with a declining whir. Oh billiant, the fuse has gone. Well, now that I'm electrically aware, courtesy of Swindon College (though they still haven't sent me the certificate), I checked the circuit breakers downstairs. Everything okay there. So I dug out a spare fuse, fitted it to the plug, and replaced the power lead into the back of my PC.... BANG! The fireworks were impressive. Instantly the cable came close to the metal prongs at the back of my PC, it arced spectacularly. The whole ring main went dead, kitchen and all. The unpleasant smell of burning became apparent. That was close. Another inch, literally that close, and I would have suffered burns or a significant and potentially lethal electric shock. Later that evening I persuaded the letting agent to send an electrician to check out the mains supply at my home. He quickly asserted the supply was fine. He merely shrugged at my insistence of safety. Clearly a man who laughs at danger, I ventured. "Occupational hazard." He replied. I'm starting to think I really don't want to be an electrician. But that all very well. I now have a truly dead computer again, this time electrically suspect and dangerous. I hold out hope that the hard drive has survived the trauma. After all, the thought of losing all my project files and eight years of work is a lot to cope with. I must now deal with the reasons why that PC failed in that manner. The first possibility, and probably the more likely, is that it was a shoddy build in the first place. For that I can only blame the PC repair shop. The second, and more alarming possibility, is that the equipment was sabotaged deliberately. I told you this was going to sound paranoid. Prophecy of the Week Six years ago, more or less, a man in the street yelled "Your love of the machine has to end." We do get the occaisional wierdo in Britain. Then again, is the love of machinery so bad? Technology and egineering are part of modern life and essential for our success and well-being. In the last five years, two cars belonging to me have been completely ruined by persons unknown. Now two computers have been effectively ruined. If all this was part of some plot to recreate my character, all I can say is that ending a love affair with spite or greed is not a better choice.

After the dreary damp weather of the last few days the sunsine is back. That about sums up the last twenty four hours for me. Nothing much happened.... Oh yes. My downstairs neighbour left the hallway light on all nght. More news when I get it Postal Woes Royal Mail is threatening strikes shortly and so disruptions to services are expected. Will I notice? Just lately the post to my address contains all the neighbours letters too, and I suspect they're getting some of mine. Come on guys, sort it out.... Compare that to Amazon.com. Delivery to the door before the expected date at low low prices. The Government want to privatise the mail services and I can see why. The only problem there of course is that sincve my claims advisor is very keen to make me a postman, I'll end working for peanuts as commercial pressure drives down wages. Never mind. It's that time of year and perhaps I'll send an application letter for seasonal work. Without a bit of luck it'll actually get there before Christmas.

I've written in the past of my doubts concerning astrology. Sure, there is something comforting about these hints of the fate awaiting us around the corner, it's just that those people writing the hints are peddling security blankets. Funny thing is though, and most likely by sheer coincidence, there are times when a commercial prediction comes spookily close to events in your life. Take yesterdays local newspaper for instance. Apparently the planet Venus is returning to my star sign about now and bringing with it the chance of romantic interest (Sounds familiar... Where have I heard that before?). Of course I chuckled when I read it as I usually do. I was pleased the prediction also mentioned that I should beware the forthcoming interest may prove to be a little more temporary than I would like. Having perused the job vacancies and advertisements, I promptly threw the paper to one side and forgot the whole thing. Walking through town on what was a dreary drizzly day in rainy old Swindon, the throngs of people in the street thinned out and there ahead of me was an attractive leggy blonde standing under an umbrella with a whole pile of pamphlets in her hand. There's no fool like an old fool. Always tempted by a pretty smile, I allowed myself to be sucked into her sales pitch for the snack bar across the street. One of those great things about meeting people is that sometimes you connect with them. It's an odd feeling. A complete stranger, yet you feel at ease and comfortable in their presence. Then you realise there's what seems to be a genuine warmth to this communication beyond the desire to profit from baguettes. We chatted for a short while. She was pleasurable company, and actually quite pretty. All the while she carried on passing pamphlets to passers-by. I wasn't irritated by that - she was being paid to sell - yet a part of me realised that however well we got along, her eyes would ultimately look elsewhere. It seems my temporary affair had run it's course. If Venus wants to ensare me in the throes of passion and emotional fulfillment, she'll have to do better than that. It seems for once the astrologer was right. How about that? Excuses of the Week Perhaps it was just as well she didn't see this morning. There's a side street that has a sharp left hand turn downhill, and right where the pavement follows the slope I slipped. Woah!... Balance... Nope. Over I went. On the plus side, I have excuses.... 1 - I wasn't looking where I was going. 2 - My trainers are worn and now have smooth undersides. 3 - The pavement was wet and greasy 4 - I was just practising to be an idiot.

Everyones worrying about money at the moment. I can't say I've any sympathy for those ministers of Parliament required to pay back allowance claims considered dubious - they've been on a gravy train for decades. It so happens the cash shortage might well impact on me. Not because my benefits are under threat, but because job opportunities aren't going to be so readily available in the future. Typical of this situation is the farce over a few stones. Years ago there was a church just across the square from where the library stands today. It was an unloved stone building with a greek portico and pillars. Although it was once a listed building, and thus protected, the church authorities eventually decided that it didn't look right in the modernesque redveloped town centre and had it removed from the list, and it was duly demolished afterward. Jesus, it seems, doesn't have bottomless pockets for the upkeep of old buildings either. Anyhow, the stones were bought and taken to site in Wales for a construction project that fell through. With some optimism, Swindon Council recently bought the idle stones back for a modest

The Saxons were not known for ability in siege warfare. Their advance from the south coast in the 5th/6th century was impeded not only by stiff resistance from the Romano-British, but also their earthwork defences. As for the Roman forts, the only Saxon to get inside one (as I understand it at present) was Aella, who landed at Pevensey in 477. The fort at the time may not have been entirely in the best repair since with the withdrawal of Roman legions, their civil engineering expertise more or less left with them.

True, but that doesn't mean he was a likeable guy (you get the impression he was snide, arrogant, very demanding, wasteful, and yet strangely weak willed). The populace saw him in the same way we would a celebrity in the modern age, and Nero played to the crowd like the unashamed attention seeker that he was. For all his faults, he was a star.

When it comes to job interviews, you can tell a lot about the company from the information and advice they give you. Or not. It's been a while since I smelled a rat but something about this woman who phoned me a couple of days ago made me wonder. I quickly realised she was from an agency, though she din't tell me that, nor did she give any information about the job I'd originally enquired about. Not a good sign. "Do you have transport?" She asked.... No. "Have you got a bike?".... No. "So you're using buses?".... No. Are they kidding? The National Minimum Wage and they want me to blow my budget on a bus pass? She paused before asking "How are you going to get here?" I walk. From my home to the industrial estates in the north of Swindon takes an hour, more or less. Clearly walking was a foreign concept to her so I assured her it wasn't a problem. Then she gave me the address, and just to be helpful, told me I could view a map on the internet. Of course the arrow on the map pointed at the wrong part of the industrial estate. So like dozens of other hopeful jobseekers over the last few days, I wandered helplessly up and down the road knocking on doors and asking where these people were, and of course, no-one knew. I was stopped by a rotund gentleman on a scooter who asked me if I knew where the office was. What could I say? I made a humourous quip about being just as lost as he was which for some reason failed to reduce him to hysterics. Oh well. A big articulated lorry drew up and the driver wound down the window to lean out. Please don't tell me he's going to lech.... Thankfully, he didn't, and politely asked me if I knew where such and such a company was. Never heard of them. I refrained from a humourous quip this time. There is such a thing as living dangerously. Finally I found someone who knew where these people were, a pokey little office in a dark, quiet corner of a building in a dark quiet corner of someone elses yard. The woman looked suprised that I'd turned up. I was then handed a wad of forms to fill. Do I understand that I can die in the workplace?... Signed... Do I understand I can be sacked from the workplace... Signed.... Do I understand I can be paid by the workplace?... Signed.... Do I understand I need permission to work in the UK?.... Signed.... Do I understand English?.... Groan. I think I need to resubmit my request for independent state recognition to the UN. Through the Foreign Quarter Interview concluded, it was time to go home. My route took me though the part of Swindon where many immigrant families tend to live. There's an interesting difference in the area, besides the obvious cultural dress, strange accents, and skin tone. On every main street are a number of small grocery stores, piles of fruit and vegetables on wooden shelves erected outside the shop front. Young foreigners stand idly outside too, smoking or chatting to each other. It's a very different lifestyle to our conventional western supermarkets and revolving door mentality. One gentleman of foreign extraction was having a problem with his car. His mate was staring at the engine bay under the raised bonnet. Then, having successfully fired his car into reluctant life, he drove the car with the bonnet raised in front of him (so he couldn't see where he was going) whilst his mate ran alongside, keeping the engine barely running by some mysterious witchcraft or other. The driver turned onto a main road between parked cars and kept going. With a bit of luck, and some help from his fitter friend, who knows? Maybe he'll reach his destination without bumping into something? Foreign Resident Sadly there's a foreign resident living in the area we can all do without. After walking under the railway bridge and turning the corner I almost stepped on a rat. The matted grey fur was perfect camouflage against the dull asphalt surface and the only reason I saw it was because the wiley little monster realised I was about to tread on him and scampered into the bushes nearby. They say you're never more than six feet away from a rat in England. Sometimes you get closer than that. Giggles of the Week A little further on I passed a couple of young asian women. Naturally they were talking in quickfire giggles, albeit in a language beyond my comprehension, and their inability to find time to breathe in makes me wonder if oxygen starvation is the cause of 'dumb blonde' syndrome. One of the girls, wearing a flowing white dress rarely seen outside a fairy story, crossed the road and passed me in a state of repressed mirth. I'll assume for the moment she was being flirtacious and not discussing my official fatness. It must be said, you do come across some asian girls who are trouser-dropping gorgeous. Think unsexy thoughts Caldrail. This is machete country...

An interesting thought! 1630 - 1550 BCE ... is that about the time that Moses and Exodus was supposed to have taken place? First of all, uhm, please common, it cannot be news that people want to identify Santorino with Atlantis (which is nothing but ridiculous) The Santorini idea isn't ridiculous. We are of course relying on Plato's description. He wrote the tale about then island continent beyond the Pillars of Hercules, larger than Lybia, whose dispute with Poseidon could only end in tears. As far as we now, he got the original story from Solon, who in turn was told that by the pagan priests of Egypt. Here's the thing. If I tell you there was a big city in England that flooded disastrously, wouldn't you be a bit suspicious if it wasn't on the map? People listening to Plato's story knew the Mediterranean and any mention of a huge continent would have resulted in scorn. Naturally, he described in in an unknown region, in this case beyond the Pillars of Hercules. Therefore the description by Plato is at least partially fictional, and undoubtedly exaggerated enormously. There is a wall painting somewhere of a volcanic cone with a city built on it (I've only seen a photo once and I haven't a clue where it is). Santorini is of course an active volcanic site. Such places build cones (Krakatoa is another one and is currently rebuilding it's central mountain out of the sea - stand by for further explosions) that do explode occaisionally. The problem is that such geographic features often coincide with earthquake zones and if an underwater volcano suffers an earthquake, there is a risk of seawater getting into the cracks, which results in a very big bang as the superheated steam rapidly increases pressure. This sort of thing is what happened at Santorini. The volcano suffered (or triggered?) an earthquake, water got in, expanded rapidly as steam, and KABOOOM!. The resulting crater and empty space then filled with seawater immediately after. The momentum of that causes a 'depression wave', a tsunami, that spreads out as water at a higher level than the surrounding sea, an event which inundated the Minoan Empire and completely destroyed their naval infrastructure (and their economy) overnight. Try it. Fill a bath with water, and place your hand on the surface. Wait for the water to calm. Then depress your hand qickly to simulate a sudden empty space. The water will quickly rush in to cover your hand. Notice though that a noticeable ripple spreads out. If you look closely, that's a mini-tsunami. There would have been verbal tales of this event passed down. Not a slow flood like Noahs tale, but a catastrophic act of the gods, a violent demonstration of natural forces. So what if the Minoans had built a city on a volcanic cone in the middle of Santorini? This isn't so stupid as it sounds. It would have made an excellent sheltered harbour and was partially consistent with Plato's description (if you excuse the greek inspired exaggeration). The cone may not have been obviously active to those living there. We humans only live for three score years and ten on average and our memories are selectively short. However, an event escalated and the cone exploded. Any city there would have been turned to dust and rubble right there and then, spread over the area as debris. A speculative approach, and one about a city that might not have been known by the name Atlantis, but if existent one that would have easily spawned the legend. What is certain is that Atlantis is a wild goose chase. I've said this many times, but it's a story. Sure, there might be some historical precedent for it, but Plato wrote a story about the folly of human pride which has been taken a bit too seriously by readers ever since. The same thing is occuring right now with Dan Browns 'Da Vinci Code', where people are utterly convinced the rationale behind the story is genuine, especially since it can be shown that the Holy Grail never existed in the first place, but was a literary invention of a medieval novelist. It may be then that Atlantis is entirely fictional. So be it. But those priests of Egypt knew a civilisation in the Mediterranean had perished before them. Even if a city wasn't actually on that volcanic cone when it blew, a large prosperous empire collapsed when the resulting tsunami washed it away.

Some years ago a guy I knew from my schooldays looked me up and we decided to have a pint or two, catch up with events, and basically fall over drunk at some in the proceedings. By strange quirk of fate, MS and I originally crossed paths over music. I was a keen up and going nowhere drummer, he was busy inventing new and interesting beeps on toy keyboards. I must confess, it was his idea to stage a charity rock concert at a local sports hall but an idea I got behind. We formed a band to take part in what turned into a 'Battle of the Bands' contest. All in all the event went well. We won Best Instrumental Track (we'd found a decent guitarist) and that was pretty much the last I ever saw of MS, though I suspect that was because he thought I was a complete looney. You see, we'd borrowed a car to haul our gear to rehearsals. It belonged to the bass players father, a generous man who had no idea of what sort of driver I was. RH, the guitarist in Red Jasper, used to describe me as using an accelerator pedal as an on/off switch. Yep. That about summed me up. So eventually the car, a sorry looking Datsun that had seen better days, finally gave up trying to stay on the road, and I had a fun thirty seconds demonstrating the finer art of losing control. When the dust cleared (and without damage), I fell off the seat laughing at the shocked expression on MS's face. Oh the fun we have when we're young. Anyhow, on our reunion bash we headed for a pub in Old Town. There was a strange atmosphere in there. Everyone stopped talking and looked at us with smirks on their faces. What? Have I got a bogey on my nose? "What'll it be Gentlemen?" Asked the barman who could barely conceal a grin. Oh, ahh, two pints of lager please. "Certainly Sir. Would you like a room too?" He asked quizzically. Huh? What do I need a room for, I responded scornfully, I came in for a drink. Then the penny dropped. I was in a gay pub. Quickest Escape of the Nineties Oh heck. I'm in a gay bar. I wonder how quickly I can drink this pint?..... (glug glug glug belch)... That's it, I'm outta here. As far as I'm concerned, if two gays want to go off and do whatever it is they do to each other, fine, I don't care, just don't involve me in it. How far away is a safe distance? Strange Goings On In A Queer World First there was that comedian from Little Britain whose partner died. Then a gay singer pops his clogs on holiday. Tragedies like any other unexpected death I guess, but what an odd coincidence, both events occuring so close to each other and presented in such a non-discriminatory way by the media. What? No scandal? Final Statement of the Day And you thought I'd lambast Gordon Brown for having to repay a years wages he spent on his own comfort? Life is so full of suprises, eh?

Close your eyes. Empty your mind. Picture a whitewashed thatched cottage, rose bushes lining the manicured lawn in front of it. Oak and chestnut trees forming a lush backdrop. The sun is shining, birds are singing, all is peaceful. Now wake up. I don't know what sort of England you live in, but that rose-tinted image isn't anything like mine, which resembles an edwardian brick terrace, built in the days of cloth-cap engineering, Cars with stereos blaring pause at the traffic lights before vibrating under their own power down the road. Lorries rumble past at three point six on the richter scale, and buses demonstrate their immunity to the Clean Air Act of 1956. Bit of a shocker that eh? It gets worse. Late night revellers hold shouting contests in the street, while party-minded girls communicate by shrill screams and giggles. Yet despite all this, you still manage to find a few hours in the day when things are quiet enough to carry on with a tranquil and fulfilling life. Then my neighbour decides to go out for the night. Surely that would make things even quieter you ask? Nope. In order to get in the mood for boogie-ing the night away he insists on recreating the noise, the sounds, yes, even the smells, of a hard working nightclub. When this house was built, at the height of British Empire, no-one owned electrical consumer goods and so no-one invented sound proof walls. As a result, the interior space reverberates and so if anyone makes any noise, next door can hear it. Every chuckle, conversation, snore, and moment of passion is overheard by one and all, although I suspect not all my neighbours have realised that. They certainly haven't told their girlfriends. Once again the music impinged on my conciousness. I confess I got a tad upset. Having yelled at them to shut up I thought it was all over. Sadly not, because another of my neighbours, clearly less impressed than I was, walked out into the street and yelled abuse. That certainly cured the noise problem didn't it? Protest of the Week Greenpeace members have taken to roof of Parliament and demanded action on climate change. What are they expecting? Politicians to wave a magic wand and make everything better? The climate is changing. It's a huge, powerful, dynamic force in nature, and you can't stop it or put it back the way it was even if ruins your entire day. The real trick, as demonstrated by nature for the last three or four billion years, is to roll with the punches. Adapt. Survival of the fittest is fundamental to the success of species in the wild and I suspect, probably something that will emerge in climate politics. If I were in their place, saving cash and buying property on a hilltop might be a more comfortable (and ultimately profitable) exercise. Who knows? Maybe they'll be able to afford a car in a few years...

Hilary Clinton has made a fashionably late visit to our shores and naturally the press conference followed. It's becoming a bit of a soap opera. Is it just me, or are political speeches becoming a bit commonplace? To some extent that's partly because of modern media coverage. With so many channels and air-time to fill, it seems politicians are rising to the challenge of opportunity. I guess that's politics. If you want to get ahead in that business you need people to hear you. The subject matter was predictable. The strife sponsored by the Taliban in more than one country has understandably provoked responses, and the current nuclear ambition of Iran is causing serious concern. Everyone is building 'relationships'. Clinton and Millibrand continue to enthuse about the 'Special Relationship'. The countries of Europe aree being pressured to sign up to the next stage of the empire building process. China chases it's cultural ambition with ruthless showmanship. Middle east dictators search for weakness in the west and religious fervour at home. Politcally, things are slowly heading toward another 'Balance of Power', a situation in global politics that offers security on one hand and disastrous conflict on the other. A couple of times now I've mentioned how things were better in the eighties. It was a period when people were optimistic, when they had money to spend. More than once I've pointed at the current economic situation and my own personal difficulties arising from that. I've just been watching a news documentary about Syria. In one region, rain hasn't fallen for three years. A family that owned a hundred sheep twenty years ago now spends most of its meagre budget buying water to drink. I have no doubt these people are in desperate straits and that circumstances haven't favoured them. Syria isn't alone. The Sahara desert for instance is spreading and the once verdant north african coast is far drier. Of course the world climate is changing. The climate always changes. As the world leaves the last ice age behind it it will no doubt become warmer still, like it's done many times previously throughout the Earths history. Nonetheless, our efforts to survive and provide a better life have backfired in many places around the world. Not so longer ago I pointed out that there were too many people. That starvation will eventually get the better of us. It seems, unbeknown to me, that we're already getting thirsty. I agree with the presenter - shortages of water, one of our most basic requirements for survival, will be a major weight in the future balance. Footprints of the Week Dinosaurs have been in the news again with a set of footprints found in France, near the border with Switzerland, of sauropods weighing in at around thirty tons. The area was a warm shallow sea at the time so it looks as if our Brontosaurs were having a day out at the seaside. They must have been magnificent creatures in their heyday. Sadly, they're gone, and let's hope we don't follow them too soon.

View From the Roof of the Temple This is Durocornovium today, a southeast view from where the temple is thought to have stood. The modern dual carriageway turns south along the Roman road to Cunetio, a minor route in those days, whilst the main Roman road to Calleva is now a country lane off the left hand side of the photo. In the distance is Liddington Hill, the highest place in Wiltshire, and you can easily make out the ramparts on the right hand side. On the right of the photo is the outskirts of modern Swindon, on land that the Romans apparently never developed. The cemetary for Durocornovium was situated over there too, a little further away.

Strictly speaking this was a frontier area between british tribes (Dobunni, Belgae, and the apparently dominant Atrebates). Since the name refers to a fortifies place in celtic phraseology, it might be that the fort was Celtic, not Roman. Certainly there are hillforts nearby (Liddington is only four miles south and very evident, being the highest point in Wiltshire). There doesn't seem to be any evidence of native forts in the immediate vicinity of the site, and given the relatively flat land thereabouts, one might be forgiven for assuming the place was named after Liddington hillfort looming in the distance, which would have been (and actually still is) a visible landmark.

The Romans were less of a menace to 'barbarian' folk than commonly supposed. True, their regimes were often uncompromising but part of this image of ruthless conquest is down to the fallacy that barbarian nations were assimilated. Again, it is true the Roman encouraged the adoption of Latin culture, but as long as native peoples obeyed laws (usually their own ones) and paid taxes, the Romans left them to carry on business as they pleased. It remains a odd circumstance to our eyes that Roman governors would adjudicate differences not only according to infractions of Roman law, but oversee native justice as well, and it's worth remembering the events in Judaea during the reign of Tiberius in this light. It wasn't just high ranking officials either. Roman legions sometimes had a surplus of centurions (to reward long and dutiful service, as well as promote men with leadership ability) and these extra officers were routinely given territorial assignments rather than military command, so that this junior officer could learn about government. The Romans were nothing if not career minded. The Germanic invasions in the late empire were all about perceived wealth. Certainly the Roman soldiery wasn't entirely well behaved in that period and there was raiding on both sides of the border, which resulted in a turbulent frontier reminiscent of the Wild West but in reverse. The essential problem remained the Romans themselves and their political ambitions of men encouraged to seek status by their competitive society. The reason Britain was abandoned was to bring troops over to Gaul to take part in developing rebellion, not to deal with barbarians. The British Isles were increasingly ungovernable in any case and that was a failure of Roman administration as much barbarian threat, particularly since the Roman system collapsed so spectactularly after the legions were withdrawn. As much as the Romano-British elite wanted to remain within the Roman sphere, there was a period described as a golden age in which no-one paid taxes and life was easy. Society abhors a vacuum of course and Gildas refers to the rise of 'petty tyrants'. These new warlords were britons, not barbarians, people who knew the Roman empire by what it left behind. Of course the external threats were many and various. With a weakening central empire and suyrrounding tribes rising in confidence and co-ordination, there was bound to be a change in the balance of power. The increasingly unified barbarian response to Roman decay should be viewed as partially a failure of Roman politics too. Habitually the Romans had divided their neighbours for centuries in order to prevent exactly the circumstance they faced in the late empire, but also the increasng ability of foreign tribes in such matters as warfare and ship building, much of which was learned from the Roman world. The Romans were, effectively, creating their own nemesis and proving less and less able to contain it.

Another day... I drag myself out of bed and glance out between the curtains. It's been raining during the night and the yard outside is thoroughly wet. No matter, it's a bright and sunny morning, it'll soon dry out. Our beloved Fuhrer, Gordon Brown, must also be feeling the same mood. He's just announced that Britain is 'bouncing back'. Well, he can quaff Happy Juice at breakfast if he wants, but he earns rather more money than most of us, so I don't suppose for one minute he's noticed how expensive life is getting for us Dolesters. Now there's a warning that energy prices in Britain might rise by 60% in the next ten years. My bills have already doubled in the last five. I don't feel bouncy about that in any way whatsoever. So realistically, what can I do about that?. Modern society revolves around energy use. All I can do is watch less television (and therefore less good news about our economy), play music a bit less, buy food that needs less cooking, tolerate colder temperatures in Spring and Autumn, and make do with less hot water. That's the problem with life in a modern industrialised society. We rather like our comfort. Hello Sophie I'd had enough of government announcements of good times ahead on daytime television. There really isn't anything good to say about perpetual game shows featuring the worst dullards in circulation. So whilst the outside world looked dull and grey, it was far more interesting. So naturally I popped out for a stroll. Fresh air, exercise, and who knows? Maybe you'll see something or meet someone? There was a little yorkshire terrier that didn't like the look of me as I approached, and true to the species, it began yapping at me incessantly. The owner apologised. Her dog was only protecting her she said. Somehow I found it difficult to see the dog as dangerous at all. It came across as a gentle (if somewhat noisy) soul so I took time out to greet the dog, make friends with it. The terrier refused to approach me no matter how un-threatening I tried to be. The owner admitted she was a nervous dog. Okay, what's her name? Sophie? Hi, Sophie.... Ah, didn't know I knew your name did you? What a change. The little dog stared in suprise and began wagging its tail, and I could see her trying to figure out where she'd met me before. This she did approach, and visibly trembling, made a cautionary sniff of my hand. There you go Sophie, you've been a brave girl. Nice to meet you. Enjoy your walk. Funny how these little things make you feel good inside. Style of the Week Occaisionally you get people in the library who come across as a litttle odd. It's easy to mock and criticise others, but sometimes you just have to laugh. There's a young man sat at a computer across the aisle from me. He's dressed in black, with a woollen cap and a large pair of headphones so he can enjoy his music while he vegetates. It's just that at first glance he looks like a gothic Messerschmitt pilot. Albeit one who hasn't woken up yet. Still, at least he's happy.

You're underestimating the menace of the Irish Scots, who effectively outflanked Hadrians Wall and made a nuisance of themselves into the Dark Ages.