People Spotting
Entry posted by caldrail
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Today I'm at the local library.. So who's in this morning?
Ahh.. As usual Mr AM makes his unhurried entry. He's an elderly New Zealander, over here to find his family, and after seven years they're still not answering his emails. Always first through the door, always slowing everybody else down with his two walking sticks, always bullying an unsuspecting interloper off his favourite PC, and always smiling at young Miss L (She's a pretty lass, desperately bored with library work). Give him a few minutes and he'll be chatting at the top of his voice. Give him a few more and he'll have a problem with his emails, an excuse for some personal attention from Miss L, who grits her teeth and shows him the obvious. Ahh, there he goes... We're in for a good whinge this morning!
His best mate, a jovial chap who hasn't washed, shaved, or cut his hair since 1971 sits down and proceeds to lay out his belongings on the desk in a slow deliberate manner. I'm not even sure he uses the PC, he just comes in for a chat with AM. Apparently his main ambition in life is to visit a park four miles away. You go for it mate.
Two soldiers from a regiment I don't recognise drop in. You don't usually see soldiers in here, but these two seem personable lads and don't bother anyone... except they've got a problem with their emails and ask Miss L to sort them out. I think she's happy with the distraction. So are they.
And over by the aisle - yes, its that young lad whose name I don't know. He fancies Miss L desperately, and fidgets without actually logging on, plucking up the courage to search for an excuse to chat her up. Is he going for it?.... Yes? No?.... He's watching her go by.... She's not paying attention.... He's on his feet!.... False alarm, he asks her about logging on. Good grief boy, even I wasn't that bad at your age. Just ask her. Before AM does.
There's a new blonde librarian sat way back at the enquiry desk. She keeps looking at me in that sort of 'Whats he doing?' way. Well I'm watching you as it happens dear. Guess we're made for each other really. We'll spend happy hours staring at each other across a crowded library.
The other blonde librarian (I must say, this library is well stocked with blondes) is a thin irritating girl who thinks I'm a wierdo. Thanks for telling everyone, that was diplomatic. She likes to ignore me when I walk past and always seems to choose that moment to inspect her nails.
Passing me now is a huge gorilla of a man I've seen a few times. He's at least seven feet high and and very burly, so slope shouldered his knuckles should drag across the carpet, except they don't because he's too tall. His arms hang limply as he thuds along the aisle. He sits beside me and it looks ridiculous, like a giant poised over a toy computer. Each key press is soooo slow....
...Compared to the slightly annoying woman the other side of the desk, who types so fast my instinct is to take cover and radio in for an artillery barrage. She just doesn't stop! Meanwhile that even more annoying child of hers is busy re-enacting last weeks Top Gear, attempting for the fiftieth time to break the Library Speed Record For Toy Cars. Oh there he goes again.... There's a loud BONG! I look round and he's collided with something. Driving without due care and attention I'd say. I cannot suppress a grin, and the woman gives me a hard stare, torn between giving me grief, helping her crying child, or doing some more typing.
Three young men of afro-carribean origin arrive and shunt each other around the available PC's. In sharp suits. With black bandana's? Bizzare. One sits the other side of me, leaning back in a streetwise manner and browsing the net, obviously disinterested, and I sort of wonder why he bothered coming in.... or is he here to look cool? I hate to admit it, but he does. Ten out of ten for image. But what's it for? Are they Gangsta Rappers? In this neck of the woods? Or are they affluent terrorists? Should I call the police? Should I call Bruce Willis? Decisions, decisions....
Well that's my hour on the internet. Just another day in Rushey Platt.
Incident of the WeekIt happened last night. This guy is on the other side of the road, waiting at the pedestrian crossing, as I am, for the lights to change. Except he doesn't. Looking the wrong way and seeing a gap, he steps into the road into the path of a taxi. THUMP! The taxi skids rapidly to a halt, whilst the guy rolls along the pavement looking a little stunned, leaving the taxi with a broken wing mirror. Despite the efforts of myself, the taxi driver, and a small crowd of ladettes on their way to an all night binge, the guy refuses to stay around to speak to the police or get medical help, and wanders off down the road... Whoops there he goes again..... Not my idea of a fun saturday night, but if headbutting cars is your thing, he's available for functions and childrens parties.
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