World's Biggest Dork? (even I'm not usually this bad)
Entry posted by Lost_Warrior
541 views
OK, I must deserve some sort of prize for this one. You know, for my superior grace and dignity.
Here's the story:
I was coming down with an ear infection this weekend. Now, I'm prone to ear infections, especially in my right ear. I know what they feel like. They can be excruciating! Normally, I would get myself to the doctor for antibiotic drops STAT however it was Sunday. I was no way no how going to the emergency room for an ear infection, so I did what I could to patch myself up at home. If it wasn't better by today, I planned to see a doc.
To that, I added a prayer to my deities and a promise of a half a bottle of sparkling grape juice (I normally offer a few ounces every week) and this was accepted. I got the feeling that it was accepted immediately, and lo and behold, this morning, my ear was feeling much better and continued to get better throughout the day. (Keeping in mind, that it had gotten bad enough that it *doesn't* improve with home remedies. It was well beyond "I feel one coming on" and had gotten into "definitely infected" territory).
As promised, I poured the half bottle (more than that, actually) into my libation bowl on my altar. A whole bottle wouldn't have fit even; the bowl was quite full. I said a few quick words of thanks and left it on my altar for a few hours. After that, I planned to take it outside and pour it into the ground; I don't like to leave juices on my altar overnight they tend to turn sour.
I *planned* to take it outside; here's what really happened:
I picked up the bowl, and took it out of my room, as usual. I started to walk down the steps, carefully (!) carrying the bowl. Halfway down the steps, I slipped. Classic, feet in the air, flat on my ass, butt plant in the middle of the stairs. A veritable fountain of grape juice all OVER the stairs. All OVER the walls. All OVER my clothes, AND my head. I screamed and sat there quite stunned for a moment. Commenced swearing. Got up, started scrubbing as best I could, the grape juice out of the stairs and off the walls. Pour what's left of grape juice outside. Come inside, change clothes, take a second shower, wash grape stained clothes.
Whoever decided that stairs should be carpeted must DIE I tell you!!! Fortunately the carpet is old, ugly, patterned and pretty non-stainable. Nothing will show up on it.
I don't know what hurts worse; my ass or having to clean up the mess!!
So who did I piss off?
5 Comments
Recommended Comments