Diurnal Journal of 3/1/06
Komrades:
The Imperial Roman Intelligence Service (IRIS) - get it?, has intercepted a letter from busche to president chinney. For your edification, it is reproduced here. Keep in mind that this is Top Secret and for your eyes only, else it is off to Poland with you.
Deer mista prezaden?
Look, yu *CENSORED*, iv been frontin 4 yu 4 5 yeers now and everythin has gone Right. nothin iz correk. i trid to *CENSORED* up soshul sekurity n faled. then i did *GRRR!* up medakar. now th old fokz are oilin up ther gresse gunz 2 git me. yu got me in2 2 warz in plasez that i nevr herd ov. yu sadeld me wit browny n chirpoff n thay *CENSORED* up katrina n nobody tole me notin. if i waz to tak a wauk in noo yok sombodee id jump a lite n leve tire tredz up my body. ur boy snojob puled a fast 1 on me wit this port *BRR!*. waytll thay find out about th chineez runnnin som portz. nobody telz me notin. now som *Uh Oh!* hedz r tryin to git sharia law 4 themselvz in ontario. then ther ar a passel of pulpit poundin preechers tryin to set up Cristian govment in sout karolina. some exodus *BRR!*. ther tryin to git fokz to com therr n kik out demokratz, liberlz n even republixz n neo conz who dont coton 2 them. Jus *CENSORED* grate. this *OH DEAR*! sadam runz hiz own trial. wanna bet thay cut im loosz. iv got thoz guyz in bowlivea n venizzwala so *OHHH!* off that thay wil probablee put a contrak out on me. wear th *COOO!* r thoz plases. wat th *BRR!* r stem celz. th partee is afta me bout theez wetbakxz n th border. thoz minitmen lik az plugg me az a wetbak. haf th partee iz on th take n r goin 2 alkatraz. th rest r bangin therr hedz on th florz n walz. wil u pleez git that guy deelay to take the merkury treetment. th ol man n ol ladee lik thet guy klinten betr than me. thay cut me out ov ther wil and put him in. nise. thoz *MY GOD!* at fox r turnin on me. u go off huntin n drinkinn n allmost put down a shister. he haz grate earz. then u dont tel enybody. wat wer u watin 4. did u wanna see if u snuffed him. hoo pade th bilz. thenn u git him to tak a div 4 u. nex time ur out shootin tak mkklellen n rover wit u. doo th job rite thiz time. wot th *OUCH!* wer u doin. praktisin to git osama. u shudna takin 5 defurmentz.
im gittin tiered of thisz fony texaz axsent n waukin round lik a puppit n telin liz. now ur pakin me off to indeeya. wherr th *MY WORD!* iz that. wot kind ov *OH NO!* r thay. how manee dizeezez wil i git. do thay speek inglissh. o god it jest hit th wirez. thay hav a tape showin brownie tellin me all about katrina. u *GOOD GRIEF!*. Tak brownie huntin. git judg starr 2 be4 he gits me. wot else r u puttin on mi plate. dont i hav enuff u *LORDY, LORDY!*. giv bugs buny that shot gun nex tim ur out.
hav a nise day
georgee dubya
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IRIS
SPQR
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