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Obituary.


Gaius Octavius

3,786 views

Since I make fun of everyone, here's one on me:

 

PORCOFACIO UNSCRUPULATO

 

 

San Francisco contractor, Porcofacio Unscrupulato, 68, of Canale Capone, North Beach, died yesterday from injuries he received in the collapse of a building he was inspecting, prior to sale to Roosevelt Moses of Oakland.

 

Born in Molto Pubisco, Italy, Unscrupulato was brought to this country at age 11 by his parents, Regurgito and Nauseata Unscrupulato.

 

Active for many years in community affairs, Unscrupulato took time from his early employment with the Strangulata Cesspool Cleaning and Catering Co. to appear in local nightclubs, performing a knife-throwing act with the late Inadverto Castrato. Prior to his death, Unscrupulato was president of the Insubstante Construction Co., which he operated with his brother, Devio.

 

Unscrupulato was a member of the Federated Sons of Sicily, Luciano Chapter, The Putrido Chianti and Marching Society, Crococitto's Fine Arts and Bocci Club, Insanitario's Pizzeria Bowling Team, and past president of the North Beach Enforcer Protection Benevolent Society and Garden Club.

 

He is survived by his wife, Inconsolata; sons Retardo, Cretino, Imbecilico and Faggotini: daughters Ovaria, Fallopia and Orgasma; sisters Mrs, Mammaria Penduloso, Mrs. Prolifica Fornicata and Mrs. Conspicua Testiculata; and 17 grandchildren, all of the Canale Capone address.

 

The Rev. Celibato Infortunato of Santo Buffone R.C. Church will offer a solemn requiem Mass Wednesday, following services at the Rigorio-Mortisco Funeral Home and Excavating Co. Internment will be in Addio Basta Cemetery.

 

 

Love the local weekly newspapers.

10 Comments


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Orgasma is mine; you can have the rest. Save one for Ursus.

 

Whooz 'firman'?

 

:lol:

 

Thats fine, you can have Orgasma I had my eye on Prolifica Fornicata anyway!

 

Whooz 'firman'?

 

Now thats a strange one, firman is part of my e-mail address and for some bizarre reason whenever I edit a reply in the blogs section it says 'edited by firman' but on the forum it says ' edited by GPM' :P

 

I'm at my wits end, I'm not sleeping, I've lost my appetite i just don't know what to do next, one minute i'm GPM the next I'm firman!!!!!!!!!!! ;):P

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I'm at my wits end, I'm not sleeping, I've lost my appetite i just don't know what to do next, one minute i'm GPM the next I'm firman!!!!!!!!!!! ;):P

 

Oh Gee! :lol: Would you believe it ? Sometimes, I'm confused. ;)

 

Black Adder

Basil

Capt. Black Adder

Count de Piedmonte d' Alief

Cecil

Don Tomasso

Earl of Brookfordshiresexingham (forgot if it is Basil or Cecil, etc.)

Gaius

:P

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Now thats a strange one, firman is part of my e-mail address and for some bizarre reason whenever I edit a reply in the blogs section it says 'edited by firman' but on the forum it says ' edited by GPM'

 

Same exact thing here. It says edited by Rameses in the forum and Andrew Rezk in the blog and gallery.

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I'm at my wits end, I'm not sleeping, I've lost my appetite i just don't know what to do next, one minute i'm GPM the next I'm firman!!!!!!!!!!! ;):hammer:

 

Oh Gee! ;) Would you believe it ? Sometimes, I'm confused. ;)

 

Black Adder

Basil

Capt. Black Adder

Count de Piedmonte d' Alief

Cecil

Don Tomasso

Earl of Brookfordshiresexingham (forgot if it is Basil or Cecil, etc.)

Gaius

:ph34r:

 

Ahhhh but the difference is that they are all of your own doing where as I'm just an innocent blogger trying to make my way in the blogging world?

 

BTW what the hell is a Turkish thingymejigwhateveryousaid?????

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BTW what the hell is a Turkish thingymejigwhateveryousaid?????

 

I just knew that you would ask. ;) They are both 'edicts'. Firman from the Turkish sultan. Ukase from the Russian Tzar. :ph34r:

 

:hammer:

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