Murphy's Laws.
Murphy's (missed a few) LAWS
Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee
Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
Law of Probability : The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.
Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
Variation Law : If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (works every time)
Bath Theorem : When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
Law of the Result : When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
Law of Biomechanics : The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
Theatre Rule : At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrives last.
Law of Coffee : As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets : The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.
Law of Location : No matter where you go, there you are.
Law of Logical Argument : Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
Brown's Law : If the shoe fits, it's really ugly.
Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.
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