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Letters & Words

Gaius Octavius

Entry posted by Gaius Octavius

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Sundry criminals have been at work on the English language for ages. It is high time these miscreants were brought to book.

 

Let us examine the letter "H".

 

Not pronounced in 'eight' where it lives; prounced in Sean where it is on vacation.

Not pronounced in 'ghost' (yes, yes, I know, it tells us how to pronounce the 'g'). OK, so, gho ghet ghum. Lets be consistent. The Irish don't bother pronouncing it in 'thanks', but they do in 'Sean'. Koo-koo, no?

Thought, bought, caught! Pronounce that last 'h'? No way Jose!

I know! What about the likes of how, hero, help and hello? Just drop the 'h'. Would anyone call the spelling cops if we wrote ow, ero, elp and ello? Of course not. No one rats on 'herb'! Saves ink, time and wear and tear on the eyes. Some Brits say it this way anyway. And they invented the confounding confounded language. Mite just as well use ghoti. Nothing but a trouble maker.

Tear is another beaut that needs work.

 

Let us proceed to the criminal "K".

 

Knock; two k's - wats de point ere? Ghet rid of dem and you wind up wit 'noc'. Just as ghood!

Knight? nite! Knew? new! Kale? cale! Knave? nave! Kind? cind! Keen? ceen! Ghood enuf for the Romans; ghood enuf for me.

 

On to some useless words.

Moot. Once debatable now undebatable. Or do I ave it bacwards? Ghet wat I mean?

Good. Bad! Wats de point of being ghood anyow? Dere is no suce ding as a ghood proto-neo-con. Dats an oxyignoranus!

Foul, fowl? Run de to togeder in speece and you ave no idea of wats ghoing on.

 

Put dis one on your tounge. De bride, nee Neigh, said nay at de altar. So it ghoes in speece: De bride nay nay, said nay at de altar? Lovely!

 

Look, dis confuses little vagabonds and de prezident, so lets elp em. Ghet rid of all dis twaddle and little cids will danc uz. Den we can be proud of gheeorgy-poo.

De nicompoop is constantly adding words suce as 'fascistististists' and 'conservatistismist' along wit de required nucUlar.

Now, ere is were I need your elp. De following words need plurals and possessives.

 

Ignorattus

 

Illiteratus

 

Ignoranus

 

And so I propose dat we :giljotiini: 'H' & 'K'. Ghet rid of some words and add de above tree too de lexicon. Dey are interesting words and sound nise. Very appropriate wen describing certain proto-neo ominid kriminals.

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Gaius Octavius

So, to summarize, the English language is farked beyond all hope, and we should all switch to, say, Spanish?

 

No, Polish is the way forward.

 

Polish? Polish your ceuz!? C? :ph34r:

 

Ave u eva ceen a Polish coffee cup? :P

 

:ph34r:

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Gaius Octavius

I think it's not fair to the letter 'k' that 'c' makes more sounds. I propose that we make 'c' and 'k' interchangable.

 

Cing Kharles! Kceese is not cnoledgable. Gaius can be a krancy cook if the Yancees lose.

 

See? All better.

 

Did you put a hex on the Yankees? :lol: You will pay for it if that is the case! :nopity: My agents will find out. :smartass:

 

:lol:

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docoflove1974
Did you put a hex on the Yankees? :lol: You will pay for it if that is the case! :nopity: My agents will find out. :smartass:

:lol:

 

No, the Jankees suck in their own right...they need no help in the voodoo department. :P

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Gaius Octavius

DoL, such language! Tut! Tut! I am appalled! :lol:

 

Anyway, there isn't a player in baseball who wouldn't prefer to wear a Yankee uniform. The Yanks have won more World Series than these two teams have won pennants - put together. When the Yankees come to town, in the outlying districts, the yokels fill the seats. In order to keep the yahoos interested in the game, and thus garner their gold, we must throw some events. :P

 

:lol:

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