Heard of Movember? Here�s a quick explanation, but if you�d like more detail, have a look at www.movember.com. Movember is a charitable organisation that hopes to encourage as many men as possible to grow a moustache (or Mo, for short) during the month of November. Mo-vember, geddit? The idea is so that funds can be raised, and awareness made for Men�s Health Issues (or, as a less reputable colleague referred to them, "Bloke cancer, rather than chick cancer"). His misogynism is factually, if not politically- correct. Now, I wholeheartedly support this cause, though I have to admit, I�m not sure what the exact mechanism by which me growing a big, bushy tash fills the coffers. To mitigate this, I bunged them a fiver. Feel free to do the same, if you�d like. Awareness, however is a whole different matter. I�m a successful and prolific blogger with a multitude of signed up followers, so surely I can use this very medium to spread the good word about Men�s Health Issues.

Here goes:-

I�m not a medical man, so the technical detail eludes me, but my advice to all you blokes out there is two-fold:

Step 1 �

Grow a Mo during November, and tell everyone why you�re doing it.

Step 2 �

(a) Have a good feel around in your 'Gentleman�s Area' on a regular basis, and

( tell your doctor if anything changes.

Step 2(a) really isn�t an issue for men, in fact there would be a significant problem if it were something men were being encouraged to stop doing. 2( , however, is something we�re notoriously bad at, most especially when it involves showing your privates to another man. Throw in the (quite real) possibility that the same man will end up handling our precious trouser-cargo, and it�s a wonder anyone with a 'Y' chromosome ever goes near their local surgery. My advice? Man up! Be bold. Hold your head high, march into that office and, (having first told the Doctor confidently about your concerns � that bit�s important), get it all out, and slap it down in front of him with a hearty "There�s the lunch-box, Doc. Whadaya think?"

Right, with both fundraising and awareness behind us, we can move on with the story. I decided at the end of the 2012 tourist season (late September for me) to grow a Mo for Movember, however I had a nagging concern. Whiskers have never graced the OfClayton cheeks for longer than a couple of days, say when travelling, and shaving is inconvenient, or some such. Other than that, I�ve been clean shaven since I first looked in the mirror and saw Shaggy from Scooby Doo looking back at me. So, growing a Mo was a worry. How fast would it grow? If I started in November (like you�re supposed to), I may not have anything you could call a Mo until February. I have a friend who has been moustachioed for many years, but no-one has noticed. What if mine was like his. If I was going to do it, I wanted something akin to those sported by the Thompson Twins in Tin-Tin. So I admit, I cheated. You�re supposed to start 1st November clean shaven, but I stopped shaving at the beginning of October (much to the chagrin of Mrs ofClayton).

I admit, that after 14 days, it still looked like something that would disappear if I washed my face, but I needn�t have worried. Here I am, 28 days later, and I am now the proud owner of a moustache. Would you like to see it? here it is.

The little thing below my bottom lip is supposed to be there. For those taking notes, according to that standard repository of all knowledge and wisdom, Wikipedia, it's either called a 'Smig' (Irish word for a chin), 'Mouche' (French word for a fly), or a Soul Patch. I'd like to refer to mine as a Soul Patch, but to be honest, it feels more like a Smig.

There you go, I've both educated you, and reduced your chances of dying from bloke cancer. Surely that's enough for this week?