We were gathered there together to hear the words of Young L, our local high priest of the Top Gear temple, whether we liked it or not. The lesson for the day was the wayward handling of the new Ferrari FF when in high gear. Having watched the Stig fail to negotiate a frozen lake surface for that reason, Young L gamely attempted to convert the faithful to his way of thinking, or rather to sound clever by repeating what he'd seen on television.

L - Just stop talking for a moment. If you drive a Ferrari FF in a straight line calmly and sensibly, what's your problem? The car will only crash if you push the boundary or do something stupid. After all it's usually footballers who crash them Too used to kicking things with their right foot.

For a moment Young L thought about it. I count that as an achievement in itself, but having failed to think of a counter argument he went straight back to his usual boasting about being the fastest driver ever around the Top Gear track. Needless to say Young L has not yet passed a driving test and instead believes beyond all reason that experience on a Playstation game makes him somehow equal to those who've actually driven cars in the flesh.

I've no doubt the game is a very good simulator - Even Mr D tried to tell me it was just like real life - but no, it just isn't. Young L seems to have forgotten that his hero proved that in an NSX at Laguna Seca. No cheap simulator for home entertainment can ever be classed as totally realistic. On a flight simulator I'm a world war two air ace capable of the most hair raising stunts known to aviation. In reality I've flown light aircraft a little close to the edge once or twice out of inexperience and consider myself older and wiser for having discovered how real actual aviation can get.

Mr Clarkson - Please - If by some strange quirk of fate you happen to be reading this, please give Young L a chance to fall flat on his face around your track. I hereby waive my own opportunity for that pleasure alone. Thank you.

Rock On!

Also on the thank you list is a saturday night radio rock show host who's finally realised she's been playing the exact same tracks week in, week out. I listened open mouthed as long forgotten classic rock riffed, screamed, thumped, and rumbled from the speakers. Ye gods I nearly moshed from the comfort of my own home. Okay, it wasn't in the same league as The Friday Rock Show back in the reign of King Tommy Vance the First, but what radio show is these days?

Down They Go

What a difference a few trees and bushes make. I looked out the back of the house the other day and all the trees and bushes that fomerly obscured the ruined expanse of the Old College site had gone. It looks very bare and shabby now. Not for long, according to the developers, who plan to level the site this spring. Poor old foxes, where are they going to live now?