The Language of Love

I'm not looking at my stars this year. Dive right in. Start as I mean to continue. Go with the flow. Probably means more of the same but I reckon my stars said as much -that's my prediction anyway

I'm seriously wondering if there's every a forecast (particularly a 'long range' one) that is negative? They all seem to be fairly positive...and about the same. Has there ever been a yearly forecast that said something like:

 

Well, Cap, 2012 is going to be a damned rough year. With Jupiter in retrograde for the next 13 months, your luck's out, me matey. Expect nothing but broken bones and bruises, trees falling on your dwelling and/or car, and just a bunch of hard times. You're bound to have business deals fall through, and they will do so miserably between 10 June and 20 August, when the Moon is opposite your ruler Saturn.

 

As for your love life...well, sucks to be you! If you're single, you'll remain that way--painfully so, even, as you will field a whole host of rejection between 31 March and 1 May. You might get some one-night stands, but even that won't amount to much...expect some serious disappointment. If you're involved in a relationship...well, hopefully your inner strength (which is legendary) will carry you through, because you're in for some rocky times. And your significant other will often threaten leaving you...but you can get through this, you Goat you! You were made for challenges, and this will be a doozie!

Positive? Well, naturally, can you imagine a forecast that was realistic?

 

Capricorn - This year in one in which you will struggle with financial woes and the strange inexplicable death of a family pet. Beware of tall dark strangers and start looking for that better job now.

 

Doesn't really work does it? Astrology is a fundamental foundation stone of western religion which represents the middle eastern influence on christian culture (otherwise we'd still be sacrificing burglars on certain holy days) and the whole point of prophecy and end-timer belief systems is that there is hope for the future. You'd expect that of course bearing in mind the low life expectancy and the uncertainty of the ancient and medieval worlds that cemented these religious concepts in place.

 

Then again most modern astrologers are merely journalists filling in the blanks for their weekly pay packet. Most of them know diddly squat about prophecy anyway. That too is something that's been with us regarding prophetic systems for a very long time and won't go away anytime soon. I saw a book in my local library the other day - Fractal Time - in which the author conceals a numerology system in the guise of modern quantum mechanics. It still represents the same ideas of ebb and flow in peoples lives.

 

So basically it's all rubbish. As if reading a paragraph in the newspaper is going to prepare me for lifes little problems. Come to think of it... I wonder what's in my stars today?....

...And this is why I read a few every morning. I need a good laugh