Festive season or not, I am still unemployed, and therefore my jobsearch continues. It's continued for so long now that it seems almost like a job in itself. As long as I achieve my targets and objectives on a regular basis I get regular pay. In fact, the only real difference is that instead of one all important boss, I attend an office full of them. Or at least it would be if I could get through the door.

The programme centre has a push-button intercom through which you must attract someone's attention and persuade them to unlock the front door remotely. As if my life long struggle with doors was not enough, now I seem to be stuck with a lifelong struggle with doorkeepers.

The six options on the device always change between visits. I suspect it's some fiendish plot to make claimants use their brain once in a while. One of them opens the door, after a brief verbal contest, so it's just a matter of getting used to apologising, successfully deducing the correct choice from the tiny handwritten clue next to each button, or simply getting lucky.

As it happens the economic downturn has made this quest somewhat simpler, as the various agencies employed by the government fall by the wayside. Once there were six options. Now there are twp. Which one? This? Or that? Help, this is too difficult for a claimant. We're not used to making decisions in our regulated 'do as we tell you' world!

Out of nowhere appeared a Man-In-Grey. You must have come across one or two of those bog standard office types in your time. I think they're factory made in China. Anyway he ambled up to the door and appraised my efforts in attempting to gain entry. Clearly I didn't impress him with my negotiation skills. And since the door refused to budge even after persuading the tinny disembodied voice that I was supposed to be in there. I don't think he was impressed by my futile rage.

"You just need to wait a second" He advised me helpfully. Mate, seriously, shut up. This door and I are arch-enemies. I know it better than you do.

Nonetheless he took no notice and pushed a button with that quiet calm confidence guaranteed to irritate lesser members of the human species. He too answered the voice and asked for access. Then he waited for a second. Then a few more. Then pressed the button again. Eventually he leaned forward and spoke into the grill "I'm not able to access the building".

Once Inside

Is anyone else having a frustrating festive season? As soon as was allowed into the programme centre I was informed that I should go home and wait for a phone call, because with the economic downturn there's only one eigth as many staff there as there was originally. That was nothing compared to yesterday. I foolishly made the mistake of choosing the same time as everyone else to go shopping. The queues at the supermarket - not a building known for generous space to begin with - looped around the shelves.

Excuse me?... No, I just want some chicken nuggets on special offer... What?... You want to get by?.... Erm....

Once Outside

Homelessness has gone up by 13%. 70,000 children in Britain are sleeping rough at Christmas this year. Up to thirty years can be knocked off your life expectantcy by homelessness. We do tend to step over people who fall by the wayside - I'm no different - and according to the shelter representative interviewed on the news just now, it can happen to anyone.

So I guess I'll have to be thankful for the roof over my head, even if it isn't as warm as I would prefer it to be.