It has been an interesting and busy week:

Green Lantern

The previous Thurday night � I went to a friend�s house and watched the recent Green Lantern film on DVD. Now, I�m far from a superhero/comic book geek, and most of these type of films interest me only in as much as any mildly entertaining action adventure film might. However, I found Green Lantern to be a wonderful film, and thoroughly enjoyed it. Don�t be put off if these sort of things aren�t your usual cup of tea.

Dee � Eye � Ess � See � Oh

A disappointing evening on the following Friday. The Residents Association of the sleepy little village of Aquis-Of-The-Romans had put on a disco for all residents, complete with buffet. Only about twenty folk turned up, and they were the �usual suspects�. What a miserable lot the rest of the parishioners are!

Conference Call

That weekend saw me packing my bags and heading off to one of the hallowed Cambridge Colleges . Am I to be the token comprehensive school student in the otherwise Public School intake, ready for the cr�me de la cr�me of an education? No. Periodically, HikingHolidays-R-Us use the college as a facility for a conference of all their guides/leaders. So, along with 208 of my 300 colleagues, we got a glimpse of how the elite get educated, and whilst we were served duck, rather than swan, in the great dining hall, I still felt the weight of history and tradition pressing down upon me.

And what did I take away from this wonderful conference. Firstly, it�s a great opportunity to meet with your fellows. We�re quite an isolated bunch, and working almost exclusively in the field as we do, we rarely get the opportunity to meet up, exchange stories and advice, share experiences and tips, and shake hands with people you haven�t met since last time. You know, all that sort of thing. It�s also the time we get issued with new gear. This year�s fleece is bright red, which doesn�t suit me one iota, and the T-Shirt shows my paunch! There was also a strange object consisting of a small strap connecting a carabiner at one end (always useful) to a soft rubber object at the other. The soft rubber object resembled a toilet seat for an Action Man. No one knew what it was for. It turns out you force the neck of a bottle up through the toilet seat, and attach it to your belt/rucksack with the carabiner. QED.

Step aside Clooney and Laurie

I returned home on Monday night, and found that there really is no rest for the wicked. Tuesday found me on my annual First Aid refresher. It taught me what I pretty much knew anyway:

1 � People who have a cardiac arrest this year are more likely to be saved by using fast, deep chest compressions during CPR, and no breaths. They differ from last year�s cardiac arrest victims, who needed a different combination of thrusts/breaths, and they (in turn) differ from the cardiac arrests of the year before. They change it every year to make it simpler to remember! They have no sense of irony.

2 � No matter how many compressions/breaths you do, your patient is likely to stay dead anyway, unless they get a defibrillator to them in less than two minutes. The whole dog and pony show of bouncing on their chests and blowing into their mouths seems to exist principally to keep you occupied while you wait for the paramedics to remove the cadaver. Does that worry you at all? Eat more fruit and veg!

The Wild Boys (of which I am one) are calling on their way back from the fire

At last, the time arrived. Some months ago (4th of June, in fact), my much anticipated attendance at a Duran Duran gig was foiled by Simon LeBon�s throat infection. Come December, his larynx is now good as new, and that night he belted out the classics at Sheffield Arena with aplomb. What a night!

LeBon was on fine voice. I sang myself hoarse. I even managed to sway slightly in the tiny space allotted to me by Sheffield Arena. The only downside was that, having been ushered to some very nice seats by arena staff, we were turfed out by the real owners of those seats at the end of the support act�s bit. Close examination of our tickets revealed that the usher needed glasses. Our real seats were so high, the air was quite thin once we'd roped up and climbed to them.

Let�s go Dutch

I think I mentioned before that 2012 will see a departure for me. HikingHolidays-R-Us, ever the innovators, are launching a gaggle of Cycling holidays this year. One of these will be based in Holland, and I (showing the rash and impulsive side to my nature) agreed to give it a go. I did used to cycle in Holland, so on the face of it, not so rash. The downside is that, not only is it nearly 20 years since I cycled there, it must be over 10 years since I did any serious cycling. I predict the first 7 months of 2012 will see me quite saddle-sore while I get back into the swing of it!

Another admission is that this will be the first time I�ve lead in a country where I don�t speak the lingo. Not a problem in Holland, everyone keeps telling me. The Dutch all speak excellent English. This is without doubt true. However, one of the things our clients state quite categorically is that they want their guides and leaders to be speak the local patois. So, I need to learn at least enough Dutch to be seen by them to use it occasionally. I�ve just started, and I can report that it�s a tough one. Daag!