Who killed Bambi?
Entry posted by GhostOfClayton
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'Probably me', would be the answer to that question. On Wednesday night I was driving past a wood just outside the sleepy little village of Aquis-of-the-Romans. A movement just outside the field of my headlights caught my eye, and before I could react, a deer leaped out onto the road and in front of the car. Thud! . . and then a 'thud-thud' as it went under each of the right hand wheels. That gets the heart beating, let me tell you.
What do you do after you've hit a deer? This is a different question from "what are you supposed to do after you've hit a deer?" What you're supposed to do is calmly pull to a halt where it is safe to do so. Ensure the carcass isn't causing a traffic hazard, and if it is, remove it to the side of the road. Then inspect your car for damage, only pulling away again when your car has been made up to a safe and drivable condition. What you actually do is to keep driving, wondering what you would do if you did stop and go back to the bloody corpse you have left behind. Consider how horrible it would be to have to touch said mass of fur and innards, let alone drag each individual bit (at this time, in your mind the deer is in at least two pieces, rent in twain by the wheels of your car). As you're thinking this, you're getting further and further away from the scene, and thus it's getting less and less likely you'll go back to encounter the horror that awaits.
I did go back . . . eventually. I had to. My number plate was no longer attached to my car. I HAD to go back to firstly, save the cost of a new number plate, and secondly, hide the evidence that links the crime directly back to yours truly. Was it a crime? No. Deer are a wild animal, and as such you can pretty much do what you want to them. Deer, rats, etc. are all legally the same. Had it been a pheasant, then that would have been different. They share the same legal status as the local Lord of the Manor's favourite pet. If you run one down, you can't pop it in your boot and take it home for supper, (but, strangely, the guy in the car behind can do.)
Back to the hapless Bambi. What did I find when I went back? Remarkably, nothing but my number plate! Somehow, despite the GhostMobile hitting, and then driving over it (at about 40mph), it still had enough life left in it to crawl away, presumably to expire peacefully in the woods.
Damage to the GhostMobile? One quite large, fur covered, crack in the bumper, and removal of number plate.
Damage to GhostOfClayton? Several long lacerations to my forearm while trying to re-attach the number plate (not as easy as you might think on a Honda Whateveritis).
On the subject of cars
Inspired by Ursus' last blog, I also would like to take this opportunity to drift nostalgically back to my late teens. As a newly qualified driver, I used to look at the Ford Capri with covetousness bordering on obsession. I passed one the other day � I haven't seen one in years � I'd still like to own one.
If music be the food of love . . .
Inspired by one of DocOfLove's previous blogs, where her taste in music was hinted at, I have decided to share my musical taste with you all.
The way I usually listen to music is through my iPod. It's only an old 8GB device, but it still the vast majority of my music on there. My usual habit is to turn it on, hit 'shuffle', and see what comes along.
If it's convenient, I'll make a note of the first half dozen or so tracks that appear in any given day. Who knows, someone may be introduced to some music they haven't heard, but do like. It's a bit like a dating agency, only I'll be introducing people and music that have never met before, but may eventually get married, have kids, and live happily ever after.
Then again, they may decide that they're not for each other straight away, and agree not to date each other again. Who knows? Life's like that . . . it's a rollercoaster ride!
So, here goes . . . is your safety bar in place? Yes? Anticipation is building as we ratchet steeply upwards for the first big drop . . .
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2DLp-vE3AKg ' class='bbc_url' title='External link' rel='nofollow external'>The Calculation by Regina Spektor
More next week (or the week after if I'm away).
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