Swindon is a place of opposites. A place that is comfortable with its future but not with its past. A place that aspires to be a city but cannot free itself of a small town attitude. A place that is ribbed by comedians and... well... deserves to be. This paragraph alone probably puts me on a council ninja hit-list but I shall not be silenced.

I saw a letter in the local newspaper written by a concerned visitor. His Swindon experience was marred by the number of rats running round the old place. If you're not used to our jungle enviroment I imagine that was pretty shocking, but hey, at least he hasn't caught bubonic plague or something. Some people are so fussy. It seems peculiar to me that for a town that is constantly being chopped and changed, the citizens repeatedly say they like it how it is. What? Rats and all?

They say that hot weather can bring changes in behaviour and not for the better. Over this october weekend (the hottest ever recorded) we had a street party outside my home. You know, the sort I'm not invited to? It was a gathering of lads, a feature of Swindons non-gay nightlife, where they were free to bellow, yell, and advertise their butchness to attract the females in the early house of friday and saturday night.

So what makes them worthy of heroic status? Alcohol? Numbers? Volume? They really have no idea. But that's Swindon for you. Incidentially that was also verbal abuse the other night lads. I don't suppose you care too much (being all tough and macho) but I wonder how it would take take you to burst into tears if you got arrested for it? Ask any policeman. Hey... That reminds me... Where did you lads all get to last night?

For The Better

In other news I see the Conservative Party are holding their annual conference. I suppose I should say something about that. Not sure what though... Think of a word... Any word... Anyhow, I doubt the politicians gathered in Manchester will be discussing Swindon's rat problem. If it comes to that, I doubt they'll be discussing Swindon. More likely they'll be plotting to make the world a better place. Trust me guys, you're on a loser, Swindon's been trying to do that for ages. Trouble is we're stuck with the same people in it.

And For The Worse

Nothing lasts forever, and in englands wet and windy land, good weather soon gives way to something less desirable. The street party season is to close soon as the remnants of hurricane Ophelia are set to dampen our british spirits. So I'll be able to get some sleep then?