Fifty? Who Cares?
Entry posted by caldrail
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Take a deep breath Caldrail. Today you are fifty years of age. Funny thing is I don't feel like I'm fifty, apart from the usual disintegration of the male body in middle age. They say you're as young as you feel and coincidentially I keep getting people telling me that I'm still young. It seems the average person has a very poor understanding of human biology.
Fifty is one of those milestones in your life. Quite why the number fifty is significant is a matter of curiosity to me. There's no legal or cultural change at that age. I don't look any different. I don't feel any different. All I did was wake up this morning, study the crags in the bathroom mirror, and plodded off about my business as usual. Heaven forbid that I should take the day off from my jobsearch. Since they don't respect my title in any way whatsoever, I seriously doubt my birthday will impress them.
That brings me to an interesting point. By now a typical reader might be speculating the orgy of festivites I'll be facing tonight. It's expected that I endure some large party to celebrate my fiftieth. I suppose in better circumstances I would. It is after all expected. There's almost a competitive element involved in which I must stage some spectacular celebration or be considered a loser, fit only be spurned and scorned.
Let's be honest - it isn't going to happen. Fifty? Not this year. Does that make me miserable and upset? No. It doesn't. During the last weekend I attended a group discussion on how an individual can make a positive contribution to society. One young chap spoke up, a sufferer of Aspergers Syndrome, and he said that his life was being dragged down by those around him until he made a concious decision that happiness was his to command. That might seem a tiny or irrelevant thing to say but it wasn't. The fact that my fiftieth won't be marked by some massive party in which six hundred drunkards will fight to the death, several thousand chickens slaughtered in a mindless buffet, or teams of hot hatches racing around the local area in a daring attempt to win the honour of being crowned champion, is neither here nor there - though I suspect the police will be relieved.
Okay, my world is not as wondeful as it might be. But who cares? Awww what the heck. I am going to take the day off. Don't care. It's my birthday and I'll enjoy it if I want to.
Ding!
What's that? Someones ringing my doorbell? Probably someone's got the wrong door, which is usually what happens, but you never know. It might be a birthday present sent to me by some kind person that needs signing for. Nope. It wasn't. Instead I was greeted by two plain clothes policemen. You mean... No... Surely not?... My stolen Eunos Cabriolet has been found?
My hopes were cruelly dashed. Cast your mind back if you will but long time readers might remember that the Job Centre once began the rigmarole required to get me a shotgun license. All I ever did was make a sarcastic remark when I was in a bad mood and asked by a claims advisor if there was anything I needed. I never expected anyone to take that request seriously.
One might have hoped they'd wish happy birthday but there you go. Anyhow, the policeman politely explained that someone had reported an attempt to obtain a firearm and they needed to eliminate me from their enquiries. Luckily they didn't seem to be armed. Aren't our policemen wonderful? That's what you get for having an argument with a jumped up arrogant busybody at the Job Centre I guess. No problem. I merely explained the circumstance and that the event had happened ages ago. The policemen left happy knowing I wasn't about to commit crime or violent rampage. I went back inside grieving for my poor lost Eunos, youth, and any sign of birthday present deliveries.
By The Way
Ye gods this is a warm day. Glad I took the day off. Maybe I did get a birthday gift after all? Always look the bright side.
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