You might think from reading this blog that things aren't quite going my way. Correct. However, it isn't all that bad, and sometimes I end up with a few quid left my pocket to indulge my passion for takeways. This week didn't quite leave me enough for my favourite curry. So it's a bag of chips then?

Do I really want to go up the hill at the back of my house and barter for the wrong meal in that chinese fish and chip shop? As far as I can tell, they have no comprehension of customer service or the english language. No, not this time, today I will stroll a little further to one of the other fish and chip shops in the area.

The one I chose turned out to be a frantically busy fast food outlet. Those young ladies behind the counter work non-stop in very warm conditions. I'm not one of their regular customers, just an occaisional visitor, and I noted a look of wariness on the woman who took my order. What? Do I look like Jack The Ripper or something?

Maybe I was sweating too much? It was very warm inside that takeaway with the pile of food gradually mounting on the hot plates as the little chinese gentleman cooked more at breakneck speed. It's no good, I had to stand outside.

Although this was a back street area the road junction next to the shop remained busy. Possibly because people were coming home from work at that time of day, or possibly because the locals had found this route to be a useful shortcut. Either way my attention was finally drawn to a menacing black BMW. Not because menacing black BMW's usually attract my attention, but because the menacing gang of youths inside the vehicle were looking at me a little bit menacingly as the car slowed to a halt in the road.

Uh oh. This looks dodgy. I gave them a stare back, a sort of disapproving 'What Do You Want?' kind of glare. All of a sudden they accelerated away. What? Do I look like a mafia hitman or something?

Now here's something even stranger. The girls behind the counter looked far more comfortable as the handed me my chosen meal - exactly as I ordered it - and even the little chinaman bade me a cheery farewell from behind the stacks of food he was preparing in advance. What? Do I look like a knight in shining armour or something?

Cars That Don't Stop

The bus stop along Rejents Circus in Swindon is sometimes used as an unofficial overtaking lane. Trafic on the three lane road next to it have to go over speed bumps you see, whereas busses aren't impreded by such obstacles. It's all a bit dodgy really and the biggest suprise is that a police car hasn't set off in hot pursuit every time this happens.

As I was walking beside the library the other day I heard the sound of a hot hatch preparing for a mad dash. Yep, there he goes, accelerating hard down the bus stop to undertake the cars negotiating the obstacle course designed to slow them down. Not so unusual you might think. I often see youngsters doing that.

At the end of the stop, which opens to a dual carriageway leading out of Regents Circus, he swerved right across two lanes of traffic to carry on round. Dodgy... Very dodgy... Obviously doesn't want his chips to get cold.

What's He Up To?

Every day I pass the front of the Old College site. It's fenced off now of course, withsprouting trees and blackberry bushes between the low brick wall and the tall white plywood fencing behind it. I've even seen people doing a spot of blackberry picking earlier this year, and that's something you don't usually see in urban areas. More something you do during idyllic walks in the countryside on sunny days. But hey, that's Swindon for you.

Naturally I'm curious as to what extent nature has reclaimed the site since it was abandoned. I know about the bats but entering the premises isn't recommended. Still, I resolved to climb onto the brick wall, look over the wooden fence, and grab a few photographs. There we go... It's a bit windy mind you... The curved stone top of the wall doesn't make your footing too secure either... Heck, I'm getting too old for this sort of thing...

I wasn't disappointed. A miniature forest is growing on what was once a grass bank, with even more trees growing out of the brickwork A passing car blew his horn at me as I leaned forward. Relax, look, here's my camera. What? Do I look like a down and out?

Makeover of the Week

Clearly my appearance is suspiciously close to 'Dregs Of Society' standard. It isn't the first time I've been accused of illegal activity. A long time ago a shopkeeper was determined to prove I was a shoplifter. To this day another points at me and calls me a thief. Oh just go away you nobhead.

I once had the police tempt me with a bogus old lady and her easily grabbed shopping. Spotted that one. Old ladies don't have the faces of a twenty year old no matter how much they shuffle. Where's the police? Oh, over there, lurking in a doorway in plain clothes.

Enough is enough. I get the message. So I spent this morning wandering around a shopping mall checking out the latest fashions and finding cheap clothes I can actually afford. Sweatshirts are hard to find these days. I popped into one store and approached a young woman, asking her if she had any in stock. She stared at me me with that sort of 'Help - I'm out of my depth' look on her face. Just goes to show what effect new clothes have on a woman. Even if they're still in the shopping bag.