What's going on out there? This is a big old planet, however small Ryanair makes it seem. Time then to switch to Auntie Beeb, Britains most watched news channel, and check out world affairs unfolding from the comfort of my comfy chair.

More huffing and puffing about the US debt crisis. Apparently politicians are under pressure to find a solution, which is pretty much what ours do for a living, so obviously crises aren't as common across the Pond. Come on guys, sort yourselves out, we want something interesting to see.

What else? Well, more huffing and puffing from british politicans over the question of health funding, a very fertile subject of debate and scandal going back decades. Come on guys, sort it out. Or do politicans deliberately leave things unsorted to justify their jobs? Certainly hasn't helped them in Syria where government crackdowns have probably killed 130 people or more.

Is that it? Pretty much. There were a few time fillers like the news that UK drivers applying online for licenses must state whether they wish to become organ donors, or a wall mosaic buried in Rome since the time of Nero has been uncovered. Is it just me or is the british television news a tad boring? They seem utterly unable to find anything interesting and instead focus endlessly on yet more revelations, however minor, of the same old scandal that's been covered for a week or more. It feels as if our television news is planned ahead of time rather than reacting to events around the world with enthusiastic journalism.

Time then to switch over to Russia Today. I do this occaisionally because I find it helps to see news from a different perspective, and in any case, I like to see somethiing different than our dour repititious analyses of debates and scandals. And what a difference!

I watched a fascinating piece about how Russia is planning to get rid of many legal requirements regarding private flying in the former Soviet Union. The reporter showed a mass of files required to operate aeroplanes over there. Even transcripts of conversations between mechanics and pilots are required to be recorded, even if they happen to be the same guy. Hilarious. Quite an eye opener too, in case anyone is currently getting fed up with JAA rules for flying in Britain.

Also in Russia is news of devastation caused by tornado's. It isn't the just the US that suffers these problems. Mount Etna is erupting again and raising concerns. Serbians are blocking NATO convoys for some reason. Another bomb blast in Southern Afghanistan. A shocking report that SS veterans are gathering in Estonia to celebrate their nazi past. Oh, and there's a debt problem in the US. Join the queue. Greece is way ahead of you. I know. RT has reported on it.

The most incredible report was about Belgium, considered by the british to be the most boring country ever recognised. But no! It's in danger of splitting apart. They've had no effective national goverment for fourteen months. France has already prepared the way to accept Wallonia as its 28th province. Astonishing that something like that would happen in this day and age, and a possible harbinger of further seperatism that could affect even the United Kingdom.

Do you see what I mean? Colour, variety, and some incisive enquiry into what is going on out there. We're all conditioned to believe that the Auntie Beeb is incontestable, and given Russia's penchant for selective reporting in past decades, there will always be a suspicion that not everything is quite what they say it is. But at least I feel there is a world out there having watched it. The Beeb seem to have forgotten it.

Mission Impossible

My mission, should I chose to accept it, is to attend an interview with Miss R at the Programme Centre. She's suspected of being part of a gang of work programmers preying on innocent jobseekers. Worse still, she's believed to be a trained dancer and is wanted in connection with offers of social engagements. As it happens, we've met before, and yes - she did invite me along to a social gathering.

I have to admit I was pleasantly suprised. Not only has she learned to cope with her former clumsiness, she's improved her image to the point where her offers of social gatherings start to sound interesting. Yes - she did invite me along to a social gathering.

Hey... Does anyone know what this burning fuse is attached to?

This could be tricky... Well, I'm not worried too much, because I know my affairs are too lowly for the BBC to fit into their busy news schedule. If I can just escape the notice of Russian journalists.... So this is all top secret. Careless talk costs lives.

Oh who am I trying to kid? The Russians read everything of ours for decades.