What A Coincidence
Entry posted by caldrail
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I passed a small advertisment the other. "Life After Death". Apparently if I pop down and attend the lecture I can learn all about what happens when biology stops working. They also claim I can discover the Meaning of Life. I doubt they have a gargantuan supercomputer that's been calculating the answer to life, universe, and everything for the last seven million years, so I kind of wonder where they get all this information from, but hey, who knows? Perhaps I was Julius Caesar after all.
At this point I usually get all philosophical and start dissecting various dead theories. Today though, I will point out two interesting coincidences.
Coincidence No1
The advert was posted on the plywood fence surrounding the Old College Site. Now you didn't exppect hat shocker, did you? It is quite appropriate. The building is disused apart from a few vandals, beggars, urban mammalian scavengers, and a wandering secuirty guard whose purpose on site appears to be not to notice anything. This building is dead. It has ceased to be. Except the concrete corpse with broken windows and grafitti still stands.
I saw a program about what would happen if humanity simply ceased to be. Our cities and towns would apparently crumble and vanish within two hundred years. So if the owners are so reluctant to redevelop the site, perhaps they should just stick around? Nature will demolish it for them.
Oh yes. The coincidence. Well, as we all know by now, the site is due for redevelopment into Swindons latest tourist attraction, a real live working shopping mall. Not many of those left these days, what with the credit crunch, economic downturns, and carnivorous traffic wardens that fine you for the slightest hint of wanting to stay. An old site with new life. There. I told you it was a coincidence.
Coincidence No2
Today is the day when I begin my new two year course designed to turn me from a shabby listless scrounger into a energetic, dynamic go-getter with career prospects, smart clothes, and business compatible saloon car. I mean, is that life after death, or what?
If anyone has images of dole claiming zombies rising from the grave and dragging their dead limbs to the nearest workplace where they will toil in undead servitude for their new masters, I wonder if you're right. Is this initiative truly a form of life after death, or merely some shiney new chains in the same old dungeon? At the moment I don't know. Very soon I shall be summoned to that dark citadel where the employment service provider sits upon his throne, plotting and scheming to create a new race of super slaves to boost government statistics...
The government want to breath life back into the economy. They want to put all unemployed people back to work. That includes me of course. I'm not exempt from this government sponsored reincarnation, and if I were honest, I won't mind going back to work at all. At least that way I'll have some chance of paying my energy bills. Also the local burglar declared his intention to "tax" me last night, probably more to impress his friends than actually earn money from stealing my property.
Coincidence No3
This brings up an unrelated coincidence, as it happens, because in the light of the recent forced entry into a home by four villains, one of whom got himself stabbed by a member of the household and abandoned to die down the road by his friends, has led to a Commons debate about the rights of citizens to defend themselves and their property. As the law stands you can only use 'appropriate' levels of violence, but it makes no difference if you do carefully calcultate the correct force to apply in confrontations because inevitably the burglars rights have been infringed and the police like news headlines. So you get arrested as well as burgled. Like what the government does but without being voted into office. Now there's a coincidence.
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