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One Of Our Storms Is Missing


caldrail

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It's a funny thing about storms. I mean, if it rains, there's every chance you'll get wet. No matter how careful you are with watching weather reports or how many folklore rhymes you recall, wet weather is out to get you. I speak from bitter experience.

 

But storms? Almost invariably you're indoors when they announce their presence. Niw I find this peculiar. There's no obvious warning in many cases other than heavy looking clouds, yet like virtually all the other animals, wild or domestic, you just seem to know that a storm is about to unleash rain, thunder, and llightning in no particular order.

 

It must be that electricity in the air, that sense of buolding tension, that feeling that if you stay outdoors something bad will happen. Yet despite this useful instinct, some @ people a year still get hit by lightning. Some people never learn.

 

With rumours of storms crossing the country last night I made sure I sat down and watched the weather report on television. Yes, I know, they never quite get it right until it's about to actually happen, but unlike @ a year, I haven't so far gotten myself zapped by 13,000 volts. Imagine my disappointment when the screen animation showed some feeble spots of pale blue evaporating over my home town. No storms then? Typical. Now I'm going to have to re-schedule my entire day.

 

The Best Bits From Tuesday

I have a strange optimism about tuesdays. After the average monday, it can only get better. I like to believe that for fear the rest of the week will be just as bad. After all, my AOL horoscope says a friend will create problems for me all week. Not really sure what friend they're talking about, but hey, if it's written in the stars...

 

Anyhow, I ambled down the hill for my daily dose of internetting at the library. Sideshow J, our jovial and strange-haired coordinator at the work club, shot past me on a bike and refused to stop. Very important man is Sideshow J, and he had business to attend to. Hmmm.... That doesn't appear to have caused me problems.

 

I reached the traffic island, the last stop before entering the hallowed gates of Swindons brave new library, when I heard a familiar sound. You know how it is when you hear something in the background and react without thinking? Of course the sound was an original 60's series Star Trek communicator warble, which some idiot decided to use for his mobile phone ring tone. I actually stopped and looked around. Hopefully no-one noticed what a trekkie-phile I am.

 

Sadly the delights of internetting have to wait untiil I've done my chores. Trawling through the ads for jobs here and there I click on 'apply' in rapid progression. Is it just me, or is the job market getting silly? Administrator wanted. Must have lifetime experience of office enviroment, able to leap tall cabinets in a single bound, must be faster than a speeding memo, and obviously only graduates will be considered. And that's for a three month contract only. Sheesh.

 

Click on 'apply'. Yes, I know, I don't even come close to their requirements, but the job centre will have me turned into a refugee from a Charles Dickens novel if I don't make the effort It's getting like that everywhere now. Employers and angencies are asking for stupid qualifications and qualities.

 

It wasn't just me of course. A chap in the next cubicle was trying to find work as a security guard. There was a time when security work was easy to find. They couldn't get anyone to apply at all, such was the low pay and terrible conditions they offered. Now, with government regulations introduced, only the highest calibre square jawed hero may be even considered for permission to apply. And of course you need SIA certification.

 

Unfortunately the chap was being assisted by a librarian whose knowledge of security work is not extensive, and he mentioned that a CIA card was required. Really? Wow, that's cool. Where do you get one of those? Five minutes later a stranger with an american accent approached him asking questions about using the computers. I kid you not.

 

And The Storms?

Nope. Not a flash or rumble anywhere. I can only conclude that this was a CIA plot to prevent Cliff Richard singing at Wimbledon.

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Just hit Central London and we had the joy of an aborted Fire Alarm coincide with it.

 

Mind you despite the weird ululations and suspicious smell of burning coming from a nearby cupboard I didn't notice anyone rushing to put their coats on and leave - have us go out in that - yeugh!

 

BTW 1: The same symptoms occured during a false alarm early last month and I was assured then it was neither dangerous nor related to the alarm going off.

 

BTW 2: I have been assured by building services that it WILL be sorted out this time - time will tell - if we don't burn up or get drowned first :blink:

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What a choice. Burn alive inside or get zapped bu 13,000 volts outside. just life in the big city I guess.... Oh, I see, it was a false alarm... Now I get it.

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What a choice. Burn alive inside or get zapped bu 13,000 volts outside. just life in the big city I guess.... Oh, I see, it was a false alarm... Now I get it.

 

The problem with 'false' alarms is that sometimes they aren't and if the alarm status goes from 'prepare to leave' to 'immediate evacuation', irrespective of the weather, just in case out you have to go. Good job I carry suncream and full waterproofs these days - all eventualities catered for B)

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