"How long have I got mate?" Asked an optimistic motorist at the bottom of the hill last night, planning to use the loading bays cut into the pavement. He was of course not asking the question to me, but one of the two traffic wardens busy handing out tickets to motorists who didn't think to ask.

I can't call them traffic wardens anymore (nor anything less polite). Instead, they're called Traffic Flow Monitoring & Enforcement Officers or something similar. I should know. I've applied to be one a few times. Obviously I'm not considered cruel and heartless enough.

Unfortunately for our motorists, the two gentlemen pursing their lips at yet another hapless victim of their expensive bureaucracy most certainly had no qualms at handing out summary justice. Luckily, however, the nearest one warned him "No time whatsoever Sir. Double yellow lines."

So that was that. Meanwhile a frantic crowd of late opening shop assistants sprinted for their cars in a sort of Le Mans start. Having cleared the bottom of the hill, the two officers waited briefly to catch any cheeky drivers returning immediately, then wandered off to extort their tolls elsewhere.

Peace And Quiet

This morning has to go on record for being the quietest morning in the library ever. No phone calls, no old age pensioners seeking a librarian to remenisce to, no wierdo's struggling with reality, not even BFG's insistence the world stops because she wants to get off. But it's more than that. There's so little traffic moving outside.

Ah. Now I get it. People haven't journeyed into town this morning because parking is getting harder. Hmmm... I wonder how this helps the local economy? Especially since teenagers are now required to pay up to 120 times the value of their cars in insurance. One lad was quoted