The health service is determined to prove I'm not well. As part of their quest to put me under the micropscope I've been asked to attend some strange scanning session. Apparently it's another excuse for that young lady nurse to daub me in gel. I can't wait.

Thing is though I keep hearing complaints that the health service can't deliver this or deliver that. I must be honest, as someone who's never needed much in the way of treatment, I haven't noticed any problem at all. So what's the deal? I'm not asking or getting any preferential treatment. Or have I accidentially signed a release form for medical experiments?

I have to admit, I've never heard of these big expensive gizmo's they want to try out me. In my mind I have this image of covert nazi scientists hiding an enclave of laboratories in a remote Swindon hospital. Cue lightning, thunder, and reckless bus drivers winding their way up that lonely dual carriageway...

A Bit Of Privacy, Please

Just of late I've noticed a lot of news items dealing with privacy matters. It's bad enough hackers getting into all sorts of networks and stealing information about our gameplaying habits, but now that injunctions are not enough, I see talk of super-injunctions against people revealing private info.

But if you're a celebrity, surely the whole point of becoming one is to flaunt yourself publicly? I guess the obvious course of action is make yourself as dowdy and boring as posible. Stop doing stuff. Become forgotten. Then again, if you do that, the paychecks will stop coming in.

So the fashionable answer to that dilemma is to stop people talking about you so that people will keep talking about you. Or is it more the case the celebrities only want people to say the right things?