Jump to content
UNRV Ancient Roman Empire Forums
  • entries
    1,146
  • comments
    1,165
  • views
    266,389

Failures To Communicate


caldrail

429 views

It might be sunny out there, but what a chilly morning. A brief stroll through the park today was a bitter briefer than I anticipated. More like a brisk stroll.

 

I notice the lake is lower than usual. That gravel beach is exposed again. of course the birds love it, it allows them to get in and out of the water easily and somewhere to sleep on dry land away from the footpath inhabited by loud drunken human beings.

 

Except for a solitary canadian goose who seemed very keen to find someone with breadcrumbs on offer. Too early in the morning matey. Sorry. The old ladies aren't out of bed yet. But sadly my superior human communicative capability doesn't include making this clear to the deluded animal.

 

Ooops!

Animals are brilliant. They really are. Gibbons and their frantic split second accurate gymnastic chases. Orang-utangs and their lazy acrobatic skill. Human beings and their alcoholic meanderings. Or birds, with grace and style in conquering the skies.

 

Except... There was this one crow this morning. It swooped past me toward a willow tree overhanging the lake and when it tried to alight upon a branch, it didn't, basically. The clumsy bird vanished into the foliage in a sudden flurry of feathers and disturbed vegetation. Ooops. Let the side down there, a little bit. Even I made better landings than that in my flying days. Then again, I generally avoided the trees.

 

Now... About Your Shotgun...

It never pays to make a flippant jest in front of a claims advisor. Trust me, they have no sense of humour whatsoever, and will interpret everything you say as a declaration of intent.

 

So at my latest job searching interview the lady glanced up from her hotes and asked "So you want an ADR for your Shotgun License?"

 

Erm... Pardon? I don't have a shotgun license. I don't need a shotgun license. I have no legal purpose to buy and keep a weapon on my premises. Weapon ownership is specifically excluded by my letting agreement.

 

I would then be interviewed by police officers seeking to assure themselves that I was a responsible mature sane individual with correct secure storage for legal weaponry.

 

"I see Sir, and why do you require a shotgun license?"

 

My claims advisor thought I wanted one. it's tough getting a job out there you know...

 

Wow. That's going to impress them. ADR for Shotgun License cancelled. Must remember to keep a straight face next time I sign on...

 

Meanwhile, Back At The Programme Centre

At last I'm back in a warm office with all day to get on with my jobsearch. As it turns out, a chap is sat next to me and since his english isn't too good, he's latched on to me as his assistant in wading through the rituals of using computers.

 

"I am ver sorry to get in your way" He apologised very politelly. Don't worry mate, I have to wait for a phone call anyhow. "But I need to upload my CV. I have been told to make CV. Now I must upload it to this company"

 

Yeah, I sort of know what you want. Okay, finish your CV... Done it?... No, finish it off... Yes... Now you need to save it.... No, the other one... That's right... Now type in the filename...

 

"They what? Filename?"

 

Yes. Filename. So you can recognise your file, like 'My Name CV' or something.

 

So he typed mynamecv and saved it. Oh well. At least he listened to me.

1 Comment


Recommended Comments

I witnessed a squirrel falling out of a tree on Saturday. I was sitting in Castle Park in Colchester eating my lunch, and not three metres from me, a grey thing fell perfectly vertically from a tree to land with a significant thump (I was reminded of the Angels in the Lynx advert) and a cloud of dust. It then sat very still, obviously quite stunned for a few minutes, before taking a few tentaive jumps towards the tree trunk. More sitting looking stunned, and then it disappeared behind the tree trunk. I'm not aware of its fait thereafter.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=riwBXClOSyo

Link to comment
×
×
  • Create New...