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Dumber And Dummies

caldrail

Entry posted by caldrail

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I feel good about today. Not for any of the usual "Thank God it's Friday" reasons, but simply because it's such a fine day. Outside there's a blue sky without a cloud to be seen, the sunshine taking the edge of the chill I felt earlier this morning.

 

Talking about sunshine, the usual predictions of disaster are coming out now, because the sun reaching another turbulent phase in its eleven year cycle, and worse still, there's a mighty alignment in the galaxy about to occur, an event seen every twenty five thousand years, and with all this poppycock about the Mayan end of the world in december next year, I feel sure that I might as well enjoy what great weather we have right now.

 

Oh come on! You mean you think ancient civilisation knew the world would end next year? How? How could they possibly know that? Oh I get it. Ancient wisdom. Ahem.

 

Well, let me scoff not. Apparently there's going to be a presentation in Swindon shortly about wierd stuff like faces on the surface of other planets, alien visitations, and the terrifying truth about ancient astronauts.

 

No, I tell a lie, I am going to scoff. Ancient astronauts? In a period when lighting fires by rubbing two sticks together was the cutting edge of research into cooking food and staying warm, how did they build interstellar vehicles? Oh yes. I forgot. Aliens showed them how. Of course. How silly of me to forget that. I mean, if you're a paleolithic hunter/gatherer surviving by following herds of hairy beasts across freezing cold grasslands, building a spaceship would be a breeze if someone dropped a manual on How To Build UFO's in your lap.

 

Come on, people, wise up. We live in a technological society and most of us can't understand the instructions on how to use our DVD recorders.

 

Health Test Dummies

I see a news report today that doctors are training on new sophisticated dummies. Now that our local sex shop has closed, I imagine there's a lot of them about. That said, I'm glad that dummies are now longer confined to the horrendous and hazardous working conditions of crashing cars. Now that our bookshelves are full of literature aimed at teaching them to become useful members of society, I sense liberation for our educated slaves. Equal rights for Dummies!

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Melvadius

Weird stuff and the moon reminds me of the time, a good few years back, when I was at a Science Fiction convention and some of us felt that we could write better made-up stories than the Daily Star. for anyone who doesn't know this is a poor excuse for a tabloid newspaper primarily interested only in sex, made up stories and politics (OK only so far as who one of our politicians is currently sleeping with).

 

We spent about an hour dissecting some of their more outrageous stories - B25 bomber found on the moon (excuse me that crater it is sitting on is actually a mile across), Elvis found alive and well in.... you know the sort of thing.

 

Anyway we then spent half an hour making up a silly story about a taxi driver chasing NASA for an unpaid fare to the moon and back - a shaggy dog story involving an astronaut who missed his flight (extra payment for his backpack) and a device plugged into his cigarette lighter to make it fly so he could catch his spacecraft.

 

This fabrication was duly submitted it to the paper via one of our group to see if we could get some free publicity for the convention.

 

Anyway the upshot of this was they ran a story about an entire weekend 'conference of boffins' (sic) who were unable to disprove their 'strange but true' stories.

 

Score one for them but we still managed to slip the name of the convention into the story as the 'conference' spokesman ;)

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caldrail

The remarkable thing is how passionate some of these people are about thier adopted concepts of unwritten history. In most cases it's based on ignorance and perceptual misinterpretation, partly by the insidious nature of manipulative cultists and authors, partly by a psychological need to find something unique to believe in that sets them apart from the herd, or perhaps gives them some sort of status as a knowlegable person in that they know 'the truth'.

 

By the way, how is Elvis these days?

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