What a gloomy day. It just is. Waking up this morning after the christmnas season is a test of resolve to begin with without a grey, drab day to persuade you that sleeping in is a better idea.

News From The Drab Grey Town

Despite appearances to the contrary, a quick survey of the newspaper headlines reveals an armed robbery on a newsagent in Pinehurst. That area is one of the three 'P's of Swindon (Pinehurst, Penhill, and Park), our local sinkhole estates that taxi drivers refused to deliver to last year, so the fact a crime was committed there isn't suprising. What is worrying is the fact the robbers were armed. Okay, it does happen in Britain sometimes, but it's still unusual.

Help On The Streets

For revellers who lose their footwear in a drunken binge, or perhaps those having their trainers nicked in a well rehearsed armed robbery, I see that street pastors will be handing out flip-flops to help the unsteady go home.

What's the point? Any party girl capable of losing her high heels (and they do, regularly, as I see Cinderella's lost shoe on the street every week - poor girl simply cannot find Prince Charming at all) is more than capable of losing a rubber sandal. What self respecting party girl would resort to such ghastly unfashionable footwear? They don't even have printed leopard skin patterns. Besides, they always move in gangs of five. Getting home at night? That's what friends are for.

Statistic of the Week

An amazing statistic has come to my attention. Apparently there are ten million people in Britain alive today who will reach the age of a hundred. With the countries finances wobbling and the pension crisis making retirement a thing of the past, I can't help wondering if the government are secretly making sure we all survive into our centennial year so we remain fit, healthy, tax payers until we drop.

The person I feel really sorry for is the Queen. Poor woman now has to stay in office until she's one hundred and fifty so all these centennials receive their telegram from her. Still, keeps the old girl busy, doesn't it? I mean, what's the alternative? Most OAPs will be stacking shelves in supermarkets. Then again, she could always work on a sex-line answer service, making suggestive conversation to thrill the sexually challenged. Can't wait.