It's Monday, so it's time for my weekly blog, and this week, I have two stories to tell you all. Are you sitting comfortably? Then I shall begin . . . .

Limericks

I'm very fortunate that, no matter how bloody awful things get outside it, the stuff going on inside my skull is always pretty entertaining. When my mind is not otherwise occupied, it gets caught up with little tasks and trivia, and I can't seem to stop it. I don't want to seem like some kind of old letch, so I won't dwell on my recent, delighted realisation that, at the age of 64, (having not clapped eyes on her since 'The Good Life'), Felicity Kendal is still one outrageously hot lady.

No. . . such blokey banter is not appropraite here, and I shall say no more on the subject. A much more sutable topic here is what was passing through my mind whilst doing the washing up the other day. I found myself composing a Roman Limerick. However, by time I was rinsing the suds away, I was struggling to think of a last line, so I'm throwing it open to the Congniscenti that I know call by here. Suggestions please:

A young lass of the Corieltavi,

Sold her virtue for 20 denari,

A Centurion bought it,

and said, "who'd've thought it!",

Blah-DI-blah-blah . . di blah-blah . . . di blah-blah.

By the way, I'm aware of the proper plural form of 'Denarius', but that doesn't scan!

Next week, Pompeiian Haiku!

I said at the beginning of the thread that I had two stories to tell, and those of you who've been counting will know that you still have another one owing. So here it is:

Limes

The reason I'm spending so much time on UNRV is that my current task involves putting together a proposal for an 8-day walking holiday along the German-Raetian Limes, along similar lines to our Hadrian's Wall tour. Am I using UNRV for research? No. The trouble is, at the early stages of this sort of job, it's all done on the computer. "Why is that a problem?", I hear you ask. The problem is that my computer, like most nowadays, is connected to the internet, and (to quote Dave Gorman) the internet contains everything in the whole world, ever. I don't know about you, but I find 'everything in the whole world, ever' a bit of a distraction. Hence my far-too-frequent visits to this fine website, when I should be researching. I should be identifying the best 'section' of the 550km trail (my section needing to be walkable by the average hiker in 6 days), based on: scenic quality, historical value, access to accomodation and transport, length and height gain of individual days, etc. etc. . . . and I soon found out just how rusty my German was (it's been 3 years since I lead a tour in a German speaking country), when I discovered just how little information there is to be had in English.

So, if anyone has any real-life experiences of this fascinating Roman border, it would be great to hear from them. Call me! We'll do lunch.

Couple more things to add:

1. 85 more shopping days to The Eagle of the Ninth (if I keep reporting this figure every week, it's bound to be wrong!)

2. For the nostalgic among you, my Asterix book of the week is "Asterix and the Laurel Wreath".