Last night I succumbed to temptation. For those expecting a steamy account of wild passionate sex I have to say I share your disappointment, but that's the problem with middle age. You 'll see what I mean when you get there.

No, the attraction last night was Swindon Ghostfest 2010: Haunted Swindon, a presentation about the most popular local hauntings from Paranormal Site Investigations, who are best described as a supernatural Time Team. We had a nice cosy evening, sat around in the upstairs lounge of the central library in dim lighting, discovering that Swindon is one of Englands most haunted towns. It was over all too quickly.

It was interesting to learn that many ghosts are in fact nothing more than folklore, evolving from stroies told by parents to frighten their youngsters into not going where they shouldn't, later to frighten the parents of future generations who hear the tales and assume that the incredible coincidences they experience are things wot go bump in the night.

By the way. Avoid black dogs. Little tip there.

Back On The Beat

With the event over I was stuck for something to do for the rest of the night. I decided, with a flash of inspirational originality, to go for the cheap indian takeaway round the corner. They of course smiled and waved hello as I entered, never having seen me before during the last twenty years of patronising this particular establishment.

As I sat there waiting I watched the young ladies strolling past on the pavement outside. I think that must be something to do with indian spices. They do strange things to my taps and showerhead. But during this moment of middle aged fantasy I heard a band warming up next door in the gay bar.

Can you imagine anything worse than playing a gay gig? After several hundred gigs with Red Jasper alone, I'm pretty sure I never played one. We got pretty desperate for gigs at one stage, but never, ever, did we sink that low. Although we did encounter one strange guy hanging round the back of a Manchester venue once. We all got a hug. No pressure.

It was obvious when the band were starting their performance. I have to say, although it was a nice groove, it was a little ropey. Typical local band I suppose. Then a female vocalist started singing and suddenly the band woke up a little. That caught my attention. A young lady capable of inspiring musicians to greater efforts. I was almost tempted to take a look.

Still, on consideration, walking into my local gay bar is not something I plan on, curry or not. With my purchase in hand, I walked home as the band launched into a much more impressive second number. That's the spirit lads.