Buckingham Palace isn't happy. The climate is changing. And Prince Charles is dumbfounded by sceptics of Global Warming.

Look Your Highness, it really is very simple. There are a lot of people claiming CO2 is destroying the planet. It isn't. The CO2 cycle is almost as old as the planet itself, and for most of Earths history, the level of CO2 in the atmosphere was way above what we have today by orders of magnitude. CO2 has been rising again for millions of years, long before we invented dark satanic mills..

As for passing a 'malfunctioning' planet on to our children, what a laughable concept. Do you really believe we can actually control the Earth to that degree? Of course it isn't malfunctioning. It's changing. It always changes. It always has. If the planet becomes an uncomfortable place for us then it's likely we'll die out, just like any other species whose favourite enviroment has vanished.

Can we actually combat climate change? No. We might be able to avoid some of the worst excesses of mankind but keep the planet as a perfect paradise? How? There aren't any levers to puill. There aren't any convenient switches. Making lots of impassioned speeches will only add to the amount of hot air anyway.

In any case, CO2 isn't that much of a worry. Other gases, like methane, are far worse. And as human beings grow in number, as we farm intensively more and more, that's where the problem is coming from. Stop telling everyone to use their cars less, and tell them instead to stop farting.

In any case, if you feel that badly about it, sell the Aston Martin. Hey, it's a start.

I hope that relieves your dumbfoundness.

Trouble At Mill

I see in the news that George Osbourne is planning to tackle 'benefits lifestyle'. Does he actually believe I have a lifestyle at all? I had to give up flying aeroplanes. I had to give up driving fast cars. Heck, I've even had to give up socialising on a regular basis. Does he think I'm enjoying it?

His stated aim is to persuade people to go back to work. Thanks, but I don't need to be persuaded, I need to pay my bills. And it's no good complaining about the money I'm costing the government. What about MP's wages? You earn a great deal more for sitting on your backsides and making our lives difficult.

Foossil of the Week

They've discovered a new dinosaur. Sadly, it too expired lots of millions of years ago, but this one apparently had a tall spine on it's back to communicate with others of its species. That's what the news report says.

So.... These dinosaurs had radio aerials mounted on their backs? Cool.