Yesterday I was slightly greener than the day before. Nothing to do with imminent nausea, or envy at the Maserati that drives down the hill every morning, but compliance with the detailed instructions our eco-friendly ex-government foisted on us. Now that I can't simply leave unwanted bottles for the dustmen to collect, I must dispose of them responsibly myself.

My old kitbag was bulging with unwanted glass, making dull chinking noises as I walked down the hill toward the car park where I knew the recycling bins had been stationed. When I got there, the bins were absent. Brilliant. Well I can't just leave the bottles there by the side of the car park however tempted I might be. This is an act of responsibility for crying out loud.

Eventually I found a line of large bins for waste disposal by a small car park in Old Town. I was delayed in my task by TB, my former employment trainer, who was on her cigarette break, so I wandered over to say hello. Her colleagues ran away as I approached. What? Did I forget to remove the bolts from my neck? Luckily TB is made of sterner stuff and we had a pleasant chinwag for ten minutes, halted only by her desperate need to retain her job.

Thing is though, although the weather was supposed to be boiling hot this weekend, it never really got there, and yesterday was a typical damp Swindon day. It was however very humid, so as I stood chatting to TB I was forever wiping sweat away. Now they're telling us the jetstream is about to deliver prolongued low pressure across Britain, and that can only mean more damp weather. It's drizzling heavily as I speak. Worse still, they're forecasting thunderstorms later this week.

With energy bills soaring I'm tempted to rig a lightning conductor and get free electricity for a couple of seconds. Why waste thousands of volts? I'm not sure that's going to turn me green as such, and remember kids, don't do that at home.

God Of Thunder

We British are pleased to announce the latest word in remote control military aerial drones, the Taranis (named after a celtic god of thunder). Apparently this aeroplane is capable of crossing continents without detection by radar. It is virtually invisible. All for a low low price of