What is going on? Actually a few things here and there.. The 2010 Football World Cup in South Africa, the Wimbledon tennis tournament, and of course, the annual musical mud-fest of the Glastonbury Festival.

As for the World Cup, football sucks. It really does. So if it wasn't for the match to be played later today, I wouldn't give a monkeys for how we do. Being drawn against traditional foe Germany is a matter of great importance. Certain niceties have to be observed and giving the Hun a darn good thrashing is a traditional English sport. Losing is not an option chaps. Don't come home without a victory.

Wimbledon? Yawn. Wake me up when it's all over. I just can't get into this event at all. It's the intense seriousness, almost reverence, in which the way the game is conducted that puts me off. Besides, there's too much of a risk of hearing Cliff Richard perform live.

The weather man yesterday was smiling as he shrugged helplessly. Today will be the hottest day of the year so far, and there's nothing viewers can do about it. Well, it is warm, it must be said. Women are adopting a uniform of skimpy white tee shirt, pink shorts, and hair tied behind their head. Men are adopting the standard long shorts and bright tee shirt draped over their sloping shoulders and bulging stomachs. Have you noticed the british male walks around with shoulders forward, as if trying to look larger and more muscular?

So basically the usual summer stuff is going on. Streets are being bedecked with colourful banners in anticipation of community festivals, youths are sitting around playing guitar or playing with radio control cars, and generally shouting a lot at night.

Hang on though. Something strange is going on. This is the weekend where music fans congregate at Glastonbury for the world famous festival of music and mud-wrestling. But here's no rain. Not a drop. You can't have mud without rain. Glastonbury? Without any mud? It's the end of the world as we know it.

Get A Job Or Go Away

I do not believe what I've just read. Our new coalition governmet is planning to relocate unemployed people in order to find them jobs. I see. So creating a healthy economy is too difficult?

Oh hang on... They're looking at incentives to persuade people to be mobile rather than forcing them to be. For a moment there I saw myself as Arthur Dent, lying in front of the bulldozer that threatens to demolish his home, with a man from the council thoughtfully reminding him that the bulldozer won't be damaged at all if rolls right over him.

I can see the sense in this initiative but then... Doesn't it assume that the unemployed people involved are actually looking for gainful employment? What happens to the individuals who clearly have no intention of doing a days work? Is it right to let them them stay where they are, or force them to move elsewhere, to pass the parcel onto another council?

At what point do we grasp the nettle and tell someone they cannot choose anymore, and what does that say about our society?