Yet another day of unadulterated sunshine. I suppose it's politically correct to thank the internal combustion engine for this, but since car sales are struggling right now, I can't help wondering if I was right all along. That the weather isn't as affected by the motor car as the eco-concious and vote hungry politicians would have us believe.

This bright weather seems to be moderating driver behaviour too. Fewer drivers are accelerating madly down the local roads in a mad attempt to practice drag racing at Santa Pod, but instead are observing the traffic lights anbd slowing down calmly and orderly. What is going on here?

It must be the relaxing mood the weather is generating. British drivers are not known for being mild, though in fairness they're hardly the worst in the world. Some drivers are a little too relaxed however. On a two lane road just around the corner from the library, a hatchback slowly leaves the left lane to take the right exit, causing a momentary auditory assault from the driver they just cut across. Both cars sit there a moment. One driver furious and gesticulating, the other bewildered and outraged he was being treated in this manner. Pistols or swords, gentlemen?

Both vehicles move away, both drivers seething. Come on guys, everyone else is having a great time. Chill out. Then again, when the sun goes down and the younger element take the streets, the driving will be right back where it was. Doppler shifted thuds louder than the harsh engine tone as they speed by, punctuatued by an occaisional pfishhhhh! from the turbocharger. Motorbikes simulating the noise of a Grand Prix pit lane. More rarely, a loud electronic woooh! from a police car siren to warn someone or other that they're being watched.

It's hard to escape from that noise. With the weather so warm I have no recourse but to open the windows. The people across the road still don't draw their curtains of course and every so often I glimpse another exciting episode of their personal lives. Oooh look they're having sex again. In this heat? The woman knows I can see her and clearly gets annoyed that she's making a public display of her night time activity. One wonders why she doesn't close the blinds and keep it private. Or why no-one ever complains about her activities.

How To Have Fun Whilst Drunk

The Aussies are well known for their macho lifestyles and attitudes, but now they shoot each other for fun. Two drunken australians shot each in the buttocks with air rifles in a drunken spree. They thought it would be fun to see if it hurt. Maybe I need to stay off the Fosters for a while.

FLY!

I remember a canadian cartoon aired on television decades ago. It described the attempts through history of Mankinds attempt to achieve flight. Cavemen, medieval monks - all would ascend a high place and then get kicked off with the command "FLY!". And of course it all ended in dismal failure. But eventually Man learns to fly. We see a holiday maker walking through an airport terminal, out toward his aeroplane, ascending the steps, and then being kicked off the end with a yelled order "FLY!". It was funny, really.

There's an annual event in Britain where people build their own flying devices and attempt to fly by jumping of a pier, ending up dunked in the sea regardless of effort or ingenuity. Now the Ukranians are doing the same in Kiev, falling into the canal one after the other. Scientists reckon we have 4% neanderthal genese in our blood. I reckon we have 96% Lemming.