I sat down yesterday in the Town Gardens to enjoy a good book in the warm sunshine and chilly breeze. All that was missing was that seaside ambience.

Swindon does have a seagull population which is a bit strange since we don't have any sea shore whatsoever, and you'd need to travel some distance to find any expanse of dull grey water. I wonder if they've heard about this global warming thing and reserved nesting space for when the worlds melting icebergs raise the sea level to Swindon Town Gardens? Anyhow the seagulls were elsewhere being rescued by the Royal Navy after being refused permission by the authorities to fly home.

This was of course mid-week, so the weekend migration of families were absent. It was calm, peaceful.The sun was warm and I was sheltered from the breeze by the sunken lawn. Perfect. Or it was until a family decided to escape from a normal working week and found the same spot as me. their innocent and glassy eyed child then proceeded to drive around the lawn on some elctric buggy contraption cunningly designed to not resemble a car in any way whatsoever.

"Stay off the flowers, dear!" Her mother called. "Not in the flowers!"

Whoops. There she goes. Clearly she's going to be a 4x4 driver when she grows up.

Happy Birthday

On my way home fromTown Gardens I passed by the office where I did my work experience programme. At the bus stop was Miss A the Younger. She's been taken on as a permanent employee of the programme centre and she's already annoyed because she also happens to be the youngest employee in the office at the tender age of 18.

Oh hallo there. What's the flower for?

"It's my birthday" She smiled. How could I resist a birthday hug? Well now she's 19 years of age she ought to be aware that she'll be catching up with the rest of us one day. As it happened, her bus arrived right there and then, and whisked her away to safety.

Somebody else was having a birthday today. In the stillness of the library, marked only by the sounds of chatting downstairs in the coffee bar and the background of keyboard typing, one elderly gentleman began singing a birthday somng to his nearest and dearest over the internet. Where's Simon Cowell when you need him?

Advice of the Week

Can you seriously believe this? Pensioners are being advised to take up martial arts to avoid fractures. Headbutting piles of slates, chopping bricks with their bare hands, breaking down walls with vicious kicks, all with the intent to prevent broken bones. Brilliant. Even better, it keeps them exercised whilst they trundle around on mobility buggies. Now they'll be able to drive over rice paper without leaving a mark.