It's a very special day today. have you forgotten? You have? Okay, I'll remind you. This tuesday is World Pirate At Work Day. Now much of the eastern world is already back at home having missed this wonderful opportunity for japes, drinking songs, Johnny Depp impressions, Errol Flynn heroism, and old sea dog stories. Incidentially, most of America still has time to get involved, so come on America! Join us down the tavern for tankards of rum and a right 'ole sing-song. Here goes...

This way, that way

Forwards and back

Over the Stockroom Sea

Piles of clothes

And boxes to stack

That's the life for me

That little sea shanty was written and composed by J, who wondered what I was on and where could he get some. My own contribution was...

Old Silas had a pirate ship

He sailed the ocean blue

And on this ship he had a boss

Who told him what to do

With a yo ho ho

And a ha ha harr

Old Silas had a pirate ship

Steered by that Blind Pugh

Old Silas had a pirate ship

He sailed around the world

And on this ship he had a bird

Who never said a word

With a yo ho ho

And a ha ha harr

Old Silas had a pirate ship

His parrot had expired

Old Silas had a pirate ship

He weighed anchor back in port

He couldn't read his porno mag

Because he had been caught

With a yo ho ho

And a ha ha harr

Old Silas had a pirate ship

His court case he has fought

Old Silas had a pirate ship

The mainbrace he has spliced

He's not on the dole no more

They found him working twice

With a yo ho ho

And a ha ha harr

Old Silas had a pirate ship

Ain't the government nice?

Sadly the girls from the shop floor were a little confused by this outbreak of eighteenth century tomfoolery, especially Miss G, who by now thinks I'm a complete raving looney. Well, she was bound to find out sooner or later.

Our Latest Reader

It's with a big big hello that I welcome Miss A to the Rushey Platt Villa. Today she discovered piracy, banter, and the web address of my blog. So it's without further ado that I accede to her request and pass on a personal message...

KS smells

Well she should know. I have to say it was pleasing to discover this young lady has developed a taste for cider, a much maligned tipple much loved by me. I remember that short time in the eighties when cider drinking was fashionable. Designer brands and hugely inflated prices for what was in effect expensive scrumpy. Thankfully today cider is back where it was, a simple and alcoholic beverage for the discerning, and a source of oblivion for the undiscerned.

Our Quest For Fame

Our lunchtimes are normally quiet in the rest area, but I do notice how jokes start to fly back and forth whenever Manager G is present. On this occaision I was reading a newspaper which featured a series of photoshopped photographs, and one was a car festooned in cardboard boxes. Now I'm seriously jealous. That is a car to be admired. You see, the subtlety and variety of cardboard is much underrated. Even J, our trusty ships captain, hadn't realised how interesting boxes could be and when I suggested how much fun packing materials were, he suggested I was nuts. Surely cardboard is just a non-descript and dull colour? By no means. Let me educate you, J. I showed him a stack of cardboard boxes waiting to be crushed in the baler and pointed out the variety of shades. A yellowy beige here, a brown beige there, in smooth and rough textures.

"He's right" Added a nearby manageress. And that was that. But I digress. The important point was that I decided that the department store should strive for immortal fame and fortune by being the first team to successfully sail a cardboard boat across the English Channel.

"Sponsored by the Labour Party" Added Manager G. He has a point.

P.S.

Before I forget, friday is our last day at work, and also Au Naturelle Day. I will definitely be keeping my hat on regardless, just for decencies sake. Who is the mystery person that Miss L wants to see naked? We shall see.