As many of you might know, this last weekend was the time of year when we put the clocks forward one year, a ritual designed for no apparent reason other than statistics. Getting out of bed an hour earlier wasn't too difficult considering my downstairs neighbours had left their central heating on and whilst that wasn't apparent at first, by the early hours I was gasping for breath in that humid heat.

Time to go to work. The weather has turned rainy and I'm informed that snow might hit parts of Britain later in the week, which is almost bound to be elsewhere so I won't worry about that...

7:25 AM

J opened the doors and allowed me in with the usual exchange of pleasantries and jokes. "What? No KS?" he observed. Doesn't look like it.

8:00 AM

Big discussion about KS. Is he late? Has he forgotten to put his alarm clock an hour forward? The consensus is that we weren't going to tell him he was late. It might hurt his feelings with all of us rolling around the floor clutching ribs.

8:35 AM

No KS. What the..? Has he put his clock the wrong way? Will he arrive two hours late? The general consensus was that an hour late was funny, but two hours late demanded no mercy.

09:10 AM

Miss L loudly demands that J leave her alone because she 'doesn't want any more fingerprints on her donkey'

9:35 AM

Still no KS. Oh dear... If he turns up now, he will be lambasted to the point of tantrum.

13:00 PM

It's official, he phoned in sick. That's one more day than his placement allowance so he is also offically in trouble. Did we laugh? Mrs T called him a 'lazy piece of turf'.

14:05 PM

"Hiyah" Said a woman passing me on the high street. Who on earth is she? She merely shrugged and carried on her way shaking her head. For the life of me I haven't a clue who she was. Former girlfriend? Not with that woolly hat. Former fan of my musical past? No, she didn't ask for an autograph. Well, for now this chance meeting will remain a mystery. Perhaps the shoe that occaisionally gets left outside my home will fit her? heck - I hope not.

14:10 PM

It's official, I've been declared well and truly ill. A fever is taking hold and I'm writing this piece bleary eyed and breathless, coughing every so often to confirm I still live... Too ill to type any more.... Brain functions at 33% and falling... Core temperature rising... Imminent meltdown expected.... Cough.