A visit from the Health & Safety Executive set the tone of todays activity in the stockrrom. Everything had to be stacked safely. Which meant I had to restack everything. So once again unto the boxes dear friends, and those who were not stacking shall hold their manhood cheap, as Shakespeare himself might have put it.

KS popped into view during my tedious reassembly of random piles of distorted cartons and said "I've been told to give you a hand. Do the same as you."

Okeedokee. If you'd like to take care of the next aisle....

"Nah. I'm my own boss" He said and vanished. Oh suit yourself then.

Later that day he popped up again whilst J was was there discussing vital work issues such as how dull Monday was. KS repeated his statement that he had been told to help me out. Okay... Then maybe you could sort out that aisle over there?

"Nah. I'm my own boss" He said and vanished. Oh for crying out loud! Well, if he wants to be a bolshy teenager then he can visit a taxidermist. As it happens, it was me who ended up restacking almost all the chaotic boxes while he sat in a quiet corner listening to his personal stereo.

"You're a bit upset today, aren't you?" He observed jovially a little later. Upset? He has no idea how close I was to getting violent. Still, he wants to be his boss, so every attempt he made to ask me for guidance or opinion was met with complete indifference. He can have it all his own way. If he wants to be a team player, all well and good. If he wants to dismiss all the onerous or physical tasks, then he can be his own boss and the buck stops with him.

I'm beginning to understand how he gets off with women. He is insidious. Every chance he saw he was attempting to charm his way into my good books. Good grief, was I born yesterday? This is a guy who sprays himself with perfume every morning before he starts work. You have to witness it to believe it. The smell is indescribable.

Sorry KS, but your attempt to win respect was a failure. You used the wrong methods. Getting bolshy and defiant might impress your mates, but to me you're advertising what an irresponsible layabout you are. So please excuse me while I advertise it to the rest of the world. You may invite me to visit the taxidermist at your leisure. I'm not listening to teenage weight throwing contests.

My Stephen King Moment

This is my tenth week or so on placement at the department store. All of a sudden they've decided to create a register for us to sign in and out. So today for the first time I signed in. All to do with health & safety I guess, but then... Evil Lift nearly crushed me in it's powered doors once before, and today? One of our managers went missing. She entered the lift and was never seen again.

Tomorrow I have to take the lift down to the loading bay. It's plotting to kill me... I just know it...

Contract of the Week

...went to General Dynamics, who are no doubt popping champagne corks at the news they won the contract for developing a new light tank for the British Army. BAE, who were also in the running, are now to close two sites with the loss of five hundred jobs. Such is the price of failure in our cut throat modern globally economic and competitive era.

On the one hand, we curse our politicians and shake our fists. Surely they could have safeguarded british jobs? Well.. Yes, they could have... But if their new light tank had turned out to be less brilliant than expected, who gets the blame for all the extra funeral corteges creeping through Wootton Bassett in Wiltshire?

Of course everyone will want to take the credit if these new tanks work out. But who will lose the game of political chairs if these tanks turn out to be lemons? By then it will be too late, and soldiers will be returning in pieces. So I hope the Ministry of Defence made a good choice in awarding this contract because you can bet no-one will accept responsibility.