In my foolish innocence I quaffed one of those high energy drinks last night. No sleep for me then. I did manage to get a couple of hours rest in a semi-comatosed state when the drinks effects began to wear off. There goes the alarm clock. I seriously, seriously did not want to get out of bed. It was only the start of Miserable Monday...

Getting To Work

For me the journey to work is a matter of several hundred yards, so no problem there. This morning though I was accosted by a confused old lady who asked me about bus tickets. She's asking me? I know enough about bus journeys to leave a large area unfilled on a postage stamp. I don't know, sorry.

Oh no. She's getting all upset. Look, I'm sorry, but I genuinely don't know anything about bus tickets... Luckily for me there was some bloke getting into his car outside a newsagent, and he took the brunt of her desperate enquiry into the details of transdimensional local transport networks.

I was lucky. Poor old KS walked down his street only to see the bus driving past way off down the end. So he had to walk all the way home again and pay for a taxi. You see, having used up his absence allowance he cannot take any time off from our placement or lose his benefits. Even if he dies in a horrible road-sweeper attack he still has to crawl into work bloodied and broken. Well, he wasn't smashed (at least not this morning - last night was another matter) but he was suffering from flu. So I sympathise, because I was too.

Talking of getting smashed, J was partying over the weekend and being young and foolish, didn't bother with minor details of human health like sleep. So he too crawled into work, in his case the misery caused by a 'broken rib' which he swears he doesn't remember happening.

As it turned out, we were all a bit down with colds and flu.I had so many lemsips, lozenges, and gerbil pills that the universe sort of happened around me... The boss wants me to do something... Yep, I can do that... No really, that's fine... No Problem... What did she say?

Stuff About Universes

In one of our banter sessions (one of the ones I didn't get told off for) Miss L and I discussed the existence of God. My contention was that if God was real, he would be constrained by the reality of our universe and suffer the same limitations. Miss L replied there was more to it than that in one of those 'don't argue with me, lesser mortal' tones. There you have it. Miss L has proof of the existence of God and probably lists him as one of her friends on Facebook. It would explain a few things.

Friends of Lesser Mortals

"I was on Radio One last night" Miss A announced with some smugness. Radio One? How come? How did you get a slot on Radio One?

"I know the DJ" She replied with contnued smugness. Oh? Which one?

"Brendan" She replied, her smugness begining to show signs of damage from my insistent interrogation. How come you know Brendan? Is he a friend of a friend or are you in the throes of a mad passionate fling with a national celebrity? Aha! Now she was looking worried.

"I've got him on Facebook" She sniffed, upset at my forcing the truth out of her, "He played a song request last night."

The truth will out. Still, she did get a mention on national radio so for today I can reasonably claim to have been working alongside a famous person. Make the most of it, Miss A, fame is very fleeting, as I know to my cost. Tomorrow I'll probably have forgotten you. Such is the heady pace of Stockroom Street.

Magic Fingers

I have magic fingers. I need only mention them and Miss L descends into uncontrollable giggles. What a strange power I have over women...